A Thousand Years
by Dreams.Written.In.The.Stars
Summary: "You deserve better than me. You've got loads of them Soc boys chasin' ya. Pick one of them." "And what if I'm not at all interested in a single one of those Soc boys, Johnny Cade?" Fifteen-year-old Audrey Miller has just moved to Tulsa, and due to her wealth is dubbed a 'Soc', though she's not sure what that is. Johnny Cade is what they call a 'Greaser'. But boy, he sure is dreamy
1. Right From the Start

Chapter 1: Right From the Start

**So I don't normally do song fics. I think they're a little cheesy. But when I heard 'A Thousand Years' by Christina Perry on the radio, I had been trying to come up with a title for this, and I just thought, listening to the lyrics, that after all the shit he's been through with his parents, and his horrible fate in the book, this is how Johnny Cade deserves to be loved. But other than that, the song has very little to do with the fan fiction, other than the fact that it strongly resembles the way I imagine Audrey loving Johnny. The lyrics will only be in this chapter, but I'm going to try to name each chapter after something in the lyrics. **

**As for my OC, Audrey. I don't **_**think**_** she's a Mary-Sue, and if she is, I like to think she's an extremely well-written one ****J**** Although, incidentally, when I was looking up names that were popular in the 1950s (as that's when Audrey was born, therefore being named) I realized that if I wanted to be cheeky, Mary-Sue would totally be an appropriate name. I finally decided not to, because I want people to take my character seriously. So I went with Audrey, because of my love of Audrey Hepburn. I also have a cousin named Audrey, and she is gorgeous. **

**I like to think that even though SE Hinton never wrote about her, Audrey was a real character, but alas, in canon Johnny never got to meet her because her dad never got the case that moved them to Tulsa. So, really, not an OC, just an AU.**

_The day we met,_

_Frozen, I held my breath,_

_Right from the start_

_I knew that I found a home for my_

_Heart beats fast,_

_Colors and promises,_

_How to be brave,_

_How can I love when I'm afraid to fall,_

_But watching you stand alone_

_All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow_

_One step closer_

_I have died everyday waiting for you_

_Darling don't be afraid, I have loved you_

_For a thousand years,_

_I'll love you for a thousand more_

_Time stands still,_

_Beauty in all she is,_

_I will be brave,_

_I will not let anything take away_

_What's standing in front of me,_

_Every breath_

_Every hour has come to this_

_One step closer_

_I have died everyday waiting for you_

_Darling don't be afraid, I have loved you_

_For a thousand years,_

_I'll love you for a thousand more,_

_And all along, I believed I would find you_

_Time has brought your heart to me,_

_I have loved you for a thousand years,_

_I'll love you for a thousand more,_

_I'll love you for a thousand more_

_One step closer_

_I have died everyday waiting for you_

_Darling don't be afraid, I have loved you_

_For a thousand years,_

_I'll love you for a thousand more,_

_And all along, I believed I would find you,_

_Time has brought your heart to me,_

_I have loved you for a thousand years,_

_I'll love you for a thousand more_

A Thousand Years- Christina Perry

She fidgeted a bit with her light pink mini-dress as she looked apprehensively at the house in front of her. Two stories, five bedrooms, three bathrooms, two studies and a pool in the backyard. If it weren't for the unbearable heat and her desperate need for a glass of water, Audrey could have believed she was staring at her house back in Seattle, they were that similar, that same cookie-cutter, white picket-fence sort of perfect.

But the heat was unbearable and her throat was horrifyingly dry. If that didn't prove she was in Oklahoma then the constant noise of the cicadas sure did. She felt like she was in an oven, and she was suddenly thankful for the new fashion statement that said short dresses were socially acceptable, even if daddy did scowl every time he saw her wearing it.

Alright, well maybe she wanted daddy to scowl. She hadn't wanted to move from Seattle. Her whole life was there, she was born and raised there. But one of daddy's old friends, from way back when he lived in Tulsa, needed his help working on a case. Daddy was a lawyer, you see. Mother had promised Audrey that they'd only be living in Tulsa for six months, tops, but Audrey, who was just barely fifteen and still not quite grown up yet, didn't see the point of moving for six months then going back. She said as much to mother, and then had asked why daddy couldn't move down to Tulsa for six months while they stayed in Seattle.

The moment she'd asked she'd regretted it. She'd miss daddy if he left her for six months.

"Audrey!" Mother called, "Stop just standing there and grab some boxes!"

She quickly turned back to the moving truck and grabbed a box, getting annoyed when she felt her light pink Mary Alice headband fall out. Golden hair tickled her face, and with her hands full, she decided she'd worry about the headband later.

She carried the box inside and quickly set it down on the floor. The only thing about the mini-dress was she had to be extra careful to bend at the knees rather than her waist, because she didn't want to expose herself.

"Thank you, Audrey" Mother said absent-mindedly as she opened a box marked 'silverware'.

Audrey loved mother, of course, but she didn't particularly like her. She just wasn't any fun, not like daddy was, and she hardly ever seemed to approve of anything Audrey did. She was a straight A student, but instead of congratulating her, mother always eyed her report card stonily and told her to make sure she didn't let her grades drop. Never mind the fact that she hadn't made a grade lower than an A- since she was eight years old. Mostly, mother was just a little cold, so Audrey normally found herself drawn towards daddy, who saw the world more like she did. Where mother saw gloomy greys and dark blues and drab browns, daddy and Audrey found bright cerulean blue, sunshine yellow and passionate red. Considering how different they were in personality, Audrey would have been tempted to think she was adopted, or perhaps switched at birth, but they looked far too alike for that to be the case.

The switchblade gleamed in the afternoon sunlight, that loud, awful sound of cardboard giving way filling the entrance hall. Mother was very beautiful in her Marilyn Monroe-style white dress, a thin black belt accentuating her waist. She looked angelic with her gold hair and sky blue eyes, and Audrey wondered, despite the fact that everyone always told her she looked just like mother, if she had ever, or indeed, ever would, look just as perfect.

The perfection was shattered when mother looked up, displeasure marring her pretty face. "Honestly, Audrey, do I have to tell you to do everything? Help your father get the rest of the boxes in!"

That was another thing about mother. She never used terms of endearment, like honey, or sweetheart. Just Audrey.

Later, when all the boxes were inside, Audrey had left mother and daddy to unpack them, taking only her boxes. Right now, she was sprawled out on the bed, room cluttered and only about half moved into. In her hands was a brochure for Juilliard, large blue eyes greedily sucking in the information. Daddy had taken her on a trip to New York last summer, and they had toured the school. Audrey couldn't imagine doing anything else with her life.

She could see it now. She'd go to Juilliard, refine her ballet and then go on to become a professional dancer, like mother had once been, long ago. She could already hear the applause, see the stage lights, taste the fame on the tip of her tongue. She'd be a household name in the world of dance, and she'd get to the top doing what she loved more than anything else in the world: dancing.

Oh, it wouldn't be easy, she knew that despite her idealistic thoughts. But she _had_ to get to Juilliard, she loved dancing too much, there was nothing else for her- she was prepared to claw her way to the top for this. Just the very idea of it was intoxicating to Audrey.

She was about to reread the brochure for what was probably the millionth time, despite the fact that she had every single word memorised, when she heard mother calling for her again.

"Audrey! Come here! Mr. Valance and his family have come to welcome us to the neighbourhood!"

Mr Valance was the lawyer that had asked daddy to come to Tulsa and help him with a difficult case. As far as Audrey understood, daddy and Mr Valance, along with a Mr Sheldon had grown up together, which confused Audrey a bit, because while she had grown up hearing stories about daddy and Mr Valance in their younger days, before it was decided they'd move to Tulsa she'd never heard a single word about Mr Sheldon.

She quickly sprung off the bed, smoothing her blonde hair and making sure her dress hadn't wrinkled. When she got downstairs, mother and daddy were talking to a good-looking couple who looked about their age, late thirties, and a girl that looked about Audrey's age stood quietly next to them. She assumed this was their daughter Sherri. Sherri was very pretty, with long red curls that Audrey saw had been inherited from Mrs Valance, and green eyes from Mr Valance. Audrey couldn't tell what hair color Mr Valance had because he seemed to have greyed early in life, though she did notice his very straight, very white teeth.

Daddy turned to look at her as she came down the staircase. He smiled widely at her, his hazel eyes sparkling, as they always did when he was happy. He stretched his hand out towards her.

"And this is my beautiful daughter! Audrey, come here, sweetheart, I want you to meet Paul and Cathy. Paul was my best friend growing up!"

Audrey already knew this of course, but she still smiled politely at Mr and Mrs Valance and held out her hand to shake. "It's very nice to meet you." She said, smiling.

Daddy gently grabbed her shoulders and turned her to face their daughter. "And this is their daughter, Sherri. She'll be in the same year as you at school. So you'll already have a friend, darling!" Audrey blushed a bit at this comment. Could he have made her sound any more pathetic? As though she couldn't make her own friends!

But Sherri just smiled at her, and Audrey smiled back, because she could somehow just tell that this girl was a genuinely nice person.

"Audrey" mother said, "Why don't you show Sherri around the house while your father and I talk to Mr and Mrs Valance." Audrey nodded and led Sherri out of the main entrance.

Once they were out of earshot of the adults, Audrey turned back to Sherri. "Do you really want a tour, or would you rather just go up to my room?"

Sherri seemed to think about it for a moment, tilting her head in exactly the way Audrey made sure to never do. People already thought she was stupid when they saw her blonde hair without her making confused gestures.

"Let's just go up to your room." Sherri said with a soft Southern accent that Audrey found appealing. "I bet our houses look exactly the same anyway. I mean, we do live right next door to each other."

Audrey considered this, and decided Sherri was probably right. From what she'd seen when she was outside, all these houses were exactly the same.

Once they were in Audrey's room and settled on the bed, Sherri looked at her with those apple green eyes. "So, Audrey, huh? That's a real pretty name."

Audrey smiled. "Thank you. I was named after Audrey Hepburn, you know, the actress. Sherri's nice too."

Sherri wrinkled her nose at that, and then laughed lightly. "Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you, didn't I? My name's Cherry. Only my parents ever call me Sherri."

"Cherry?"

"Yeah, you know, cause of my hair." She said, holding some of it out, as though Audrey needed help identifying the vivid shade of red.

"Oh, right. That's neat."

Daddy was right about one thing: Audrey and Cherry were very fast friends. They talked about Audrey's life back in Seattle, Cherry's boyfriend, Bob Sheldon, who Audrey could only guess was the son of the Mr Sheldon daddy had suddenly begun talking about a few months ago, and Audrey's old boyfriend, Daniel. They talked about how Audrey wanted to be a dancer and go to Juilliard, while Cherry talked about getting an English degree at the state university, and marrying Bob one day.

And by the time Cherry went home, Audrey was beginning to feel like six months in Tulsa might not be so bad.

Over the next few weeks, Cherry went out of her way to introduce Audrey to her friends and make her feel welcome in Tulsa, something that Audrey was indescribably grateful for.

The very first person that she met was Cherry's boyfriend, Bob Sheldon, who was seventeen years old, and going into his junior year of high school. Apparently he and Cherry had already been going steady for almost a year, and Audrey could definitely see why. He was a tall, good-looking boy, and Audrey would bet anything he was involved in numerous sports. He had bright brown eyes that looked just like chocolate when they caught the sunlight, and his black hair was perfectly styled, like Superman. To Audrey, this perfection looked a little Ken-like, as in Barbie and Ken, but it was obvious that Cherry adored him, so Audrey decided not to judge him on that.

She was introduced to several other people, and at first Audrey had difficulty keeping names straight, but she thought she had everybody straight in her head now.

There was Dale Winters and Randy Adderson, who were about as different as night and day, Dale with his straight blond hair and blue eyes and Randy with his crazy brown curls and brown eyes, but they had the same sense of humour and were therefore inseparable.

There was also Danny Wallace, who was a bit quieter and seemed more concerned with his grades than anything, and his girlfriend, Debbie West, who was just like him. He had brown hair and these really clunky glasses so Audrey always got distracted by them when she looked at him. She still didn't know what color his eyes were. He was inseparable from Kenneth, who everyone called Kenny, Reynolds, for entirely different reasons. Despite the fact that Kenny, who Audrey really thought needed a haircut because those wild curls were just always in his face so she didn't know what color his eyes were either, took great enjoyment in annoying Danny at every possible opportunity, the two were step-brothers. Danny's dad had apparently died in a boating accident a few years ago, while Kenny's mom died in childbirth, and last year, their remaining parents had gotten married.

And then there was Christopher 'call me Chris' Shay. He had bright copper hair and big hazel eyes and a real nice smile. Audrey would have liked him if it hadn't been for the fact that he could not stop cracking dirty jokes. It had been a little funny at first, but Chris just had no sense of when it was too far. Audrey usually tried to avoid him, especially since once he saw her, he had the tendency to follow her around for the rest of the day.

Peggy Montgomery was the only one who found Chris really funny, her dark green eyes would always light up when he cracked a joke. Audrey would have thought they'd be perfect for each other if she hadn't already been going steady with Dale.

But Audrey's favourite, besides Cherry, was Marcia, Randy's girlfriend. She was really pretty, in a modest way, with short dark hair that curled around her face. Marcia Brown was always smiling about something, and she was probably one of the funniest people that Audrey had ever met. She always found herself giggling for ages after meeting up with Marcia.

Despite the fact that she was still only really friendly with Cherry and Marcia, Audrey felt better, knowing that she wouldn't be walking into her first day of high school alone and friendless.

The night before her very first day, Audrey went to bed early. If mother was a little cold to Audrey than she was absolutely frosty to daddy, and they had gotten into another fight.

Their fights were strange fights. There was no yelling, no slamming of doors. Sometimes, they would just be talking as they did on any given day, and Audrey would only realize they had begun fighting because their voices would lower, and suddenly they'd be speaking to each other in angry, strangled whispers, hissed harshly to one another across the space between, which, at times like these, seemed to grow much vaster to Audrey, though she never knew what they were fighting about. They would continue on in this fashion until either someone won, or one of them gave up. And then they wouldn't speak to each other for days.

She hated it the most at night. The silence at times like these was suffocating. She thought she'd prefer yelling and slamming doors to the silence. She couldn't stand the silence. Most would say that the very definition of silence means it consists of no sound. But Audrey knew better.

The sound of silence was one of the loudest, most terrible noises she had ever heard.


	2. The Day We Met

Chapter 2: The Day We Met

**AN: First of all, thank you to my reviewers, **_**Pixie silver**_** (thanks for following as well) and **_**jennnaaelizabeth**_**! Seriously, you don't even understand how excited I was when I saw my story had reviews- I wasn't even sure if anyone would want to read it, much less review!**

**I'm trying to update at least once a week, but I can't promise anything because sometimes it'll take longer, and sometimes I'll update after just a day. The latter is more likely to happen now, because I just started Christmas Break, but the former will become more common when I go back to college. My general rule is- don't upload chapter 3 until you've written chapter 4. It motivates me to write chapter 4 because I want to post chapter 3. Reviews also motivate me, haha. **

**In light of the actual story... I think I****'****ve already explained how I hope that Audrey is not a Mary-Sue, though I will admit she has some qualities which some might consider Sue-ish. I would just like to take a moment to explain her a little bit more, as I****'****ve gone so in-depth in my mind as to who Audrey is that to me, she****'****s almost like a real person. Personally, nothing annoys me more than when a character is introduced and everyone immediately loves her- this will not be happening with Audrey. Until her relationship with Johnny becomes common knowledge, she is accepted as a Soc, because that is what she appears to be. The Greasers, however, will need more of a reason to like her, especially since, as I said, she is quite Soc-like. **

**Also, I was reading the reviews for a story last month, and someone said a character wasn't a Mary-Sue because she didn't have blue eyes and blonde hair? I guess if that's a Sue quality then it applies to Audrey... In reality, I chose this colouring for her because when it comes to lead romantic roles, I am a huge fan of contrast. I blame my love of art, really. Johnny is dark, so in the name of contrast it follows that Audrey must be fair. This love of contrast is also why I didn****'****t make Audrey a Greaser. Although maybe that part can be blamed on Shakespeare****'****s Romeo and Juliet :P Another point: Audrey is very pretty. Yes, most of the OC's on this site are very pretty. But let's be honest- who doesn't want to read a romance with a pretty girl? Hollywood has conditioned us all. And yes. Audrey moved to Tulsa from another part of the country- what a cliché! But honestly I love those fics. When you didn****'****t grow up with it, who the hell cares about Greasers and Socs?**

**Anyway, I'm really excited about this chapter because JOHNNY MAKES HIS APEARANCE! The love I hold for this fictional character is, honestly, a little worrying, haha. Tell me what you think- do it for Johnny!**

**Also, I forgot the disclaimer in the first chapter, but I assure you, I do not own the Outsiders. **

The next morning, Audrey's room looked like a tornado had swept through it. Her nervousness for the first day of school had gotten the better of her, and she had no idea what to wear.

At first, Audrey hadn't wanted to draw attention to herself and so had planned on wearing a quarter-sleeve length red-chequered flannel shirt with a pair of blue jean Capri pants. Then she decided that was far too casual and boyish- she would only wear that if she were going to a close friend's house, or perhaps, gardening. So then she painstakingly pulled on a black pair of tights, trying not to rip them with her nails, and put on a black skirt to match, tucking a white blouse in at her waist. It was only when she came to choosing a pair of shoes that she encountered a problem. The only shoes she had that matched were a pair of black heels. Suddenly, she was having visions of clicking her way down the hallway and everybody turning to stare at her. That was when she changed into the light cotton blue dress she was wearing now. It reached her knees and she used a thin brown belt to accentuate her waist.

Then she got to her makeup, and decided she wanted to look glamorous for her first day of school, and had used lots of eye makeup, the kind she had spent hours practicing after seeing it on Twiggy, and a bold red lipstick. But then she realized she wouldn't have time to curl her hair to go with the glamour trend, and in any case, she had realized that her summer dress, while pretty, wasn't exactly glamorous either.

In the end, she had wiped off the excess eye makeup until she only wore minimal amounts of eyeliner and mascara. She decided that this made her blue eyes look brighter anyway, but just to make them pop extra, she used a blue satin ribbon to keep her hair off her face. Then she carefully dabbed at the lipstick until it was almost completely gone, and her lips looked naturally red. She was left looking at a pretty, fresh-faced fifteen-year-old with long, clean, straight gold-blonde hair and cloudy blue eyes.

When she heard the honk of a car outside, she quickly toed on some blue flats to match her dress, and grabbing her white sweater, rushed to get downstairs. Bob and Cherry had told her they'd pick her up in the mornings. She walked past the living room, trying her hardest to ignore mother and daddy's tense silence, but when she walked past, daddy looked up at her and smiled.

"Looking good, princess!" He called out to her.

She smiled over her shoulder at him while opening the front door. "Why, thank you, daddy! Have a nice day!"

"You too, honey!" she heard as she closed the door behind her. The sunlight was bright, and it made Bob's blue mustang shine impressively in her driveway. She was a little jealous. She couldn't wait to start driving. When she got in the car, she was pleased to see Cherry and Marcia, and relieved when she realized they were dressed similarly to her. Marcia smiled at her from the back seat and slid into the middle seat so that when Audrey got in, Marcia was sitting in between Audrey and Randy.

The whole way to school, Bob and Randy kept cracking jokes until Audrey, Cherry and Marcia were in hysterics. The laughter made her feel better- less nervous.

By the time they pulled up, Audrey almost felt normal, and she got out of the car with a vague smile on her face. Cherry was immediately by her side.

"You want me to help you find the main office? We can get your schedule there."

Audrey smiled at Cherry, relieved. She was glad for this because if Cherry hadn't been there, Audrey was sure she would've gotten lost before finding so much as even the office.

She told Cherry this and the redhead laughed before turning back to Marcia and the boys. "Hey y'all, I'm gonna help Audrey find the main office and help her find her class and everything, alright?"

"Sure thing." Marcia said, beginning to pull Randy and Bob into the building. "See ya later!"

The woman in the main office who gave Audrey her schedule was one that she found extremely irritating, snapping her gum obnoxiously and obviously more interested in a magazine with Elvis Presley on the cover than she was in helping Audrey. Though perhaps she couldn't blame her for the magazine. Elvis Presley sure was a dreamboat…

Not that Audrey would ever be caught dead listening to his music. Papa was a preacher who claimed rock 'n' roll music was evil and responsible for the loose morals of young people these days, and mother, while not sharing her father-in-law's view on the evils of rock music, certainly thought the way that Elvis moved his hips was scandalous. Personally Audrey thought that as a dancer mother should be more open-minded, but that was beside the point.

So instead, Audrey satisfied herself with the more socially acceptable Beatles. Not that it was settling. Paul McCartney was certainly good-looking as well, and they made incredible music.

Once she had her schedule, she and Cherry huddled together so they could see it, trying to make their unit as small as possible as more and more people filled the hallways.

**Timetable**

**Miller, Miss Audrey Grace,**

**Per 1: Social Studies, **102

**Per 2: Biology, **57

**Break**

**Per 3: Algebra I, **87

**Per 4: History, **109

**Lunch**

**Per 5: Health, **43

**Per 6: English, **42

Audrey silently griped to herself upon seeing her schedule. Most of the rooms seemed pretty far apart. She turned to Cherry before she could wallow too much in self-pity.

"So where's Room 102?"

Cherry took her to her locker first, looking for locker 311 just like Elvis-magazine-girl had said, and once Audrey had put all but her English and Biology books in it, Cherry took her to a room clear on the other side of the school.

"You'll be okay waiting outside, right?" Cherry asked, because she had History first.

Though Audrey was nervous, she gave Cherry a reassuring smile and told her she'd be fine.

That first lesson was just about one of the most horrible things she'd ever had to sit through. None of the kids seemed as interested in the lesson as they did staring at Audrey, probably wondering 'who the hell is this kid'? Tulsa wasn't all that big, not like Seattle, and most of these kids had probably known each other, or at least known _of_ each other their whole lives. It certainly didn't help when at the start of the lesson, the teacher, an ancient-looking woman named Miss Jones, saw Audrey's name on the register and said 'Oh, Audrey Miller! Your daddy's Eugene Miller, right? I used to teach him, before he moved up to Seattle!' She looked about ready to keel over so Audrey wouldn't have been at all surprised if she'd said she taught Grandma and Papa too.

Biology was about ten million times better. Audrey started talking to the girl who shared her table, Dawn Brady, a brunette who laughed a lot, and by the end of the lesson the girls had exchanged phone numbers.

By the time that Audrey's break came around, Audrey had noticed that the student body seemed to be split in half. One half looked and acted like Audrey, neat clothes, clean hair and the air of someone who had very few problems in life. The other half… were a little different. The boys wore leather jackets, jeans that looked ready to fall apart at the seams, and wore their hair greased back. The girls wore far too much makeup and their clothes were inappropriate even by Audrey's standards, and she liked to think of herself as fairly open-minded.

And these two separate halves did not mix. If by some misfortune, they were forced to speak to one another, the more worn and torn half would get the word 'Greaser' spat viciously at them. Audrey supposed this was because of the boys' hairstyle. But the so-called Greasers would snarl back a strange word that Audrey was fairly sure she heard as 'Soash', though what that meant, she had no idea.

She decided she'd ask Cherry about it at lunch.

"What's a 'soash'?" Audrey asked as she collapsed into the chair next to Cherry at lunch time.

She saw Bob on the other side of Cherry send a look at Randy from across the table. All the rest of the gang was there too- Chris, Dale, Danny, Kenny, and their girls, Marcia, Peggy and Debbie.

Her gaze lingered on Danny and Debbie in particular. Danny and Debbie. They were sickeningly perfect for each other with how absorbed they always were in their books. In fact, they were so absorbed in their books that Audrey wondered how often they even noticed each other. Though she supposed they'd always understand each other. She snorted to herself as she imagined what surely must be their weekly Saturday night conversation:

"_So do you want to go to the Nightly Double tonight, Debbie?__"_

"_No, that__'__s sweet of you to ask Danny, but I__'__m far more interested in my books.__"_

"_That__'__s alright, I am too. I just thought it was my duty as your boyfriend to at least see if you wanted to go.__"_

"_Aw, Danny, you__'__re too sweet!__"_

Of course, Danny and Debbie, attempting to read and eat at the same time, were the only two who didn't get awkward when Audrey asked her question. The awkwardness of everyone else made her feel awkward too, and she was grateful that Danny and Debbie weren't paying all that much attention. She immediately began to feel bad for her uncharitable thoughts towards them.

"Well, _we__'__re_ Soashes." Cherry said.

Audrey had guessed that much from the fact that everyone who got called a 'Soash' seemed to be from a similar background as her. As far as she could tell, Tulsa was in some sort of strange class war.

"Yeah, but what does it mean?" Audrey clarified.

"Well, it means that we behave in a socially acceptable way. It's short for social, you know?"

Oh. Soc. Not Soash.

"What Cherry means to say" Chris started talking and Audrey fought not to roll her eyes. "is that we're not like those damn Greasers." There was a scandalized gasp from Peggy at the word 'damn', and Audrey again had to fight not to roll her eyes. "They're just hoods, you know. They're all the same, juvenile delinquents. You wanna stay away from them, Odd." She hated that he'd started calling her that. Odd as a substitute for the shortening of her name- Aud… it wasn't cute. It was annoying. And the other day he'd taken it a step further and called her 'Odd-ball'.

As for the juvenile delinquent comment, though she kept it to herself, she felt that was a gross generalisation. Surely not all Greasers could possibly be the same. After all, she already knew that all Socs weren't the same. She certainly wasn't anything like Chris Shay.

Audrey looked around the table, somewhat in disbelief. Marcia wasn't smiling anymore, and Cherry had a little line between her eyebrows. From what Audrey had observed over the summer, the only time she ever got that was when she was trying to stop herself from saying something. But those were the only indicators that perhaps not everyone at this table felt the same way. Peggy Montgomery on the other hand was nodding vigorously to everything Chris had said, even as her boyfriend Dale started kissing her cheek. Audrey raised an eyebrow. She wished Peggy would just go out with the guy she wanted instead of being so obviously in love with Chris right in front of Dale. Dale was a nice guy, he didn't deserve this.

And maybe if Chris was dating Peggy, he'd quit trying to impress Audrey.

By the time she walked into her last lesson, English, Audrey had realized that other than observing the strange Soc/Greaser feud, school in Tulsa was just as boring as school in Seattle. The most interesting thing that had happened was when Cherry made her sign up for the cheerleading team. She supposed she could always drop it if it interrupted her dancing, but she was still a bit worried about it. Other than that, there was nothing of note, and she wanted nothing more than to go home.

Unfortunately Mr. Syme had other ideas. He couldn't just let them sit down, either, which annoyed Audrey because Dawn was in this class. No, Mr. Syme had to create a seating plan.

He made them all stand along the back wall as he randomly assigned seats. Dawn got put up somewhere near the front, and Audrey winced in sympathy when a boy named James Davidson got sat next to her. His hair was red, but not Cherry's pretty red- more like a flaming orange that almost hurt to look at and he had a terrible case of acne, not to mention he kept blowing his nose every five seconds, so his desk was sure to be piled high with snotty tissues by the end of the lesson.

Audrey watched with disinterest as several more people were seated, and only snapped to when a boy called 'Johnny Cade' was given a seat nearly at the very back. He in particular caught her attention because he was the only Greaser in this class. And he was definitely a Greaser. His sneakers were so beat up they looked about ready to fall off, and she thought that maybe the dried mud was holding them together, like glue. He was wearing about 75% denim, and most of it was ripped in someway.

And let's not forget the hair grease that made his black hair shine.

"Audrey Miller. Next to Mr. Cade, please,"

She blushed a bit when she realized she'd been staring at the boy, but nobody seemed to notice. She walked briskly to sit in the seat next to him. She turned to look at him, but couldn't see much other than some tanned skin behind that jean jacket collar.

"Hi. I'm Audrey." She whispered, introducing herself.

He started slightly, as though surprised she was talking to him. He turned to look at her.

Audrey could swear her heart stopped for a moment. She'd seen some handsome boys. Her first and only boyfriend, Daniel Moore, had been quite the looker with perfectly-styled blond hair and cornflower blue eyes. Everyone said they were perfect for each other because both being blond and blue-eyed, they looked good together. And then there was that boy with the unusual name, Sodapop, that she'd very briefly seen getting yelled at for getting a detention on the first day of school when she'd walked past the principal's office earlier. Gosh, that boy should be a movie star, he was so good-looking.

But this boy, Johnny Cade- he was _beautiful_. Audrey never thought she'd use such a feminine term for a boy, but it was true. Terms like 'handsome' and 'good-looking' just didn't even cut it with this boy. It wasn't even that he looked feminine, because he most certainly did not. It was more like… beautiful was the only word that came even somewhat close to encompassing him.

She found herself staring into a pair of big, startled dark eyes. She supposed they must be brown, but they looked for all the world like they were black. She couldn't tell where the iris ended and the pupil began. She could spend all day staring into those eyes.

Her eyes involuntarily flicked to his lips when he spoke. "Johnny." He whispered back to her in a Southern accent that made her breath catch. And that was all he said.

She couldn't stop staring. She thought part of it might be shock, though she certainly didn't want to look away. His lips were full and good Lord, for a girl who had been too shy to kiss her own boyfriend unless _he_ initiated it, she wanted to grab this boy in front of the whole class and kiss him senseless. Her eyes flickered all over his face, even after he had turned back to the front. He had long eyelashes and Audrey found herself fixated on them as he blinked. His nose was very fine, and gosh, who wouldn't be jealous of those cheekbones? Audrey sure was.

She finally managed to tear her gaze away after what must have been a full five minutes and even as she sat blushing at her own stupidity, she didn't hear anything else that was said for the whole rest of the lesson, because she was trying so hard not to stare at the beautiful boy sitting next to her.


	3. Heart Beats Fast

Chapter 3: Heart Beats Fast

**Disclaimer: As much as I would love to own Johnny, I don't own the Outsiders. Yes, it **_**is**_** sad.**

**OMG, I am on a roll! 3 chapters in 3 days! And I thought I'd be having trouble meeting my 1 chapter per week quota! Of course, now that I've said that I'm probably going to wake up tomorrow with the worst case of writer's block ever.**

**To my reviewers-**

_**Jennnaaelizabeth**_**: Thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Personally, I get excited every time you say 'I love this', haha! I actually have only seen Ralph Macchio in The Outsiders, so I didn't know he played Daniel Larusso, but that would have been cool! **

_**LunarLilies**_**: First of all, can I just say- I love your penname! I'm glad you liked Audrey's view of the Soc/Greaser war-thing, haha. I really wanted her to be new to town because it seems like the kids in Tulsa fight about it so much that even if you're just middle-class, you're still very aware of the message you're sending out if you hang out with one of these groups. But Audrey doesn't quite get that yet. Also, thank you, I was a little concerned about whether or not she was a Mary-Sue. It's hard to judge your own writing and I've found that it's very easy to fall into the trap of wanting to create a perfect character. As for her seeming like an actual new girl- I myself have been the new girl more times than I would like. Haha, yeah, well once Johnny finally realizes that Audrey likes him, I think he'll understand why she was staring so much XD**

_**Just obsessed: **_**Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it :D**

**Thanks for the reviews, favs and follows!**

**By the way, don't be too mad with Audrey (or me) in this chapter. She acts pretty stupid here, but don't worry, she redeems herself. **

**Also, just wanted to let you guys know, I've outlined the story, and I'm still outlining the specifics of each chapter, but so far this looks like it's going to be **_**at least **_**20 chapters.**

Within the next week, mother had rented a dance studio where she could teach girls ballet. Mother only taught girls over the age of thirteen. She claimed this was because she did not have the patience for beginners. Audrey believed her, having taken dance lessons from her starting at age three. She was only granted this 'privilege' as her daughter.

It had been horrible. Mother had often yelled at Audrey for not picking up forms fast enough, and Audrey frequently became frustrated to the point of tears. There was more than one occasion over the years where Audrey just wanted to give it up altogether. It was ironic that, in the end, what kept her going, her source of hope, was in fact _mother_.

Audrey grew up watching old film reels of mother back when she was a professional dancer. She moved with a fluidity and grace that made Audrey's heart ache with jealousy, a fluidity and grace that she retained even now, years after her dance career had ended. All her lines were so, so beautiful and clean. Mother pushed hard, sometimes _too_ hard, but Audrey knew when she watched those films, if she could just get through this bad part, she'd come out of it dancing just as beautifully as mother used to.

Although this was a bad part that Audrey hadn't had to deal with for a couple of years now- mother's undivided attention during a dance lesson. She hadn't had to deal with this since she turned thirteen and was able to join in mother's normal classes. Unfortunately, as mother had only begun advertising the lessons last week, no girls had signed up yet. Thus, mother was 100% focused on Audrey.

"No, no, _no_! Audrey, how many times do I have to tell you? Keep your arms _locked_!"

Audrey sighed with frustration and discreetly snuck another glance at the clock on the wall. Fifteen minutes left to freedom. Though she supposed it wasn't really freedom. Cherry kept calling her and asking her opinion on cheer formations, so she'd probably just be dealing with another form of dance after this. Though she supposed it wouldn't be so bad. It wasn't the dancing that was frustrating- it was mother.

Mother had not been at all pleased when she'd heard that Audrey had signed up for cheerleading.

"It will disrupt your dance, and then how will you get into Juilliard?"

Audrey, in the end, had had to remind mother that colleges liked to see extracurricular activities on applications; so really, cheerleading was a strength, rather than a weakness.

Presently, Audrey tried hard not to roll her eyes. "I'm sorry, mother." she said in a stiff tone.

"Don't use that tone with me!" Mother snapped. Audrey took a deep breath and tried again.

"I'm sorry, mother." This time her tone was looser, and mother nodded her acceptance of the apology.

Audrey supposed that the main problem with mother, the reason that she _loved_ her but didn't _like_ her, was that mother was just too bitter. It seemed that no matter what she was doing or who she was talking to, there was a bitterness about mother, and it seemed to permeate the air and drape around Audrey, until she too felt bitter for no apparent reason. The only time the bitterness was not present, was when mother danced, though she hardly ever did anymore.

And Audrey thought she had finally figured out why. The thing that caused the bitterness. It was _because_ of the dancing. For the first two years after mother and daddy married, she had managed to hold onto her career, but once she fell pregnant with Audrey, everything just went down the drain.

And she was resentful for it.

The car was stifling in the Oklahoma heat, and Audrey had never been more thankful for the AC. She watched Tulsa glide by outside the window as mother drove them home, and tried to ignore the thick silence in the car.

"How has school been?" Mother's words were startlingly loud in the silence.

Audrey turned from the window, surprised. "Um- it's okay. I mean, I think everything is going well. It's only been a week, so I haven't got any grades back yet, but the teachers all seem to like me."

Mother nodded sharply. "Good. Make sure it stays that way."

Audrey nodded, watching mother. She wasn't sure if mother was asking out of concern for Audrey, Audrey's grades, or both.

Eventually, when mother didn't say anything else, Audrey turned back to the window. Nothing was said for the rest of the car ride.

Audrey had never been more thankful when the phone rang later that evening. She was in the middle of her Algebra homework, and it was more frustrating than mother's one-to-one dance lessons. She was much more suited to English.

"Audrey honey, phone's for you! Someone named Dawn?" Daddy's voice floated up from downstairs. Audrey wasn't getting a phone in her room until next week, so until then she had to take all her calls from downstairs.

She sprung up from her desk chair, more than happy to abandon the homework. "I'm coming, daddy!" She called, almost running from the equations.

Daddy handed her the phone in the living room, smiling at her. "I'll just leave you alone, then." Audrey loved him, and his understanding of her desire for privacy. She smiled brightly at his back as he left the room.

"Hello? Dawn?" Audrey asked into the phone, sitting down on the couch.

"Audrey! Hey! I wanted your help with our Biology homework-"

She was cut off when Audrey groaned miserably into the phone. "Sorry Dawn. I'm still stuck on my Algebra homework! I haven't even looked at Biology yet!"

"Oh." Dawn laughed, presumably at Audrey's misery. "Well, it's okay. I really do need help, but mostly it was just an excuse to call. Wanna distract each other?"

Audrey laughed a little bit. "I would love that." She suddenly smiled wickedly to herself. "So… how's it been, sitting next to James Davidson in English?"

"Ugh!" Dawn exclaimed disgustedly. "Don't even talk to me about that! Do you know what I saw him do on Wednesday? He picked his nose, and then wiped it on the underneath of his desk! Like, ew! I thought people stopped doing that after second grade!"

Audrey winced in disgust and suddenly wished she hadn't asked. She'd wanted to tease Dawn, not be scarred for life.

"I feel kinda bad for him, though." Dawn continued. "He keeps asking girls out and they keep rejecting him. But really meanly, you know? But I guess that's what you get when you're a middle-classer and ask a bunch of Soc girls out, even if you're not James Davidson."

"Wait." Audrey stopped her before she could say anything else. "Middle-classers?" She'd only heard about the Greasers and the Socs.

"Yeah, you know." Said Dawn. "The kids that aren't Socs _or_ Greasers. Kids like me and James Davidson. Middle-classers."

Audrey blinked in surprise. She hadn't really thought enough about Tulsa's weird class obsession yet to wonder about kids who weren't either or. But now that Dawn said it, it made a lot of sense, and she felt a little bit stupid for not having thought of it earlier. It was a little obvious, really.

"Of course, you won't hear the Socs or Greasers talking about middle-classers." Dawn went on. "Honestly, they only pay attention to themselves and each other. They're so caught up in it all that I don't think they've even noticed that there are kids out there who think the whole thing is just overrated… You're different that way. Never met a Soc that didn't immediately start trash talking when Greasers were brought up."

Audrey wrinkled her nose a bit at that, readjusting the phone. "Yeah, well, I don't really think of myself as a Soc. I'm just plain old Audrey."

Dawn scoffed a little down the phone. "Oh, you're definitely a Soc, hanging out with Bob Sheldon and Cherry Valance like you do. They're like, the King and Queen Soc… Guess that makes you part of the Royal Court." Dawn teased.

Audrey giggled at that. "Shut up!" She laughed. "I don't hang out with them cause they're popular! Our dads all grew up together. I live right next door to the Valances."

Dawn whistled, only it sounded shrill through the phone and it made Audrey flinch a little.

"Gee, that was a real lucky break for ya, huh?" Dawn asked. "Being friends with Cherry Valance means people are always gonna be real nice to you. Well, except for the Greasers, but so long as you leave them be, I doubt they'll mess with you."

Audrey bit her lip thinking about the Greasers. The word 'Greaser' always conjured the image of Johnny Cade in her head. Butterflies swarmed her stomach and her heart beat faster. She twisted the phone cord around her fingers as she weighed the pros and cons of asking what she wanted to.

She decided not to ask.

"Dawn, what do you know about Johnny Cade?"

So then why did that question just come out of her mouth?

"Johnny Cade?" Dawn asked, sounding surprised. "Um, not a whole lot. He kinda keeps to himself and his gang. You know, that group of boys that hang out with the Curtis brothers? He's not in school a whole lot. Why d'ya ask?"

Audrey groaned in her head. She already _knew_ all of that! They had only been in school for a week, and she had already noticed that his attendance was sporadic. At first she wondered if maybe he was sick, but then she noticed that a lot of the Greasers didn't seem too concerned with attendance after the first day.

She refused to acknowledge why this annoyed her so much.

When he _did_ show up, she often caught glimpses of him leaving the cafeteria with a group of boys that she had come to know, over the course of her week in school, as Sodapop Curtis, Two-Bit Mathews and Steve Randle. Sometimes a couple of girls would trail after them. One of them was named Evie, but Audrey hadn't figured out which one she was yet. The only thing that stopped the emotion that she refused to identify as jealousy was the fact that the two girls were always hanging on the arms of Sodapop and Steve.

"Oh. Um. No reason." Audrey said in response to Dawn's question.

There was silence for a moment.

"Does Audrey have a little crush?" She could practically _hear_ the smile in Dawn's voice.

Audrey blushed hard, and was glad that Dawn wasn't there to see it. She couldn't possibly have a crush on him. Gosh, she'd seen the boy a total of two times in the last seven days! She knew nothing about him!

But that didn't change the fact that every time she saw him, her heart felt like it was going to jump straight out of her chest. And it didn't change the fact that blood rushed to her cheeks and she couldn't look away. It also didn't change the fact that she had trouble controlling the urge to grab him and kiss him until she forgot her own name.

"Uh, no-" Audrey tried, but she was interrupted.

"Oh my gosh! You do, don't you!" Dawn laughed a little bit. Audrey wanted the ground to swallow her whole. "I wondered who it was you were looking at during lunch on Thursday!"

"I wasn't-"

Dawn interrupted her again, her tone less teasing and more conspiratorial. "He is pretty cute, isn't he? I used to have a little bit of a crush on him myself. Of course, this was back in the fifth grade, before anyone cared about Socs and Greasers."

Audrey suddenly felt relief and relaxed a bit. Alright, so fine. She had a teeny, tiny, little, itty-bitty crush on Johnny Cade. It would go away eventually, right? And until then, she could safely talk to Dawn about it. Because Dawn wasn't judging her for liking a Greaser, the way she suspected Cherry or Marcia or Peggy or Debbie might.

It was going to be fine.

"I… okay, yeah. He is a little cute." Audrey almost whispered the words, even as a smile crept up on her and she bit her lip nervously, checking that mother and daddy weren't anywhere nearby.

Dawn squealed loudly and Audrey flinched again. She needed to talk to Dawn about phone etiquette.

"Oh gosh! This is so cute! Have you talked to him at all?"

Audrey laughed nervously. "Um… not really. Well I mean, I told him my name. And he told me his."

"That's _it_? Audrey! You have to talk to him! The next time he's in class, you are _talking_ to him!"

"Yeah, well, it's not as easy-"

"Wait just a minute, Audrey." Dawn said. Audrey could hear her muffled voice saying 'Yeah mom?' There was some more muffled talking, and then Dawn came back on the line.

"Sorry Audrey. I've gotta go. Look, d'ya wanna go to the Nightly Double this weekend? They've always got great movies on there, and we can talk about this some more."

Audrey agreed, a little frustrated with the fact that it was only Monday.

"But you won't tell anybody, will you Dawn? That I-" Audrey looked around the room again before whispering into the receiver "That I like Johnny?"

"Ah, no, of course not! Don't worry about it! Gotta go now, bye!"

"Kay, bye-" almost before the words were out of Audrey's mouth, Dawn had hung up.

The next day, Tuesday, was a disaster. Well, okay, it wasn't that bad. It _had_ been going really well… at least until she got to English.

She was really pleased with how well her rides in the mornings were going, as well as lunchtimes, as she felt like she was becoming more and more integrated into Cherry's group of friends… who she guessed were becoming _her_ group of friends. Of course, she still missed her friends from back in Seattle, but she had found that over the past month of being in Tulsa, it was surprisingly easy to move on and make new friends. She also found that despite the numerous promises to stay in touch with each other, this was far easier said than done. Often by the time that Audrey thought about calling, it was too late at night to be polite. When her friends called her, she was often busy and vise versa. And when they _did_ manage a conversation, they often talked about things that had happened in Seattle for which Audrey had no context. They quickly ran out of things to talk about, and already, the phone calls were becoming further and further apart.

But Audrey found that she wasn't as sad about this as she thought she'd be. She and Cherry spent a lot of time with each other outside of school, and she talked to Dawn on the phone almost every night.

So the day had been going fairly well. Dawn was right when she said that people were nice when you were friends with Cherry Valance. There had been a couple of boys over the past week that had offered to carry her books and walk her to class, and the girls were always friendly, waving to her in the halls and complimenting her hair and clothes. Audrey always made it a point to give someone a compliment back whenever someone complimented her, and she found that this made the girls even warmer towards her.

There was nothing that girls liked more than compliments.

And then she got to English.

She had spent the whole day promising herself that if Johnny was in class today, she'd do what Dawn said and actually talk to him.

Of course, that was before she actually _saw_ him.

Apparently, Johnny Cade had the ability to make Audrey Miller shockingly, horrifyingly, disgustingly _stupid_. Which was really annoying. It was annoying that she was so dumb around him, and her feelings for him were annoying because they made her dumb, and _he_ was annoying for _making_ her dumb!

Johnny Cade was the most annoying person that Audrey had ever met.

She was early for her last class, early enough that through the window in the door, she could see Mr. Syme with another class. She sighed and prepared herself for a boring wait.

And then _he_ walked around the corner. She went to say 'hi', but, of course, nothing ever goes as planned. Her heart was beating so, so fast, and the butterflies decided to make an appearance.

So, of course, the very first thing that Audrey did when she saw Johnny was drop her books. She blushed. The loud noise made him look at her, and she knew he could see her blushing. So she blushed even harder.

She bent to pick them up, and as she kneeled she let her straight blonde hair form a shield around her face, so he couldn't see her blushing. It was a good thing too, because the situation only got worse.

The annoying butterflies in her stomach, the ones that were making her act so dumb, were also making her hands shake. She kept trying to pick up her books and then dropping them all over again. After the third time this happened, Audrey was surprised to see a pair of tanned hands pick up her books for her, and give them to her.

She stood up and looked at him in surprise. He looked a little bit awkward, like he hadn't particularly wanted to draw attention to himself, but he gave her a small smile.

And she, like an idiot, didn't smile back.

Instead, she said the stupidest thing that anybody has ever said in the history of the whole world- no, the whole _universe_.

"I didn't _need_ your help! I can do things by myself, you know. Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I need boys constantly helping me all the time!"

Audrey was horrified. She didn't even know where the words came from, or why she said them. He was allowed to help her any time he wanted to! She felt like she could be sick when she saw him shuffle awkwardly, sticking his hands in his pockets. He turned away from her, and her stomach sunk. She could feel herself paling, and something a lot like panic climbed up her throat.

Just as she opened her mouth to say she was sorry, the door to Mr Syme's classroom opened, and a flood of kids came out.

And, like an idiot, she swallowed her apology.

He didn't so much as look at her for the rest of the lesson, and from the way she felt worse and worse with every passing second, she knew she was in trouble.

Because she didn't have a teeny, tiny, little, itty-bitty crush. No, she had a big, fat crush on Johnny Cade. And it wasn't going away anytime soon.

And she, like an idiot, had just ruined everything.

She wasn't really in the mood for cheerleading after school that day. She felt horrible. She wanted to go and find Johnny. She wanted to prostrate herself in front of him and beg for forgiveness. And if she couldn't do that, then she wanted to curl up in bed and never face the light of day ever again. Never in her whole life had she ever felt so guilty, which she found odd, because she had said and done plenty worse things.

But Cherry made her go. She went through the formations on autopilot, and she got yelled at when she almost dropped Alice Everett.

Cherry asked her what was wrong as they walked to the street corner where Bob had said he'd pick them up.

"Nothing." Audrey said, shrugging. "I just said something stupid."

"Stupid embarrassing, or stupid hurtful?"

"Both." Audrey said.

Cherry winced. "That's always the worst. You know what you have to do, right?"

"Hide in my room for the rest of my life?" Audrey guessed, only half joking.

Cherry laughed, rolling her eyes.

"No, silly. You gotta apologize. Once they forgive you, you'll stop feelin' so bad. And if they don't forgive you, well… at least you'll know you tried, right?"

Audrey nodded, letting her hair fall in front of her face. Suddenly her eyes had filled up with tears. She just felt so _awful_. He had only been being nice, trying to help her, and she'd gone and bitten his head off, acting like how dare he help her?

She'd acted just like he would expect a Soc to.

"Right." She choked out.


	4. Frozen

Chapter 4: Frozen

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own it.**

**Guys, we have a problem: I am addicted to your reviews! I am quickly becoming obsessed with this fanfic- it's like my baby. I blame this obsession for me constantly writing. The only sound that comes from my room anymore is the sound of the keyboard! **

_**jennnaaelizabeth: **_**Thank you so much! The wonderful vocabulary and smooth sentence structure come from taking English at college ;) Again, thank you. I worked really hard to get stories to flow this way, and it's nice to know my efforts paid off. **

_**Just obsessed:**_** Lol, you have no idea how relieved I was to see you took Audrey's blunder in stride :D I was actually freaking out when I posted this. This was me: OMG, they're going to hate Audrey now, and be mad at me for ruining her, and stop reading my story! But your review reassured me :D**

_**Jolie**_**: Haha, don't worry! She redeems herself in this chapter!**

_**Pixie silver**_**: Thanks for the constructive criticism :D I actually realized that myself after I posted, but by that point I didn't think such a small thing was really worth editing out. I was basing it on my experiences when starting at a new school- in the morning, it's like, the outfit is my whole world, but yeah, in a story it's maybe a little much. If you spot anything else like that worth mentioning, please do :D It'll improve the quality of my story if I avoid these things in the future, and I won't always notice them myself :D**

_**Bindiygloa**_**: Haha, yeah her reaction was a little strange. It gets explained further in this chapter. I felt really mean, making Audrey do that to Johnny, but it was necessary to the plot because her apology is going to kick start their friendship.**

_**YouSeeMeRollin**_**: First of all- is your name from the song Ridin Dirty? If so, that, combined with the fact you reviewed my story, means that you are made of awesomeness. Who are we kidding? You reviewed- you're awesome no matter what :D Haha, yeah, Audrey wasn't expecting it either ;) **

**Thank you for the reviews, favs and follows :D **

If nothing else, then Tuesday had been an eye-opener. Of course, even as she denied it to herself, Audrey really _had_ known that she had it bad for Johnny Cade. After Tuesday though, she could no longer even _attempt_ to deny it to herself.

Audrey Miller had a _thing_ for Johnny Cade.

But her actions on Tuesday had been so _opposite_ to her feelings, and she still cursed herself ten ways to Sunday every time she thought about how terrible she'd been to him. She herself was surprised by the strength of her feelings for him, especially when she considered the fact that they'd barely spoken to one another. They'd told each other their names, and then, of course, the source of all this grief in the first place, Audrey had been unbearably rude to him. That was it. That was as far as any of their interactions had ever gone.

That didn't change the fact that she cried herself to sleep on Tuesday.

When she had gone to school on Wednesday, she had been more than eager to follow Cherry's advice and apologize. Anything to make the awful feeling in the pit of her stomach go away. But Johnny hadn't been at school. He wasn't in class on Thursday or Friday either, and with every passing day that her apology was delayed, she fell further into a guilt-induced depression.

As the days went by, her mind-set towards Tuesday changed. She went from feeling ill every time she so much as even thought about it, to dissecting the events of that disastrous afternoon with an almost morbid curiosity. What in the world had caused her to say those things?

She remembered feeling horribly embarrassed that she was being so clumsy in front of him. Having danced since the age of three, Audrey usually had a certain amount of grace in her movements, and she had never taken kindly to the inevitable occasional bout of clumsiness. The fact that it had happened in front of him just made everything so, so much worse. As far as she could tell, her embarrassment, along with the general nervousness that he seemed to provoke, had caused her to blurt out the very first thing that came to mind, and she did vaguely remember being briefly concerned with the idea that a tough-looking guy like Johnny was probably now under the impression that she couldn't take care of herself.

So maybe she'd _over_ corrected…

But it wasn't even just Johnny anymore. Audrey had spent the last couple of days feeling too ashamed of herself to talk to Dawn about what had happened, and as a result had ignored her phone calls and avoided sitting next to her in Biology. From the dirty look she'd gotten on Friday morning, Audrey gathered that Dawn wasn't all that pleased. Cherry was also beginning to get annoyed with her, because Audrey was being evasive when asked if anything was wrong.

By Friday night, Audrey had decided that as bad as she felt about everything, she couldn't possibly make up for treating Johnny badly by treating her friends badly. Sighing, she turned over on her bed and reached for the newly installed phone on her nightstand.

She dialed Dawn's number, and after the first five rings became concerned that maybe no one was going to answer, but then she heard the click of the phone being picked up and Dawn's voice. She sounded distracted, and Audrey could hear something clinking in the background. She wondered if Dawn was picking a nail polish. Dawn enjoyed coming to school with different colored nails every day.

"Hello, Brady household, Dawn speaking."

Audrey suddenly bit her lip, feeling awkward. What right did she have, really, to call Dawn after ignoring her all week?

"Hi. Um… it's Audrey."

There was a long silence that made Audrey's stomach twist unpleasantly.

"Give me one good reason not to hang up on you." She didn't sound distracted anymore. Now she just sounded angry.

"Dawn, I'm really, really sorry. I've been stupid. I promise not to do it again. I just… I didn't have the greatest week, and instead of talking to you like I _should_ have done, I avoided you. I… I really won't do it again. I promise. Forgive me? Please?"

There was another long silence, and Audrey considered what she might do if Dawn refused to forgive her. Probably cry.

"Yeah, I guess." Dawn said, though she still sounded annoyed. "You wanna tell me what made your week so bad?"

Audrey winced at the bitter tone of Dawn's voice before checking the time. 5:36.

"Sorry, I don't have time right now. We have guests coming over for dinner at 6:00, and it might lead to an in-depth conversation. I'll tell you tomorrow night at the Nightly Double… that is, if you still want to go with me?"

Dawn huffed a bit through the line, but still agreed to meet at the Nightly Double the next night at 7:00.

"Who's coming for dinner?" Dawn asked.

Audrey sighed and rolled over onto her back, so she was staring at the ceiling. "The Valances and the Sheldons. It's kind of weird though, yesterday I heard mother and daddy talking about how they didn't want to have to entertain the Sheldons."

"But… I thought you said that your dad, Cherry's dad and Bob's dad all grew up together?"

"They did!" Audrey exclaimed. "That's why it's weird!"

"Hmm." Dawn hummed. "You wanna know what _I_ think is weird? The way you call your parents 'mother and daddy'. Just say mom and dad!"

Audrey rolled her eyes. Dawn liked to poke fun at her for the way she addressed her parents. Several others had brought this up to her in the past as well. Not so much for her calling her father 'daddy'. Lots of fifteen-year-old girls did that. But they all thought 'mother' was a little strange. The sad truth of it was, Audrey just didn't feel close enough to mother to call her anything else. Except maybe her name. But that was just disrespectful.

"Shut up." Audrey finally settled on saying. She felt a bit better when Dawn laughed. At least she wasn't mad anymore.

When 6:00 came around, the doorbell rang right on time. Audrey became annoyed because she was still applying makeup, a task that she had neglected in favor of calling Dawn instead, and come on, who ever _actually_ comes right on time?

The Sheldon family, apparently. They were dressed in what looked to be their Sunday best, and there was an awkward silence when Audrey came downstairs. At first, she thought that maybe the reason the adults were looking at her so strangely was because they had been talking about her, but a quick glance at Bob's face showed that he didn't get what was going on either.

She finally decided that they were just annoyed with her for being late, quite a feat in her own house, and she decided apologizing would be for the best. First Dawn, now the Sheldons, probably Cherry, and _definitely_ Johnny, when he decided that he was actually going to show up for class. It looked like 'sorry' was her new favorite word.

"Sorry I'm late." Audrey smiled nervously at Mr. and Mrs. Sheldon. Bob was like a younger version of his father, and Mrs. Sheldon was a tiny, little woman with dark brown hair and delicate features. Audrey marveled that such a fragile-looking woman had given birth to someone as big and strong as Bob Sheldon.

"Oh, it's no problem." Mr. Sheldon said, smiling at her. Mrs. Sheldon barely glanced at her before pointedly looking away.

"You look very like your mother." She said, though somehow she managed to make it sound like an insult. Audrey sent a confused look at mother, but she was too busy sending a filthy look at Mrs. Sheldon to pay all that much attention to her.

This time when the doorbell rang, Audrey was relieved and she almost literally jumped to get it. Bob looked desperately like _he_ had been the one who'd wanted to answer the door. She knew how he felt. The interactions in the sitting room were just too strange for Audrey to decipher. Obviously _this_ was why mother and daddy hadn't wanted to entertain the Sheldons. _This_ was probably also why Audrey had not heard about Mr. Sheldon until very recently, though what _this_ was, or what had caused it, she had absolutely no idea. All she knew was she wanted to get as far away from it and it's awkwardness as possible.

She opened the door and made sure to smile extra brightly for Cherry, hoping that maybe she hadn't offended her enough for an apology to be necessary. Not that she'd have a problem apologizing if it was. Honestly, she was just so embarrassed by the way she had acted this week that she couldn't wait to be able to put it behind her.

Thankfully, Cherry smiled back with very little hesitation. It wasn't her fake smile either, the one that was a little tight and only given to be polite. No, this was the full on 'I'm happy to see you' smile.

She took Mr. and Mrs. Valances evening coats, and led the three to the sitting room, where Mr. Valance made a big show of greeting Mr. and Mrs. Sheldon, who were apparently named Robert and Judith.

By the time that dinner had been served though, Mr. Valance had dimmed somewhat, probably having noticed the weirdness that was Audrey's parents and Bob's parents. She and Cherry made funny faces at each other from across the table, and once Bob realized what they were doing, he tried to act like he above it all by rolling his eyes, but it wasn't long before he had joined in. She and Cherry kept giggling, and it was at around this point that the adults must have decided they weren't listening, because they started whispering to each other.

"What's wrong with you?" Mr. Valance asked, sounding confused and frustrated.

"Oh, nothing." Mrs. Sheldon said in that tone people use when they really mean _everything_. "Just remembering a spat we had with Eugene and Patricia before they moved from Tulsa."

Before she could stop herself, Audrey turned towards their conversation. "Wait, wait, wait. You guys lived here? _Together_?" she asked her parents.

As far as she'd always understood, daddy had gone up to Seattle on business, and that's when he met mother. They had gotten married, and daddy hadn't returned to Tulsa in close to eighteen years.

Mother looked highly displeased at this question. "Yes." She answered in a clipped tone. "Briefly. Before you were born."

Audrey was still a little bit confused. While her parents had never specifically _said_ where they'd lived after their wedding, Audrey had always been led to believe that daddy had never returned to Tulsa after falling in love with mother. Why wouldn't they tell her they'd lived in Tulsa for awhile?

The adults quickly changed the subject, and Audrey decided that it didn't matter that they'd lived in Tulsa. She was far more interested in what this 'spat' could possibly be. After dinner, when the teenagers had been excused from the table and were in Audrey's room, she asked Bob and Cherry if they had any idea what the 'spat' was, but neither of them knew what was going on either.

They started talking about other things, and over the next few days, going to the Nightly Double with Dawn and figuring out how she should apologize to Johnny, she would forget about the peculiarity of that night.

When Audrey and Dawn got to the Nightly Double on Saturday night, after they'd paid for their seats, they spent very little time watching the movie. In fact, Audrey couldn't even claim to know which movie it _was_, though Tuesday Weld was in it. Gosh, what Audrey wouldn't give to be as pretty as Tuesday Weld!

Instead, they talked about Johnny.

"And then he helped me pick up my books-"

"Aw!" Dawn squealed, interrupting her. "That's so cute! But wait, what's so bad about that? You told me Tuesday was a total disaster zone!"

Audrey groaned. "It _was_. I haven't told you what I _said_ yet!"

"Uh oh" Dawn said under her breath, but Audrey ignored her.

"I told him I didn't need his help and that just cause I was a girl didn't mean I always needed guys helping me."

Dawn's jaw actually dropped, and she looked about as horrified as Audrey felt.

"_No._" Dawn said.

"_Yes_!" Audrey groaned miserably.

"Why would you do that!?" Dawn screeched, and this time a couple kids sitting in front of them turned around to tell her to shut up.

"I don't know!" Audrey exclaimed, "It was like- I was just so embarrassed and he always makes me so nervous, you know? And I think I just said the very first thing that popped into my head, and I was kind of afraid that he thought I was a stupid little girl who couldn't do anything for herself, and-"

"Oh my gosh!" Dawn interrupted again. "Is this what made your week so bad? When you stopped talkin' to me?"

Audrey nodded, eyes still a little wide from when she had begun to ramble.

"Aw, heck Audrey! I was still a little mad, but I totally forgive you now! Golly, I don't even _know_ how I would react if _I_ had embarrassed myself that much!"

Aside from the fact that Dawn wasn't all that sensitive with her wording, Audrey was extremely relieved to know that things between her and Dawn had gone back to normal.

They spent the next thirty minutes discussing ways that Audrey could apologize to Johnny, only Dawn wasn't being all that serious about it. One of her suggestions was:

"Well, you could just walk right up to him and kiss him. Think he'd get the message pretty quick."

Audrey had vetoed that idea.

In the end, they'd decided that she should just act the way that she felt while she was apologizing: really, honestly, sincerely sorry.

They were just beginning to move on and talk about what was going on in Dawn's life when Bob, Randy, Cherry and Marcia walked by. Dawn started to look a little uncomfortable, and Audrey briefly wondered why before Marcia spotted her and smiled widely.

"Audrey! We didn't know you were here!"

The other three turned around and once they saw her began to huddle around her and Dawn's seats so they could talk.

"Yeah, well, I didn't know you guys were here either. How long have you been here?" Audrey smiled.

"Oh, the whole time." Said Randy, pointing to the front. "We were sittin' up there. Why are y'all all the way back here?"

Audrey thought 'all the way back here' was a bit of an exaggeration. They were only sat in the middle rows, but when she took the time to look around, she realized that she was on a self-imposed Greaser-Soc border, with the Socs at the front and the Greasers at the back. Gee, Tulsa sure was weird. They couldn't even watch a _movie_ without social class being brought into it!

Audrey shrugged at Randy. "Just where we ended up, I guess."

By this point, Bob, Marcia and Cherry had finally noticed Dawn sitting next to Audrey.

"Audrey, who is this?" Cherry asked, not taking her eyes off Dawn.

"Oh, this is my friend, Dawn Brady. We sit with each other in Biology."

Cherry and Marcia nodded, and Randy didn't seem like he'd cared all that much in the first place as he casually threw his arm around Marcia. But Bob still looked a little annoyed with Dawn's presence, and suddenly Audrey noticed the rigidity with which Dawn was sitting. She was quite obviously uncomfortable, and Audrey had to fight the impulse to glare at Bob for making her feel that way. So _what_ if Dawn wasn't a Soc? After high school none of it would matter anyway! The separate classes wouldn't have to mix anymore, so _why_ make such a big deal out of it now?

But mostly what Audrey didn't understand was how someone could possibly be judged based solely on their social class. Weren't they all just people at the end of the day?

They left after a minute to get drinks, though Audrey suspected that they'd come back to sit with them for the rest of the film, and she warned Dawn of this possibility.

"Are you sure you'd be okay with that?" Audrey asked when Dawn indicated it was fine.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'll be okay. Don't worry about it, Audrey." Dawn smiled, but Audrey still thought she looked a little nervous. She didn't have time to say anything else though, because that's when the others came back.

They all had either Coke or Rootbeer, and they tossed Audrey a Rootbeer can, knowing it was her preferred drink. She smiled and thanked them as they settled down next to her, though her smile dimmed when she noticed that Bob and Randy kept turning around to shoot dirty looks at the Greasers behind them. It disappeared completely once she noticed they hadn't bothered to get Dawn a drink.

Audrey felt awkward the whole rest of the movie. Besides Bob and Randy purposefully provoking the Greasers sitting behind them, Audrey was trying to talk to both her Soc friends and her middle-class friend. Once Marcia noticed her plight, she made more of an effort to include Dawn in their conversations, and Cherry quickly followed suit. They were the only two who bothered to even try to talk to Dawn though, and by the end of the movie, Audrey was really, really annoyed with Bob and Randy.

It certainly didn't help matters when the credits started and Dawn quickly said goodbye to Audrey, smiling awkwardly at Cherry and Marcia before practically fleeing. Audrey went to walk with her, but by the time she'd gotten up from her seat, Dawn had already disappeared in the crowd. She was about to go after her anyway to try and find her, when Bob grabbed her arm, turning her towards him.

"Do you wanna catch a ride home with us?" Audrey bit her lip at his question, anxiously turning back to the crowd in the hope that she would see Dawn.

"Come on Audrey." Cherry said once she noticed what Audrey was doing. "She'll be fine. Let us give you a ride home."

In the end, Audrey accepted the ride home, mostly because she thought if Dawn had really wanted to walk with her, then she would have waited until the others had left.

When they got to Bob's mustang some of her irritation melted away when Randy opened the car door for her with a goofy smile.

"Ladies first." He said with a dramatic sweeping gesture that made her laugh. She shouldn't be so annoyed with him. He was a nice guy, really.

It was just as she was getting into the car that she locked eyes with _him_ from across the lot. Her breath hitched in her throat, and her heart immediately started beating faster, those _stupid_ butterflies making their entrance. She felt herself blush and she had to swallow hard because suddenly her mouth had gone dry.

His eyes briefly left her to look slightly to the side of her, and it took Audrey a moment to realize that he was looking at Randy who was still standing next to her and holding the door open. He then looked back at Audrey for a split second before completely turning away.

Audrey's heart plummeted straight to her stomach. She had accepted help from Randy, but when Johnny, the boy that Audrey _actually liked_ had tried to help her, she had treated him like he was nothing more than a piece of dirt on her shoe. He probably

thought that it was because he was a Greaser. After all, she was perceived to be a Soc, and she had let Randy, a fellow Soc, help her when she would not let Johnny do the same.

How could she ever possibly explain that actually, the reason she had acted like a complete loser when he tried to help her was because she _liked_ him, and he made her so nervous it should be illegal? It barely even made _sense_!

Oh, who was she kidding? As if she'd ever have the guts to tell him she liked him.

All of this happened in the space of maybe half a second, and then Audrey was in the car. But as she watched him with his back turned to her through the window and thought about not only how she had embarrassed herself, but also how she had likely embarrassed _him_, she felt her eyes start to sting with tears. She quickly hid behind her hair and blinked them back.

There was absolutely no way she was going to cry in front of Bob Sheldon and Randy Adderson.

When she went to English on Monday, she made sure to be there early. Call her a stalker, but she'd noticed that out of the other three times Johnny had come to class, he was always early. She still wasn't sure what she thought of the fact that he apparently found punctuality more important than attendance.

She bounced nervously on the balls of her feet, and the butterflies were already swarming her stomach, so she didn't want to imagine how bad they'd be if he showed up. She tried to think about something else. Something that didn't make her nervous. Like the poem they were going to write in English today. She already had several ideas for it and-

And Johnny Cade had just walked around the corner.

She didn't know why people said that butterflies fluttered in their stomachs, because to Audrey, this felt more like nausea… but that was beside the point. The _point_ was that for the first time since the disaster that was last Tuesday, Audrey was alone with Johnny. She could _finally_ apologize.

Except, well… he wasn't _looking_ at her. She kept staring at him for a moment, wondering if he would sense her stare and turn towards her. But he didn't. In fact, the more that she stared, the more she began to get the idea that he was purposefully ignoring her.

She bit her lip, wondering what to do, but she finally decided that she needed to buck up and get his attention. The guilt would eat her alive if she didn't apologize soon, and who knew when he'd be coming back to class?

"Johnny." She called. Her voice echoed loudly in the empty hallway and she blushed.

He finally looked at her, his expression totally blank. But it didn't seem to matter to Audrey's feelings. The second that she caught those dark, dark eyes her brain seemed to scramble itself. She suddenly couldn't think of a single thing to say, and she couldn't quite remember why she needed to talk to him in the first place, but she could feel words bubbling up her throat, and Oh God, what was she about to say, she had no idea and-

And she thanked God that when the words _did_ come out, they were the _right_ words.

"I'm sorry!" She blurted loudly, and she realized that her voice sounded a little more desperate than he would probably be expecting. He certainly looked surprised.

"I'm really, really, _really_ sorry! About last Tuesday, you know? I- I just-" She scrambled for an excuse that wasn't 'I like you, and you flip my world upside down'.

"I was having a really bad day, and I guess I just- I just took it out on you and I-" That wasn't really a lie. After that, her day _had_ been pretty awful.

"You were only trying to help me and I-" Oh God, were those tears building up in her eyes? Oh no, oh no, she couldn't cry in front of him, then what would he think of her?

"I was so _terrible_ to you!" She started to sniffle a little bit, and she decided that at this point, it was best to give up any pretence of being tough.

"You must hate me." She ended in a whisper, and cursed herself when a few tears fell. Surely she was being ridiculous. It would probably turn out that while she had been agonizing over this all week, he barely even cared. Why should he? He barely knew her.

There was a very long, very awful silence, during which Audrey bit her lip hard. She strongly suspected that if she hadn't done this, she might have started bawling like a baby.

After a what must have been a couple of minutes, Audrey finally got up the courage to look at him. She was afraid that it was too late, that he had deemed her as just another Soc, that he'd never give her so much as the time of day.

But when she looked up all of her fears melted. He still looked surprised, and Audrey thought that until her apology he probably _had_ written her off as just another Soc. But he also looked more open… she didn't know how to explain it, but there was just something friendlier in the way that he looked at her, the darkness of his eyes seemed warmer somehow, rather than the cold, blank discs they had been before her apology.

He also looked pretty awkward, and Audrey figured that this was because she was crying. He edged a little closer to her, and started to reach out like he wanted to comfort her somehow, but he seemed to think better of touching her and withdrew again. She noticed that he smelled like cigarette smoke and wondered how she hadn't noticed this in class. They sat right next to each other.

"Hey…" He started a little awkwardly, and underneath the Southern drawl, she noticed for the first time that his voice had a raspy quality to it. She could only guess this was because of the smoking. "You, uh… you don't need to cry. I'm not mad." She wished he would keep talking. He was fairly quiet when he spoke, but it didn't matter to her racing heart.

She sniffled a little bit, and tried her best to swallow back the tears. She really wished she'd quit crying. She was making such a fool of herself.

"You're not?" She asked in a small voice.

He shook his head. "Nah. I mean, I guess I was a little bit. But you seem real sorry."

She quickly nodded. "I am. I really, really am."

He smiled a little bit, and she noticed that he kept catching her eye and then looking away, before looking back. It made her smile back at him, and she remembered what Cherry had said:

"_Once you apologize, you'll stop feelin' so bad"_

It was so, so true. For the fist time since last Tuesday, she felt like she could breathe properly, like she could _move on_ with life. It was like she'd had a weight settled on her chest that she hadn't even realized was there until it was lifted, like she'd been frozen in a state of constant guilt until Johnny had smiled at her.

Audrey had definitely stopped feeling so bad, and even as other kids started to line up outside the class, she couldn't stop smiling to herself.


	5. One Step Closer

Chapter 5: One Step Closer

**Disclaimer: Yeah, as if I own The Outsiders. I wish. **

**So Audrey and Johnny finally start interacting on a daily basis, and it's kind of a turning point! Unfortunately, that kind of makes this more of a transitional chapter than anything else, but there's still some pretty important stuff in here. We also start to hear a little bit more about Audrey's ambition to become a dancer, because becoming a ballerina is some pretty heavy-duty business. **

**To my fantabulous reviewers- **

_**jennnaaelizabeth**_**: Thank you- I loved your review :D**

_**Pixie silver**_**: Ah, shoot! Haha, I knew I should of checked that! I'll have to be more careful, cause you're pretty sharp ;) I'm glad you love it! I'm also glad you said she **_**finally **_**apologized :D I was kind of worried that maybe it was actually too fast and I should stretch it out over a couple of chapters, but my story outline said it needed to happen fairly soon… and who am I to argue with the story outline?**

_**Inlove**_**: Thank you :D Weirdly, I've actually found it **_**easier**_** to write about the OC's than the actual characters, even though I had to start from scratch with them and I already had a basic reference for SE Hinton's characters. The Socs in particular are hard, because you don't really see them in a friendly light from Ponyboy's point of view.**

_**LunarLilies**_**: I already PM'd you in response to your question, but I just wanted to thank you for the review :D **

_**Bindiygloa**_**: Thank you! I'm glad you found the class thing funny :D I agree with you, what she said wasn't really that awful, but when you like someone that much without knowing them all that well, you offend them and it's like the world is ending, haha. As far as Johnny not realizing she likes him- the way I see it, Johnny doesn't have all that much self-esteem because of what his parents put him through, and Audrey is not only a Soc, but a pretty girl. In his eyes, why would **_**she**_** like **_**him**_**? I'm afraid poor Johnny is going to need it spelled out to him :P**

_**anna the viking**__**XD**_**: Thanks for reviewing :D Here's your update!**

**Thank you guys for the reviews, follows and favs :D**

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

Almost the minute that Audrey got home from school after cheerleading practice, she raced to her room. Mother didn't seem too pleased when Audrey dumped her school books on the sitting room table before running up the stairs, if the way she called "Audrey, come take these books to your room!" was any indication.

"I will in a minute, mother! I just have to do something first!"

If mother said anything after that, then Audrey didn't hear it because she had already slammed her bedroom door shut. She made a running leap for her bed, and reached wildly for the phone, quickly dialing Dawn's number.

Dawn picked up after the first ring.

"Hello, Brady household, Dawn speaking."

"I apologized!" Audrey practically shouted it down the phone in her excitement, but Dawn didn't seem to care.

"Ooh, how'd it go?"

Audrey had to bite her lip to contain the happy bubble of laughter that wanted to escape.

"Great." She breathed happily into the receiver.

"Aw, c'mon Audrey! Details, please!"

Audrey laughed, and then launched into the story of how she waited for him outside of English, and then how when she showed up, she got all stupid again (Dawn wasn't very sympathetic, she just kept laughing at Audrey) and how she blurted out her apology and started crying.

Dawn _really_ found that funny.

"Oh my gosh, you _cried_?" She asked through her laughter.

Audrey blushed. "Well… yeah."

"I can't believe you actually _cried_!" More laughter. "How did he handle _that_?"

She blushed some more. "He was actually really nice about it, if you must know, and he told me he wasn't mad… well, not anymore, at least."

Dawn still giggled every once in awhile, but for the most part she'd stopped laughing at Audrey. "Well that's good. So what next?"

Audrey paused.

"What do you mean, 'what next'?"

"Well, y'know. You apologized, great. He doesn't think you're an _arrogant_ Soc anymore. You're still a Soc. So how are ya gonna talk to him? He's a Greaser, Audrey."

Audrey's happiness fled as suddenly as it came. What _was_ she going to do next? Tulsa was so weird about the Greasers and the Socs, and Johnny had grown up in Tulsa. Why would he _want_ to talk to her? Dawn was right- just because she was no longer an arrogant Soc didn't mean he had stopped seeing her as a Soc.

Audrey silently griped to herself. Why did Tulsa have to be so _weird_? She liked a boy, and it already felt a little bit like the be all, end all, so why did she have to be in a position where it was even _harder_ to talk to him!? Good Lord, they were all just _people_! Plain ordinary _people_!

They were all just people.

Audrey suddenly gasped and sat up.

"What? What is it?" Dawn asked. "Did something happen? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Audrey said absent-mindedly into the phone. "I just thought of something."

The problem was that while Audrey didn't look at Johnny as a Greaser, but rather as a person, Johnny still most likely saw her as a Soc. She needed to make him see her as a _person_. The only way that she could think to do would be to talk to him, so they could get to know each other…

"Well, anytime you wanna share is just _fine_…" Dawn drawled sarcastically.

Audrey hesitated. She hadn't talked to him a whole lot, but from what she'd observed, she normally ended up embarrassing herself. Did she really want to keep putting herself through that?

"I need to talk to him." Audrey decided. "That's what's next. Talking to him. So that he'll stop seeing me as a Soc and start seeing me as a person instead."

The line went quiet for a minute, and Audrey felt sure that Dawn was going to tell her that it was a stupid idea.

"So… you're gonna be his friend, basically?"

Audrey could only _hope_ he'd pay that much attention to her.

"Well, I'm going to try, anyway." Audrey confirmed.

"So you're gonna be his friend… and then… once he starts to see you as a person or whatever you said, he'll… what? Start to like you?"

Hopefully.

"That's the plan, yeah…" Audrey said uncertainly, still not sure whether Dawn thought this was a good idea or not.

"Cool!" Dawn said, and the sudden perkiness of it startled Audrey, who had been sure that Dawn was about to tell her she was an idiot.

"We can call it OBJC." Dawn continued.

"Um… what?" asked Audrey, bewildered.

"Y'know. For 'Operation Befriend Johnny Cade'?"

Audrey blinked. "Oh. Right… I didn't realize we had to call it anything…"

"All plans need a name!" Dawn sounded scandalized, and Audrey decided to save herself a lot of trouble and just let Dawn call it whatever she wanted to.

Dawn started to come up with all kinds of different ways to 'befriend' Johnny Cade, but Audrey started to tune her out when one of her suggestions was to lock them in the janitor's closet until Johnny realized he was madly in love with Audrey. After firmly saying 'no' to that idea, she let her mind drift.

She supposed that even if Johnny didn't, to use Dawn's words, realize he was madly in love with her, Audrey would be happy if she just managed to become his friend. It was certainly more than she had now…

"-and then I'd lock you two in the closet-" Audrey quickly snapped back to reality after hearing those words.

"What? I said no to the closet!"

"That was the _janitor's _closet. This is your _bedroom _closet!"

"What's he going to be doing in my bedroom in the first place, Dawn!?"

"Ugh, you weren't listening to me _at all_, were you!?"

Audrey sighed loudly, making sure the receiver caught it so that Dawn would know she was getting annoyed. "Okay, for future reference- no closets. Ever. Of any kind. Got it?"

Dawn was quiet for a minute.

"That means I have no ideas!" She finally whined, and Audrey snorted at her.

"Listen, Dawn. Thanks for the help, but really, I think I'm just going to start out by talking to him in English and see how it goes from there, alright?"

She heard Dawn sigh, before she said "Alright, fine. But if you ever think you need a closet-"

"I won't." Audrey quickly interrupted her, blushing as she thought about what Dawn probably wanted them to do in the closet.

"Okay-" Dawn started, but got interrupted when Audrey dropped the phone in surprise as her door slammed open, the doorknob hitting the wall loudly. She quickly turned to face the angry form of her mother in the doorway.

"Audrey Grace Miller, you told me thirty-five minutes ago that you were going to bring your books up from the sitting room 'in a minute'. You're thirty-four minutes overdue, now get downstairs and get your books! You can't just leave your things wherever you feel like, be responsible and put them where they belong!"

Audrey winced. "Sorry mother, just let me say goodbye to Dawn-"

"I'll explain to Dawn why you've left, now go get your books."

"That's okay, Mrs. Miller!" They heard Dawn's muffled voice shout through the receiver. "I heard the whole thing! I'll just go now…"

Audrey groaned in embarrassment and hung up the phone before going downstairs to get the books.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

Audrey was relieved when Johnny was in school the next day, and she put, as Dawn called it, Operation Befriend Johnny Cade, into action. She was beyond ecstatic when it looked like it was starting to work.

It started when she walked past him in the hall on Tuesday morning, and she smiled at him. He looked a little confused, and sent several glances around himself, as though he was trying to figure out who she was smiling at. By the time he figured it out, they had already passed each other.

She noticed the next time she smiled at him though, he was prepared, and smiled back almost immediately, though it was much smaller than hers. But then, she'd already noticed that he didn't smile a whole lot anyway. She was just happy that every time she smiled at him over the next two weeks, he always smiled back.

She also started making it a point to talk to him in English. In the beginning, though he hadn't ignored her, their conversations were awkward, mostly because he still seemed confused that she was talking to him. It also didn't help that in the beginning, Audrey had no idea what to say to him, which was pretty bad, since she was the one initiating all these conversations. So they normally ended up sounding something like this:

"So, what do you think of 'Leave it to Beaver?'"

"Uh… S'alright, I guess."

"Oh… well I like Wally. He's my favorite."

"That's neat."

Which was pretty embarrassing. Just because she wanted to try being friends with him didn't mean her feelings went away. Far from it, in fact, she now had even more trouble controlling the desire to be close to him. It really, _really_ didn't help when she noticed that under the smell of cigarettes, he smelled like freshly mowed grass, which was just about her favorite scent in the whole world.

Finally though, she decided that enough was enough and started to think of the reasons behind _why_ it was so hard to talk to him. She came to a conclusion pretty quick. It was because she liked him, which seemed to be the reason behind a lot of things these days, but she had already known that, of course, so she had trouble deciding on a course of action from there.

One night in the middle of the first week though, it dawned on her that while she wasn't seeing him as a Greaser, she wasn't quite seeing him as another person, like she thought she was.

She was seeing him as the boy she liked.

After she realized that, she had gone into school the next day with the mind-set that he was just another person waiting to be befriended. She decided that if she wanted him to get to know her, she needed to treat him like it, instead of asking vague, safe questions like 'What do you think of 'Leave It to Beaver'?'

Their next conversation went more like this:

"What do you want to do after high school?"

"Dunno. Not much _to_ do. Figure I'll just stay here and get a job."

"Don't you want to leave Tulsa? There's a whole world out there!"

"Don't really got the money to leave, do I?"

"Oh… well I think I want to be a dancer."

"A dancer? You dance?"

"Yeah. Ballet. I want to go to Juilliard, you know, in New York. I'm hoping a company will pick me up after that and I can eventually make a name for myself. I'm already starting to look for shows around here I can audition for so that I can add them to my application. I was in loads of productions back where I used to live."

"Wow, that's pretty neat. So I guess you must be real good then? At dancin'? I mean, if you wanna go to a fancy dance school then ya gotta be good."

"Well, _I_ like to think I'm good. My mother was a dancer. She was really famous up in Seattle, where we lived before moving here. Well, until she had me, anyway. She quit dancing professionally after that, but she teaches and I take my classes from her."

"Well that sounds like a good deal then, don't it?"

Needless to say, after that, their whispered conversations in the back of their English classroom began to flow much more smoothly. The weird thing was, once she decided that she wasn't going to be awkward and nervous anymore, she stopped acting that way. Oh, he still made her more nervous than she'd ever been in her entire life, her heart still seemed to jump into her throat every time she heard his voice and her breath still hitched when she saw him. She just began to be able to function through her feelings, rather than letting them control her.

After awhile, she came to the realization that during those next two weeks, after they started talking, he was in school for all but two days, when the two weeks before that, he had only attended three. For a few minutes, she let herself fantasize that this was because he enjoyed her company and wanted to see more of her, though she eventually dismissed this idea as egotistical.

She still initiated about 99% of their conversations, but she quickly learned not to take it personally, because the more she talked to him, the more she came to realize that he was pretty shy. Sometimes they didn't even talk about all that much at all, just general chatter, and sometimes their conversations were lesson-based. It didn't take Audrey long to realize that while she was better at grammar, spelling and syntax, Johnny was by far better at making insightful comments, and as a result, they often teamed up to do their work.

It took her a couple of days, but she finally noticed that even as he was talking to her, his almost black eyes would be darting suspiciously around the other kids in the room, and Audrey soon realized that he didn't want them to see them talking. At first she was a little bit hurt and offended, but then she noticed that he didn't seem to care about what the middle-class kids thought, only the other Socs in the lesson.

She began to wonder why he would care what they thought. Johnny Cade didn't seem like the kind of guy who cared a whole lot what other people thought, especially a bunch of Socs. It made her wonder how serious this ridiculous class war Tulsa had going on was. Would Johnny face ramifications for talking to her?

After that, she made it a point to not speak to him outside of English. As ridiculous as _she_ thought the Soc/Greaser feud was, she was aware of the fact that people here took it seriously, and she was beginning to suspect that the Socs might take action against Johnny if he was caught speaking to her. She didn't want to be outright unfriendly though, so she still made sure to smile at him whenever she saw him. She figured this wouldn't be too suspicious. She had already gotten a reputation around school for being friendly to just about everybody.

Although there was this one time when she smiled and waved at him while on her way to Social Studies. He had given her a small smile and a nod back that, as his smiles always did, seemed to make her insides melt.

That's when she noticed that Two-Bit Mathews was standing next to him, grey eyes sparkling mischievously as he sent a wicked smile and started nudging Johnny. As she walked past, she heard Two-Bit saying "Aw, Johnny's growin' up so fast! He's got himself a little girlfriend!" to which Johnny had replied in an embarrassed sounding whisper "Shut up, Two-Bit, she ain't my girlfriend!"

Ever since then, when Audrey walked past Two-Bit Mathews in the hallways he'd wink at her and wolf-whistle. It was behavior that she'd normally find annoying, but Two-Bit just always looked like he was having so much fun, and she always ended up just grinning and laughing at that trouble-maker smile.

Ending a little less happily was the time she'd noticed Johnny and smiled while on her way to lunch with Debbie West and Peggy Montgomery. Peggy had turned to her with an almost horrified look on her face and said "Audrey, did you just _smile_ at that _Greaser_?" Audrey just shrugged, replying that she smiled at everybody while Debbie eyed her out of the corner of her whisky-colored eyes, raising an eyebrow with the look of absolute disapproval written on her face.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

The day after that, it was a hot, hot day in mid-September, with the thermometer pushing ninety, though it _had _been dropping down to the eighties and seventies recently. She was in Cherry's room, though she'd have to go home in about a half hour. Now that mother's ballet classes had been filled, Audrey's lesson times had regulated to starting at 5:00 and lasting to 6:30 every day except for Sundays. Of course, that was just Audrey, because she wanted to dance professionally. Most of the other girls only had lessons twice a week, meaning mother had three classes. One for Mondays and Fridays, one for Tuesdays and Thursdays and one for Wednesdays and Saturdays. And Audrey was a member of all three classes, plus she practiced on Sundays. When it was taken into consideration that she'd followed this same schedule in Seattle, it became apparent that Audrey had danced almost every single day of her life since she was three years old.

She loved dancing, though she did get annoyed on days that she also had cheerleading, because she didn't end up getting home until around 4:00, meaning that she only had about an hour of free time _before_ dance and _after_ dance was reserved for dinner and homework. Normally by the time she finished, it was 9:30 or 10:00. Because of the fact that she was a dancer, she needed to be in good physical condition, meaning that for a good amount of sleep, that was normally about when she went to bed.

She marveled that she had a social life.

"So Peggy says that you're friendly with a Greaser?" Cherry suddenly spoke from her position bent over Audrey's fingernails. Audrey had already painted Cherry's nails pink, and now she was getting her own nails painted a bright red.

Cherry had obviously been trying not to make a big deal out of it, but Audrey understood that her tone was _too_ casual.

Audrey instantly felt irritation flare up within her. Why was Peggy even telling Cherry about that!? All she'd done (so far as Peggy knew) was smile at him! How was that worth being a tattle-tale? She was irritated with Cherry too. He had a _name_.

"Yeah, I talk to _Johnny Cade_ in English. Why?"

Cherry paused for a moment, her light green eyes flicking up to meet Audrey's before she returned to the nail polish.

"Are you sure that's all it is?" Again, her tone was just a little _too_ light.

"Yes." Audrey answered shortly because, honestly, what business was it of Cherry Valance anyway?

Cherry must have realized she was annoying Audrey because she quit painting her nails in order to sit up and look at her.

"Look, Audrey, I know you must think I'm bein' snobby, but I'm really not! I'm only worried about you, is all. I don't mind the Greasers, not really, so long as they mind their own business and leave me alone, but Audrey, you gotta think about your reputation!"

Audrey held eye-contact with Cherry for a moment, and thought about how hard life must be, when you were constantly concerned with something so easily changed as a _reputation_.

"Yeah, alright." Audrey agreed, just so Cherry would stop bothering her, but Cherry seemed satisfied and went back to painting Audrey's nails.

As Audrey watched the pretty red of Cherry's hair gleam copper in the afternoon sunlight, she decided she felt sorry for Cherry.


	6. Darling, Don't be Afraid

Chapter 6: Darling, Don't be Afraid

**Disclaimer: Still not mine. D':**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU GUYS! Or if you don't celebrate Christmas then Happy Holidays in general :D**

**Okay, I've gotten this question a couple of times now, so about the timeline- This story is about a year-ish before the book timeline. Right now in the story, as said in the last chapter we're kind of in mid-September, so still kind of far ahead of the book. But Johnny gets jumped in what I'm pretty sure is spring and then everything that went down in the book happened four months later? I put the jumping around Johnny's birthday, which is listed in the Outsiders wiki as March, so four months later is obviously July, which, unfortunately, puts the deaths of Mr. and Mrs. Curtis in November, eight months before the book timeline, although it's been several years since I read the book, so if there's something wrong with that timeline don't feel shy about telling me. So, yes, this does take us through the book timeline, though Audrey being there changes some things, but the further we get into the story, the more familiar things will start to look.**

**We see a little bit more of the gang in this chapter, or really, more like Steve and Two-Bit, but the gang doesn't start to get **_**really**_** involved for a few more chapters unfortunately :'( Mostly because I'm trying to make Audrey's integration realistic. **

**To my reviewers- **

_**Stay-Real-Stay-Gold**_**: I believe I just answered your question above. As for the OC comment, thank you! I usually find it very hard to like OC's as well. I first thought up this story about a month ago, and I've spent most of my time since just trying to make Audrey relatable. That's also why my summary is, to use your words, 'really good' (thanks again!)- I knew people were iffy about OC's, so I figured I'd better make that summary pretty interesting :D **

_**Guest**_**: I sure hope nobody else posts as 'guest' on this chapter, or we might get confused :P Thank you, I am so beyond flattered :D I've worked pretty hard to get where I am grammatically. Haha, Johnny is my favorite character- I didn't even consider writing a story for anyone else :D About his characterization: thank you! I always freak out right before I post and re-read his parts about ten billion times to make sure I'm not screwing him up, haha! Don't apologize for rambling! As you can plainly see by this massive response, I do it too :D**

_**Wow**_**: Love the name :D Thank you so much for the nice things you said :D The gang are still kind of on the side lines for now, but in a few chapters' time they'll start to play a bigger role. Funnily enough, my story drives me crazy too, because in my head, I already know everything that happens, so it's like I'll be thinking about stuff that happens in chapter 18, but I'm still writing chapter 7, if that makes sense, haha! **

_**jennnaaelizabeth**_**: Yep, though such is the life of a Soc with a massive crush on a Greaser :P**

_**Pixie silver**_**: Thank you! Lol, I hope you like what comes next as much as I do :D**

_**anna the viking XD**_**: Don't apologize, I'm just happy you're so passionate about my story, lol. Yeah, Audrey doesn't get it either. Don't get **_**too**_** mad at Cherry, though, she gets better as the story goes on. **

_**Reverence of the Night Rain**_**: Oh wow, what a cool penname! Thank you very much, Johnny is my favorite too :D Lol, yeah, I actually almost cut the part with Two-Bit cause I wasn't sure about it, but I eventually decided I liked it, so I'm glad you did too :D **

**As always, thank you for the reviews, favs and follows- you guys are awesome :D**

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

That weekend, daddy had some free time, so he'd taken her to an empty parking lot on the outskirts of Tulsa, and started to teach her the basics of driving. Audrey was just relieved that it wasn't mother teaching her. It'd be like having one-to-one dance lessons all over again. In any case, daddy was much more patient than mother.

He didn't even look angry when the car jolted forward as much as five feet before Audrey finally found the brake pedal in her panic. Though he did look a little wide-eyed. After that, Audrey made sure that she always had a foot on the brake.

They would have been able to spend more time on the impromptu driving lesson if it hadn't been for the fact that they'd promised to visit Papa this weekend. They'd been putting it off ever since they moved to Tulsa, and mother and daddy had finally run out of excuses not to go. Audrey didn't really understand why they were trying to avoid going in the first place. Daddy was always saying how guilty he felt for not visiting Papa more often, especially since Grandma's death four years ago. You would of thought that if he'd felt guilty, he would have spent more time in Tulsa after Grandma's death. As it was, daddy had only spent one day in Tulsa for the funeral, before returning to Seattle, where mother and Audrey had stayed.

Somehow, it was only recently that Audrey had come to find her parents' blatant avoidance of Tulsa throughout her life strange. She figured that Mr. Valance must have been really, really, _really_ desperate for help with the lawsuit if he'd managed to get the Miller family in Tulsa for such an extended period of time.

Though perhaps Audrey couldn't blame daddy for not wanting to see Papa all that often. Their current visit included, Audrey had only seen him a total of three times in her whole life, the two previous times being when he visited them in Washington. Still, it only took three visits to realize that Papa was a little strange. Like when they came into Papa's house, he had looked Audrey up and down and gave her a grim little smile, saying

"You look mighty like your mama. Good thing too- don't know what we woulda done if you'd looked like your daddy…"

Audrey hardly ever understood his jokes, and this one was no exception. Daddy was quite handsome. Apparently mother and daddy weren't all that amused either because they both looked at Papa with 'shut up' glares on their faces.

The rest of the visit was awkward, especially as Papa kept getting daddy's childhood stories mixed up with Brian's childhood stories. Brian was daddy's brother, though he'd died young in a car accident when daddy was ten. Daddy didn't like to talk about Brian all that much, because he usually cried when he did, and so even though Audrey had long forgotten how old Brian was when he died, she'd never asked. In any case, daddy had to keep saying to Papa in a far-away, wistful tone 'No dad, that was Brian'

Mother and Audrey didn't speak much during that visit, and for once in her life, when mother suggested waiting in the car while daddy helped Papa with something before they left, Audrey was only too happy to join her.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

On Monday, Audrey sat whispering to Dawn in Biology about what Cherry had said.

"-so then she says 'You've got to think about your reputation Audrey', as if being friends with Johnny is a crime."

Audrey completely expected Dawn to be just as indignant, so she was surprised when she was met with silence. Dawn was chewing her lip and looking at Audrey anxiously.

"Oh my God." Audrey said incredulously. "You can't tell me you _agree_ with her! You've been encouraging this whole thing! You even came up with a _name_ for it!"

"No! Of course I don't agree with her! Well, I mean, not completely anyway. What I mean is… well you _do_ need to think about your reputation, don't ya?"

Audrey's jaw actually dropped.

"No, wait, that came out badly." Dawn said. "What I meant was- gosh Audrey, it's hard to explain. I hadn't really ever thought of it before, but in a way Cherry's kinda right. I don't mean it the way she means it though! I think it's really great that you like Johnny and you aren't afraid to go after him. But… you need to think about how much your reputation means to you. Because if it means more to you than Johnny does… it's not fair to go stringing the poor boy along, makin' him think you like him only to pull the rug out from under him, y'know? So, I guess what I'm sayin' is… make sure you've got your priorities straight, okay?"

That was actually a very good point, Audrey thought. But she didn't need to debate what her priorities were. She knew what they were. She had ever since she saw him that first day in English, back when she barely even knew what a Soc was, or why she was being called one. She cared about Johnny more. She wanted Johnny more.

She had never cared about being a Soc. It wasn't something she had chosen, something she had wanted. It was something that had been forced on her by everyone else. She came from money, she lived on the 'right' side of town, and that, combined with the people she socialized with and the clothes she wore, had made the decision for her, before she even knew that a decision was being made. It wasn't that she resented being a Soc, she had already observed that the title could take you a long way, and she understood how useful that could be. But it didn't hold the same importance for her that it did everybody else in this town.

She had never cared about being a Soc, and she still didn't. Despite what everyone else thought, she was just plain old Audrey Miller.

"It doesn't mean anything to me." She whispered to Dawn.

Slowly, Dawn began to smile at her. "So… OBJC is still in action?"

Audrey smiled back.

"Definitely."

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

Later, at lunch, when Bob, Randy and Dale joined the rest of them, they brought a new boy along. Audrey had seen him occasionally in the halls between classes, though she'd never spoken to him before. Mostly though, the reason that Audrey knew of David Masters was because she'd heard Danny and Kenny talking about how he was _really_ a middle-classer, even though he was trying to act like a Soc now. The only reason he got away with this was because his mother had just married into an extremely rich family only a few weeks ago.

She didn't really quite understand what they meant by the fact that David was trying to act like a Soc at first. After all, Audrey hadn't started acting any differently when she'd started hanging out with Cherry. As far as she understood, there wasn't any particular behavior to it. It was a social class.

She had gotten it a couple of days ago though, when she noticed how David had suddenly stopped talking to anyone who wasn't a Soc. The middle-class kids were totally ignored, even ones he used to be friends with, and if he happened to cross paths with a Greaser, he immediately put up the image of a tough guy and began to provoke the Greaser. Audrey had shaken her head when she'd seen this behavior. David, in an attempt to fit himself into his new social class, was not only trying too hard, but was also becoming one of the most annoying types of people:

Fake.

The _only_ thing even _slightly_ resembling respect that Audrey could _possibly_ give to Bob and Randy when they deliberately provoked Greasers, was that they _genuinely_ thought that all Greasers were bad news, though if they were better people they'd make an attempt to get to know them, rather than judging them right off the bat. David, coming from a middle-class background, most probably _knew_, the same way that Audrey knew, that most Greasers were pretty much just like everybody else. Some were good, and some were bad. The fact that he pretended to be somebody he wasn't, even at the expense of ignoring people who used to be his friends, irritated Audrey beyond belief.

The worst of it was, it didn't even matter. Even in five, ten, _twenty_ years time, all these Socs still wouldn't think of him as a Soc. They'd think of him as 'that guy that used to be middle-class'.

It was strange, wasn't it? How a good reputation could be so easily changed, but a bad reputation could never really be escaped.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

It was that day during English that Audrey noticed the bruises around his wrists.

The cuffs of his jean jacket had been hiding them, but when he'd had to reach for the pencil he dropped on the floor, they rode up his arm, and she had noticed some very faint, but nevertheless very real bruising.

She must have gasped, or made some indication of surprise, or shock, because he'd looked up at her, and when he noticed what she was looking at, he quickly snatched the pencil off the ground before hurriedly hiding them back under his jacket.

She continued to stare wide-eyed at him for a moment. A moment during which he kept his gaze steadily towards the front of the classroom. Finally she asked him,

"Where did you get those?"

He very briefly looked at her out of the corner of his eye before looking back to the front. He shrugged.

"Nowhere. Just got in a fight, s'all."

Audrey decided she didn't believe him. He'd told her before, about how sometimes the Greasers got in fights, either with other gangs or with the Socs. The last point Audrey had been particularly displeased to hear, though she hadn't said anything. She had seen plenty of those cuts and bruises. He wasn't secretive about those injuries. Not that he really could be, as they were normally on his face. More than once he'd come to school with a bruised cheek and a split lip. Once, he'd even come in with a black eye.

But it just seemed a strange place to Audrey, in a fight like that- the wrists. She could see someone blocking a punch, but who would have gotten the opportunity to grab not one, but _both_ of his wrists? It seemed less to Audrey like an impersonal hit, like one would expect in any regular old fight, and more like an angry action.

"…Are you sure?" She pressed.

He nodded sharply, still not looking at her. That was another thing. If it was just any regular old fight, then why did he seem so ashamed of it? She didn't know where he'd gotten those bruises, she didn't even know where to begin to wonder where he had gotten them, but something told her that she was being lied to.

"Johnny… you know you can- that you can tell me things, right? I won't judge you."

The second she said the words she felt stupid. They barely spoke outside of English. Why would he feel like he could talk to her about personal things?

He looked surprised at her statement, and finally turned to look at her. His eyes lingered on her face for several moments during which Audrey's stomach flipped nervously, but eventually he nodded at her.

"Yeah, I know you ain't gonna judge me, Audrey." He said softly, turning back to the front of the class. And though he still didn't tell her where the bruises were from, Audrey felt a happy bubble of warmth in her, that he trusted her not to judge him. Surely that meant that he didn't just see her as any other Soc anymore, right? That he was starting to see her as Audrey?

She decided that since he so obviously didn't want to talk about the bruises, it would be best if she stopped pushing him, and she changed the subject.

"You remember how I was telling you that I was looking for shows to audition in?"

He nodded as they started copying notes from the board.

"I went to one last Friday, after school."

He looked slightly more interested now.

"For 'The Nutcracker'. You know, a Christmas show." She clarified.

"A Christmas show?" He asked. "It's September."

Audrey laughed a little bit. "Yeah. Do you know how much practice goes into these shows?"

"Oh. Right." He said, sounding a little embarrassed.

Audrey decided to move on and save him from his embarrassment. "It's only a small local production, so it won't be as fancy as the ones some companies put on at Christmas, but it's better than nothing. Besides, 'The Nutcracker' is becoming a really popular ballet performance. I bet it'll look impressive on applications, even if it's not as professional as a lot of other ones."

He nodded again, smiling a little bit at her. "Yeah, that sounds real cool. D'ya know when you're gonna be performin'?"

Audrey blushed a bit, realizing he thought she'd already gotten a part.

"Oh, uh, no. I mean, I haven't been selected yet. They're still going to be auditioning for the next week."

"Oh right." He said, turning a bit to look at her more fully. "Well, tell me if you get it, alright?"

Audrey beamed at him, nodding quickly. "Yeah, sure thing!" She whispered, pleased that he seemed interested in her life.

She almost asked him if he would come watch her dance, if she was given a part, but she chickened out at the last minute. After all, why would a guy like Johnny Cade want to go see a ballet?

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

_It_ happened that Wednesday.

She was already late for school because Bob's car had broken down the other day and was down at a place called the DX for repairs. Bob seemed to have some kind of chip on his shoulder about leaving his Mustang at the DX, but she had been talking to Marcia at the time, so she didn't really know what his problem was. In any case, she'd had to get a ride from daddy and her schedule had been messed up.

So she was walking through the empty hallway on her way to Social Studies when she heard voices echoing around the corner.

"Fuck Johnny, why'd ya even come in today? Thought ya would've at least cleaned up a little if you were gonna come to school!"

"I did, but the bleedin' started again!"

"Christ, Two-Bit, we gotta get him to Mrs. Curtis."

Audrey froze for a moment. Bleeding? Johnny was bleeding? Audrey immediately felt concern well up in her. She hoped he was okay. But why were they going to take him to who she could only assume was Sodapop Curtis' mother when they could just take him to the school nurse?

She was forced to unfreeze when three boys came around the corner. Two-Bit Mathews kept leaning over to look at Johnny's face, who was between him and Steve Randle. Audrey gasped when she saw Johnny though. He had blood dribbling down his face from his nose, which she guessed had been punched. He also had a pretty scary looking split lip, and a bruise was forming just under his right eye.

Johnny and Steve stopped walking when they saw Audrey standing in the middle of the hallway, and after Two-Bit noticed, he turned away from Johnny's face to see what they were looking at.

Steve scowled, most likely because of her standard knee-length skirt, white blouse and sweater. With her hair pulled back with a headband, she looked like the Soc she had been labeled as.

"Audrey, what are you doin' here? You're supposed to be in lesson." Johnny said, his voice muffled because of the hand he had on his face trying to cover up the blood.

"I was running late." Audrey replied as Steve stared incredulously at Johnny, supposedly for being on a first-name basis with a Soc. "Johnny, what happened? Are you okay?"

Two-Bit looked a little uneasy with her presence as well, though nowhere near as cold as Steve Randle, and Audrey realized that just because they were friendly in the hallways didn't mean that he knew her, or in any way trusted her.

"Aw, he's fine." Two-Bit said. "You just get on to your lesson, ya hear? We'll take care of Johnnycakes."

At any other time, Audrey would have found the name 'Johnnycakes' adorable, but right now, he had blood all over his face.

"He doesn't _look_ fine." Audrey pointed out.

"I'm okay, Audrey." Johnny said. "Two-Bit and Steve are gonna take care of me. I'll be in English later, alright? Go to class, 'fore ya get in trouble."

"Why don't you just go to the nurse?" Audrey asked, ignoring the demands for her to go to Social Studies.

Steve had finally become impatient with it all. "He ain't goin' to the damn nurse. C'mon Johnny, let's go."

The three of them started walking again, and before Audrey knew what she was doing, she'd blurted words out.

"You know Johnny, I can take care of that for you, if you don't want to go to the nurse. You don't have to go all the way to the Curtis'."

They stopped walking again and Steve glared at her. "Why don't ya just mind your own business. We don't need your help. You're a _Soc_."

Audrey wasn't really sure how she was supposed to respond to that. It seemed a little personal to tell him exactly what she thought of the class divide in Tulsa.

Finally she settled on saying "And you're a Greaser" in an 'I don't care' tone, before approaching Johnny and beginning to lead him towards the bathrooms.

Steve started to say something, probably wanting her to go away again, but Two-Bit had apparently decided that she was okay to have around if she was going to help, because he said "Steve, shut up, man! You really wanna make him go all the way to the Curtis' like that when someone here wants to help?"

There was some grumbling after that, but Audrey didn't hear anything else until they got to the bathrooms and Audrey started to pull Johnny into the girls'. All three boys immediately pulled back.

"We ain't goin' in the girls' bathroom." Steve said, like she was stupid.

She responded to him in a similar tone. "Well, _I_ can't go in the boys' bathroom!"

There was a small squabble over this until Audrey finally noticed the staff bathroom across the hall and they went in there instead. She pulled down the lid and gently took Johnny's shoulders, guiding him to sit on the toilet lid while she wet some toilet paper under the sink to clean the blood off with. Steve and Two-Bit hovered a bit in the doorway, and Audrey thought they probably sensed they weren't needed anymore, but didn't want to leave Johnny alone with Audrey.

"So what happened anyway?" Audrey asked as she gently started to clean the blood from under his nose. "Did you get in a fight?"

Steve snorted from the doorway, saying under his breath "Oh yeah, his old man was real mad, alright!" Audrey had obviously not been meant to overhear this, but Steve hadn't accounted for the way his words would echo on the tiles. Audrey stilled, shocked and horrified.

"Oh- Johnny- Sorry, man-" Steve started once he realized that Audrey had heard, but Johnny, looking really embarrassed and a little bit annoyed, interrupted him.

"It's alright. You guys can go now, I'm fine. I know her."

They still looked a little unsure, but they eventually left. Audrey faintly heard Two-Bit say to Steve "You're a damn retard, y'know that?"

Audrey took a deep breath and knelt down in front of Johnny so that he'd have to look at her. She held eye-contact for a moment before saying

"Johnny… your _dad_ did this to you?"

He avoided her eyes while he nodded, completely silent.

She couldn't help it. Tears welled up in her eyes. She bit her lip to try to stop from crying, but it didn't help. Gosh, why was she always _crying_ in front of this boy?

She couldn't help but think how awful his home life must be, with an abusive dad. How unwanted Johnny must feel. The first tear fell. Then another. And another. Good Lord, she'd thought _she_ had it bad because her parents didn't get along and her mother wasn't the perfect, loving mother she always saw on television! But now that she knew what _Johnny_ had to deal with, all of her problems seemed petty and insignificant.

She sniffled a little and he looked at her. He immediately looked awkward and uncomfortable, once he saw she was crying.

"Aw, Audrey… don't cry. It ain't that bad, I'm used to it."

A sob escaped her and he looked startled. Didn't he see how much _worse_ that made it!?

Before she had time to think about what she was doing she had him wrapped up in a tight hug.

"Johnny, _nobody_ should be hitting you, _ever_. Even if it's just in an ordinary fight. You're too good for all of that." She whispered, believing it wholeheartedly. Over the past few weeks, she'd come to know Johnny as kind and shy and sensitive. Why would anybody want to hurt Johnny? He didn't deserve _any_ of this.

She sniffled a little bit more and pulled back. She suddenly realized from the way his arms were raised that he'd been about to hug her back, and she wished she hadn't pulled away so quickly.

"Thanks." He whispered to her when she caught his eye, and she smiled shakily at him.

She finished cleaning him up, and they went their separate ways a few minutes later, but Johnny Cade was on her mind the whole rest of the day.


	7. All Along, I Believed

Chapter 7: All Along, I Believed

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders, The Nutcracker, or the song A Thousand Years… Should've said some of this stuff earlier… :/ **

**Just wanted to let you guys know, I'm thinking about doing a scene in the next chapter from Johnny's POV, but I'm not sure, so let me know what you think about that. **

**To my reviewers-**

_**Pixie silver**_**: Thank you, I was a little nervous about that scene. Yeah, the Christmas cheer made me want to put Audrey in 'The Nutcracker' and I realized if I wanted it to be even somewhat realistic, she'd have to start practicing now, lol**

_**Wow**_**: You're welcome. Thank you, you flatter me :D Yep, things develop a little more now that Audrey knows, so you know, great for the plot, lol. Yeah, I hate thinking about Johnny's home life. **

_**Miss Avenger**_**: Yay, I'm so happy you loved it! Here's your update, as you can plainly see, lol :D**

_**Smiles436**_**: Aw, your penname makes you sound like such a nice person, and you say such nice things to me about my fanfiction :D You certainly make me smile! Yes, yes, I too was excited about the development, but your review just made me excited all over again!**

_**anna the viking XD**_**: Lol, Merry late Christmas, and thanks for the review!**

**Sorry this isn't as long as some of my other chapters. I ended up cutting a scene because it wasn't really needed until later, and I couldn't think of anything to put in here that wouldn't screw up chapter 8 :/**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, fav'd and followed, and really, even if you're just a reader, thank you! Although I won't complain if you review, lol!**

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

After school that day, Audrey had walked home with Dawn. Dawn's house was very nice. It was a lot smaller than Audrey's, but it had a far homier feel to it that Audrey was envious of. There was just something about the houses of happy families that gave off a sense of atmosphere that, no matter how much mother may try, she could never emulate in their own home.

They had gone up to Dawn's room after saying hello to Mrs. Brady, who shared her daughter's dark hair and hazel eyes, though other than that they seemed to share very little physically, so Audrey assumed that Dawn looked like her father. After closing the door, Dawn had collapsed onto her bed, and after Audrey placed her books on the desk, she quickly followed suit.

"You seemed distracted today." Dawn said, turning her face to Audrey.

Audrey nodded, biting her lip.

"Anything you wanna tell me?" she asked.

That was what Audrey wasn't sure about. All she'd been able to think about all day was what she'd learned that morning, about how Johnny's dad hit him. It had consumed her every thought, and she'd spent all day on autopilot. She hated what Johnny had to go through at home. She had to avoid thinking about how Johnny must feel, and instead focus on the general situation, because every time she thought about how terrible it must make Johnny feel, she started to cry again.

Did she want to tell Dawn? Or, even better, an adult? Someone who could _stop it_?

The answer was overwhelmingly yes. She wanted to do whatever it took to protect Johnny from that. He had spent fifteen years in that house, hadn't he suffered enough? Wasn't it time to get him out?

The answer was yes, but every time she had entertained the idea of telling a teacher, or someone in a position of authority, something held her back. At first it was the thought that Johnny obviously didn't want anyone to know. He hadn't looked too happy with Steve when he'd let it slip to Audrey, and she didn't want him to be disappointed in her. Then she'd realized how stupid that was. If it meant that he wasn't being hurt anymore, then he could be as disappointed in her as he wanted to be. She cared about him enough to let him be mad at her, if it was best for him. And then she thought that maybe if social workers took Johnny away, what if they took him far away and Audrey never saw him again? But then she realized she was being selfish again. Just as she decided that she _was_ going to tell someone, she had the awful thought that maybe it wouldn't make things any better. Maybe it would just make them worse. Maybe the care system wouldn't be able to find enough evidence to take Johnny away, and then his dad would know that Johnny had told someone.

What if she just made things _worse_?

She couldn't bear the thought. Besides, Steve and Two-Bit had been trying to take him to the Curtis'. Surely that meant that Mr. and Mrs. Curtis knew, didn't it? Surely they'd done everything they could to stop what was happening to Johnny? If they couldn't do anything as adults, then what was fifteen-year-old Audrey hoping to accomplish?

She didn't even feel like she could tell _Dawn_. Would that not somehow be betraying Johnny's trust? If she told Dawn, she wouldn't even be telling for the purpose of helping him. If she told Dawn, she'd only be helping _herself_, because she couldn't stand the thought of what was happening to Johnny. She desperately wanted somebody else to take the weight of responsibility, somebody else to make all these decisions _for_ her, because as mature as Audrey liked to think she was, she wasn't sure if she could handle this. But Johnny didn't want anyone to know. So was she being selfish again? She didn't know. She was so, _so_ confused.

So the answer was yes, she did want to tell somebody. But she didn't.

"Just thinking about Johnny." At least it wasn't a lie.

Dawn grinned at her. "Should've guessed." She teased. "Y'know, I've been thinkin', and I don't think OBJC is appropriate anymore."

Audrey turned to more fully face Dawn from where they were lying down on the bed. "Oh?"

Dawn nodded. "You've already befriended him, haven't ya?"

Audrey smiled a little for the first time all day. "I guess I have."

"So I was thinkin' somethin' more along the lines of OMJCFMIL."

Audrey sent her a strange look. "What does that even _stand_ for?" She asked, giggling a little bit. She loved that Dawn could make her feel better without even knowing what was wrong.

Dawn rolled her eyes like it was obvious. "Operation Make Johnny Cade Fall Madly In Love."

Audrey outright laughed at that. "No." she said. "Way too long."

Dawn nodded at her again. "I thought ya might say that. So I came up with a back-up plan: JC + AM. Y'know, for Johnny Cade-"

"+ Audrey Miller." Audrey finished for her. "We can't use that either. Too obvious. _Anyone_ could figure that out!"

Dawn's next suggestion, a rather more playful one, Operation Seduce The Pants Off Johnny Cade, made Audrey blush fiercely. She couldn't believe that Dawn had said that!

Eventually, Dawn came up with a name that Audrey could agree with. Not only that, but it made a little bubble of hope and happiness rise within her-

OJLA: Operation Johnny Loves Audrey.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

Life over the next week went well for Audrey. Daddy had agreed to give her driving lessons on a more regular basis, and that helped distract her from thinking about Johnny and his father. She still felt a little bit sick whenever she thought to wonder about whether or not Johnny was at home, but somehow she didn't think that that would ever really go away, even if she lived for another hundred years. Home was supposed to be the place where you felt safe, and it made Audrey want to curl up into a ball and cry that Johnny didn't have that.

That boy was always making her cry.

She guessed that Two-Bit and Steve must have told Sodapop Curtis about her helping Johnny, because whenever he passed her in the halls, he always looked at her a little curiously, whereas before it seemed he didn't know that Audrey existed.

In fact, all of the boys seemed more aware of her, though in Steve's case she could have done without him scowling at her every time they saw each other. She'd _helped_ Johnny, so she didn't quite understand why he seemed to hate her so much, but she decided to let it go. Trying to figure Steve Randle out just wasn't the way she wanted to spend her time.

The days of Two-Bit Mathews winking at her playfully in the halls had come to pass. He was still much friendlier than Steve though. He at least smiled sometimes, and he always acknowledged her, even if it was just a nod, as opposed to Steve who, after a few days, seemed to have decided to pretend she didn't exist. She wondered if maybe the reason Two-Bit wasn't as happy-go-lucky anymore was that he took her acquaintance with Johnny more seriously. She didn't claim to know Two-Bit very well, but she could guess that he was a little wary of her status as a Soc. Maybe he thought she'd end up hurting Johnny in the long run because of it. Or maybe he worried about the same thing that Audrey worried about:

That the other Socs would find a way to make Johnny pay for talking to her.

So far though, Audrey's friends seemed fairly oblivious to her friendship with Johnny. Every one in awhile, when Cherry caught them smiling at each other, she'd give Audrey a look, but she never discouraged the friendship again. Audrey wondered if maybe Cherry had realized that she wasn't one to be easily influenced.

In English, Johnny and Audrey had started to talk about more personal things, now that what was probably the most personal issue for either one of them had been brought out into the open. Audrey, feeling more comfortable with Johnny, confided in him that, actually, she didn't _think_ she wanted to be a dancer. _She wanted to be a dancer_. She told him how desperately she hoped she got that part in 'The Nutcracker'. She told him how she wanted to be famous in the dance world. She told him how much she _loved_ it. He, in turn, told her about his friends, who he called 'the gang'.

"I love all the gang, but Pony's my best friend."

Audrey wrinkled her nose in confusion. "Pony?"

"Ah, yeah, sorry. Ponyboy Curtis."

"Curtis? Is he related to Sodapop?"

Johnny laughed a little. "Yeah, their dad likes weird names. They've got an older brother too, but his name is Darryl. He was named after their dad, y'know. We all call him Darry though. He's goin' off to college next year. Pony's real smart too- he's only thirteen, but he'll be startin' high school next year."

Audrey had raised her eyebrows at that, impressed. "Wow. So- he's your best friend?"

"Yeah." He shrugged, like it wasn't any big deal. "The Curtis' are practically my family. Well, the whole gang is, really."

"Who's the whole gang?" Audrey asked, desperate to hear more about Johnny's life.

"Well, you know Steve, Two-Bit and Soda. Two-Bit's real funny, always tellin' jokes. He's good to have 'round when you're feelin' down. And then there's Dally."

He'd stuck the name 'Dally' on the end like it didn't matter as much as the others, but there was something in his tone that made her zero in on that one name. That name was important.

"Who's Dally?" she pressed.

"Well, Dally's sixteen, but he don't go to school. Don't think he has in a long time. Used to live up in New York, till he ran away and came down here. Dally's real tuff, he's gotta be, he lived on the streets for three years. Like I said, he don't go to school, but it don't matter, cause Dally's real smart about all the important stuff."

Audrey bit her lip. Dally sounded a little scary. But the way Johnny talked about him- it was almost a tone of worship. Johnny obviously admired Dally a lot. She wondered why. It made her want to meet him. But she was too afraid to ask.

She also told him about her life in Seattle. She'd laughed when he asked her if it was real cold up there.

"Well, I didn't think so, but you might. It rains more up there though."

He'd asked if she still kept in touch with her friends.

"Well… not that much. It's just kind of hard, because we aren't really experiencing the same things anymore, so… I guess we're just growing apart. I used to think I had really great friends, but now, seeing how easily we've stopped talking… you're lucky you have such great friends, Johnny."

He'd smiled softly at her and said. "I know. I hope you have really great friends one day too, Audrey."

Sometimes they talked about darker things though. Like the fact that most days Johnny tried to go anywhere _but_ home. About how his father was an abusive drunk and his mother was neglectful, only paying attention to him if she needed somebody to yell at. He'd stopped once he saw how much the information distressed her though, and she wished she could be stronger for him.

He'd asked her about her family instead, and instead of what she told everyone else- that daddy was well-paid lawyer and that mother used to be a famous ballerina, she told him that mother was resentful of the fact that getting married and having a child had ruined her career, and that mother and daddy fought all the time. Despite the fact that she felt they were insignificant next to his problems, Johnny was sympathetic.

It was then that Audrey realized that she could really, honest to God fall in love with Johnny Cade.

Before the end of the lesson, she wrote her phone number on his hand, something she hadn't gotten up the courage to do before.

"I know you've got your gang, but if you ever need to talk, don't feel shy about calling, okay?"

He stared at his hand in surprise for several moments, but when he finally did look at her, he was smiling the biggest smile she'd ever seen him wear.

"Sure thing, Audrey."

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

It was one day while Audrey was desperately trying to remember the last number of her locker combination that Chris Shay made an abrupt and unwelcome reappearance in her life. She thought she'd finally shook him and his crush off when he'd started chasing after Sue Patterson last week, but apparently not.

He showed up at her locker, all copper hair and hazel eyes. He smiled in a way that Audrey would have normally found charming, but the fact that it was Chris Shay sent alarm bells ringing in the back of her mind. She tensed involuntarily, but that didn't seem to matter to him, because the very first thing he said to her was,

"Hey Audrey, you wanna go to the Nightly Double with me this weekend?"

She wrinkled her nose in disgust, knowing his plans were probably more along the lines of making out than watching a movie. At this point, knowing as much about Chris as she did, she doubted very much that she would have ever wanted to go to the Nightly Double with him, even if she hadn't been drawn to Johnny Cade like a moth to a flame.

"No thanks." She said bluntly, finally remembering that the last number was 5, before gathering her books and leaving him standing there stunned in the hallway.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

Which apparently turned out to be just about the biggest mistake of Audrey's life.

Chris seemed to have taken her rejection, not for the 'no' it was, but rather as a reason to follow her around until she agreed to go on a date with him.

Over the next few days, Audrey slowly came to the conclusion that either she'd kill him, or he'd drive her out of her mind. He'd follow her in the hallways, listing the reasons she should go out with him. A couple times he'd snatched her books from her and refused to give them back until she let him walk her to class, during which time he'd interrogate her about why she _didn't_ want to go out with him. Another time, he'd followed her down three whole hallways, tugging on her ponytail while saying "Ah, c'mon Audrey, y'know you want to!", even when people started to stare.

She thought she'd finally escaped him on Saturday, but he'd gotten her number from Debbie and kept calling her house all weekend. She would have just stopped answering her phone, if it hadn't been for the fact that she was hoping Johnny would call. But it was always Chris.

Everybody has that one person who they wouldn't mind if they just fell off the face of the Earth. For Audrey Miller, that person was Christopher Shay.

On Sunday, she spent most of the day next door at Cherry's house just to avoid the phone.

"He just won't leave me alone!" she said to Cherry, frustrated.

Cherry nodded sympathetically. "I'll bet. Funny thing is, if you'd just gone out with him in the first place, he'd probably be done with you by now. Chris' attention span isn't all that big."

Audrey snorted. "He sure seems to be paying a lot of attention to me…"

"That's cause you're the first girl that's ever rejected him."

Audrey went wide-eyed. "You're kidding! He's the most obnoxious person I've ever met!"

Cherry nodded in agreement, and Audrey noted it was the first time she'd ever seen Cherry outwardly express dislike towards a member of their group. "But he's a _popular_ obnoxious person."

Audrey groaned. Popularity, she decided, was just plain ridiculous.

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?" Audrey asked.

Cherry shrugged, looking a little unsure. "I dunno. Just wait it out, I guess…"

Audrey groaned again, wondering how long _that_ would take.


	8. Beauty In All She Is

Chapter 8: Beauty In All She Is

**Disclaimer: So to sum it all up, I'm pathetic and own nothing -_-**

**So, I'm very excited for this chapter because there's a SCENE IN JOHNNY'S POV! :DDDD We finally get to see what he thinks of Audrey, lol, after 8 chapters. Also, I know Clara is usually played by a young girl, but I saw an adaptation by the BBC Royal Opera House where Clara is cast as a teenager, which is why Audrey auditioned for the part of Clara. **

**To my reviewers-**

_**Weeping-willows18**_**: Weeping willows are my favorite trees! :D Thank you, I'm so happy you like it! Yeah, I didn't actually realize until I posted this story how hard it is to walk the fine line between not creating a perfect character and also not making them mean and pathetic and unlikable, so thank you, that really means a lot to me. **

_**Wow**_**: LOL, that's just about the best thing I've heard in awhile :D I'm very flattered that my story excites you that much! I've done that so many times in front of my friends that if somebody looks confused, one of them'll just go 'fanfiction', lol!**

_**Pixie silver**_**: OMGosh, thank you so much! I smiled so much when I read your review!**

_**anna the viking XD**_**: Lol, I'm glad you think so. When I created Chris, I knew that I didn't want people to like him. **

_**Smiles436**_**: Oh wow, really? That's awesome! I knew people liked it, but I didn't realize anybody liked it that much! Oh wow, you have no idea how awesome that makes me feel! And I didn't even like chapter 7 that much! **

_**LunarLilies**_**: Lol, not sure if it's quite as extreme as stalking, but he'll certainly be an annoying presence for awhile XD Lol, yeah, I actually thought of Operation Seduce the Pants off Johnny Cade in a dream, so we have my subconscious to thank for that one!**

_**YouSeeMeRollin**_**: Yes, I get all happy about their progress as well :D Though I didn't get the last part of your review. Were some words missed out? If they were, don't worry, that happened to me when I was leaving a review last week. -_- Thank you for your comment about my writing though!**

**Thank you to everyone reading this story, and, of course, to those who reviewed, favorited and followed.**

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

The very _second_ that Audrey hung up the phone, she leaped from her bed, scrambling to get down the staircase, screaming as she did so "I GOT THE PART!"

Mother and daddy had obviously been fighting again, she realized when she tore into the sitting room, but she was too excited to care. For the first time in a long time, mother seemed pleased with Audrey, because she smiled, saying "Congratulations." Before picking up a magazine and beginning to flip through it.

Audrey's excitement though, had spread to daddy who near enough sprung off the couch with a wide grin. He came over and gave Audrey a hug that lifted her feet off the ground, and then spun her around until she thought surely he'd get dizzy and they'd fall over.

"Congratulations sweetheart! That's wonderful! Which part did you get?"

Audrey smiled even more. "Well, I auditioned for the part of Clara, but they thought I'd do better as the Sugarplum Fairy."

Mother nodded, looking up from her magazine, a pleased smile on her face. "Just make sure you remember to keep smiling, and for God's sake, keep those arms locked! Your footwork is always so beautiful, but you have spaghetti arms."

Audrey internally sighed. Why couldn't mother give a compliment without also giving an insult? It had always been Audrey's way though, to be slightly more lax about her form in lessons, and when it came to auditions and performances for the adrenaline to force her into a state of near perfection. Daddy on the other hand, kissed her on the forehead and gave her another bear hug, immediately lifting Audrey's spirits again.

In fact, Audrey was in such high spirits that when she went to school the next day, she wasn't even annoyed to see Chris Shay standing by her locker before first period. She was still smiling even as she sorted her books out.

"You sure look happy." Chris commented. "Somethin' happen?"

Audrey turned to him still smiling, happy to be able to tell someone else she'd gotten what was often considered the most desirable role in 'The Nutcracker'.

"I got the part of the Sugarplum Fairy in 'The Nutcracker'!"

Chris blinked. "Oh, uh… right. So you got the role you wanted?"

"Nope!" Audrey chirped happily. "I got an even better role!"

Chris nodded, smiling now. "Well that's real great, Odd-ball! Congratulations!"

Audrey didn't even mind that he'd called her Odd-ball, she was that happy.

"Maybe we should celebrate this weekend." He continued. "We don't hav'ta go to the Nightly Double if you don't wanna. Maybe we could… I dunno… get ice cream or somethin'? You like ice cream, right? Everyone likes ice cream!"

Audrey opened her mouth to say 'no', but in her mind's eye she could suddenly see exactly how this was going to go if she rejected him _yet again_. He'd whine and follow her around and ask her why she hated him so much and he'd keep showing up at random intervals throughout the day to find her and ask her out again and she wouldn't get a moment's peace and her good mood would be ruined. Maybe she should just say yes. Cherry _did_ say that Chris didn't have the largest attention span. If she went out with him, she'd probably have him off her back by this time next week. And then he'd leave her blissfully alone.

"I… yeah, alright, I guess."

Now was really the best time to do this, if she was going to do it at all, while he was offering to get something innocent, like ice cream, rather than go to a movie where she'd probably be expected to make out with him the whole time.

He beamed brightly at her, and for a moment she felt doubt, but she reminded herself of her vision of what would have happened had she said no.

"Great! How 'bout I pick you up Saturday night, 'round 8?"

"Yeah… sure." Despite the vision, she prayed that she wasn't going to regret this. Something told her she was being stupid, but she felt like it was too late to back out now.

He still walked her to lesson, but he wasn't being nearly as annoying, so in her happiness she found it much easier to converse with him pleasantly as they walked through the halls.

Neither of them noticed when a pair of dark, dark eyes followed them as they left her locker.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

Everyone was super nice at lunch, congratulating her on getting the part in 'The Nutcracker'. Well, everyone except for Peggy that is. Peggy spent the whole of the lunch period giving Audrey the evil eye. She supposed this was because as soon as he'd sat down, Chris had announced to the whole table that he and Audrey were going on a date that weekend. Cherry had glanced at her in surprise, but didn't say anything in front of their friends.

Audrey didn't even fully understand _why_ Peggy should care whether or not she and Chris went on a date, as _she was dating Dale_! Honestly, Audrey just didn't understand the Chris/Peggy/Dale love triangle. Why had Peggy even started dating Dale in the first place? As far as Audrey knew, Chris hadn't had a serious girlfriend in over a year, and Peggy and Dale had only been dating for five months, so why hadn't Peggy made a move on _Chris_ instead of _Dale_ if they were both _single_!?

Of course, there was always the possibility that Peggy just didn't have the confidence to go after the guy she really wanted.

And poor Dale- he had no idea, fawning over Peggy as if she were the queen of the world, even as she sat glaring at Audrey for having a date with Chris.

And then it clicked.

Hadn't she done exactly the same thing? Here Chris was, excitedly telling everyone at their table about their date, and even as she sat judging Peggy for not dating the guy she wanted, Audrey had done _exactly the same thing_. She was going to go on a date with Chris this weekend, even as she thought about OJLA and looked forward to telling Johnny about her part in 'The Nutcracker', just like he'd asked her to.

So really, how did that make her any better than Peggy Montgomery?

She pushed the rest of her lunch away, suddenly feeling sick to her stomach.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

Despite her epiphany at lunch, Audrey certainly couldn't deny her excitement about telling Johnny all about 'The Nutcracker' in English.

Except for the fact that when she got there he wasn't talking to her.

It wasn't so much that he ignored her, he never ignored her… it was more like she was talking _at_ him rather than _with_ him.

She'd gotten there just as Mr. Syme was letting everybody inside, and she practically ran for her desk at the back of the room, almost bouncing in her anticipation as she watched Johnny sit down more calmly.

"Hi, Johnny!" She chirped happily.

He glanced at her shortly. "Hi." he mumbled.

That was when she frowned. He was normally more pleasant to her than that.

"…Is something wrong?" She asked, a knot forming in her stomach.

He just shrugged.

"Oh, well… do you want to talk about it?"

He shrugged again.

"Are you having a bad day or something? Do you want me to leave you alone?"

Another shrug.

Biting her lip, Audrey turned to face the front. She didn't think she'd ever felt so disappointed in her whole life. She'd been waiting all day to tell him about 'The Nutcracker', and now he didn't even want to talk to her!

The worst part was, she didn't even know what she'd done wrong.

They didn't speak at all for the rest of the lesson, and when the end-of-day bell rang, Johnny practically ran from the room, while Audrey stayed rooted in her seat, trying desperately not to cry.

Why was she such a cry-baby? She was always crying!

Mr. Syme looked at her kindly from his desk. "Audrey, is there something wrong?"

Swallowing back her tears, she stood from her desk, grabbing her books.

"No, sir. But thank you."

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

The Curtis house was loud with seven boys eagerly awaiting dinner. Johnny didn't know how Mrs. Curtis did it, cause as many as four times a week she'd have to put up with making dinner for what could likely be classified as a small tribe. She had just been setting out the food when Johnny walked in and sat down at the kitchen table with the rest of the gang. Mrs. Curtis put Mr. Curtis' dinner in the oven so it would stay warm for when he got back from work.

There was a brief moment where Two-Bit and Soda fought over who should get the mashed potatoes first, but Mrs. Curtis grabbed them and gave them to Pony instead, as a reward for 'waiting patiently'. When her back was turned, Soda scowled at Pony playfully and called him a goody-two-shoes… not that Pony seemed to care. He was too busy enjoying his mashed potatoes.

Johnny just continued to eat quietly as all of this went on around him. Mrs. Curtis gave him a concerned glance but Johnny ignored it in favor of his peas. Granted, Johnny was usually quiet, but today he just wasn't participating in conversation at all.

He wasn't surprised Mrs. Curtis had noticed even though none of the gang had yet. Mr. and Mrs. Curtis were pretty much the parents he'd always wished he had. They had gone to try and talk to his parents more than once, and had even called social services a couple times. When none of that worked, they had been kind enough to leave their house open to him, anytime he might need it. Despite the fact that they didn't live on the best side of town, their door was never locked, not even at night, and Johnny knew this was largely because of him. Even if he lived for a hundred, no, a _thousand_ more years, he'd never be able to fully express his gratitude.

So he wasn't all that surprised when she leaned down to Johnny, trying to discreetly ask "Johnny, is something wrong?" but it still caught the attention of a few of the other guys.

The second she said it, he remembered Chris Shay walking Audrey Miller to first period, carrying her books for her while they talked.

To Mrs. Curtis, all he said was "I'm fine."

But she gave him a knowing look, and a smile started to creep onto her face. She had the same grey-green eyes as Ponyboy, and now they were sparkling at him in a way that made him suspicious.

"Oh really?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. "Because the only time I've ever seen _that_ expression on a boy's face was when it was about a girl."

It sure was about a girl. He'd been thinking about Audrey Miller a whole lot lately.

Now the rest of the gang was looking at them. Soda suddenly smiled and laughed. "Ah, yeah mom. From what Two-Bit here says, Johnny's got himself a little girlfriend!"

Johnny thought his whole _body_ must be blushing, he was that embarrassed. He really wished that Two-Bit hadn't felt the need to tell the whole gang about Audrey helping him out that one time.

"Shut up." Johnny mumbled. "I told y'all, she ain't my girlfriend!"

Dally nodded. "Don't see why Johnny would go likin' a girl like that, anyway. She's a fuckin' Soc, from what I hear."

Mrs, Curtis shook her head. "Dally, language." She scolded gently. "Besides, what does it matter if this girl's a Soc? I'm sure that she has feelings too!"

Dally just grumbled and went back to eating his dinner. Nobody else would of ever gotten away with talking to Dally like that. Johnny was pretty sure that the only reason that Dally let Mrs. Curtis talk to him that way was because he respected her for actually _caring_ about her kids. It was a respect that Johnny could certainly relate to.

"So what's this girl's name, anyway?" Mrs. Curtis asked, her attention back on Johnny.

Before Johnny could remind her that it didn't matter what her name was because she wasn't his girlfriend, Two-Bit said through a mouthful of carrots "I 'ink 'ohnny 'all 'er Au'rey?"

"Don't speak with your mouth full." Mrs. Curtis reminded. Two-Bit swallowed his food and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry Mrs. Curtis. I said, I think Johnny called her Audrey."

Mrs. Curtis looked back at Johnny for confirmation, and he nodded, realizing she wasn't about to let this go. She smiled brightly.

"Well, if anything ever happens with this _Audrey_, I wanna hear about it, ya hear, Johnny Cade?"

He nodded again, and she smiled, turning away from him while the guys laughed, echoing "Yeah, ya hear, Johnny Cade?!"

But Johnny ignored them. He wouldn't have to tell anyone about anything happening because Audrey Miller was never going to want to go out with a guy like Johnny Cade. She was too nice, too popular, too fun, too friendly. She had a real good reputation round school, but she was still pretty new and probably didn't realize how serious the Soc/Greaser feud was, because she never checked to make sure other Socs weren't watching them talk. So Johnny checked for her. He didn't want to ruin her reputation. So far it looked like he'd succeeded. He'd seen lots of Soc boys offering to walk her to class, and recently she'd been letting Chris Shay carry her books an awful lot. Why would she want Johnny when she could have a guy like Chris? A guy who was popular, like her. He could take her places with his money, unlike Johnny, who was going to be stuck in Tulsa for the whole rest of his life.

And even if for some reason that Johnny couldn't think of, she ever _had_ noticed him for even a passing second, he'd ruined all of that today when he'd pretty much ignored her in class. He'd probably ruined their whole friendship, and now he wouldn't even have a reason to talk to her anymore.

He'd known he was upsetting her even as it was happening, but he'd been unable to stop himself. She did things to him, and seeing her happy with Chris Shay like that had just about killed him. He didn't know if she realized, but whenever Audrey was even the slightest bit happy, she always smiled, no matter how small.

She hadn't been smiling in English that day though. Not after he'd started ignoring her at least.

Her eyes hadn't been happy either. Whenever Audrey was happy, Johnny always knew. Besides her smiles, which were always soft and pretty, her big blue eyes would always be sparkling. Johnny liked to think that sometimes when she looked at him, that sparkle and that smile changed into something special. Something just for him. But that was just wishful thinking.

And even if for some unfathomable reason she _did_ like Johnny, he'd just ruin her. Everything about her was too soft and pretty for him. Her smile, her eyes- her hair. He wanted to touch it, especially when it caught the sun and shined as it so frequently did. He wanted to see if it was as smooth as it looked. It reminded him of that kids' book, what was it?

Goldilocks.

She moved real graceful too. He thought that might have been from the dancing. He liked that she was so passionate about ballet. It sounded like a real rich person's hobby, but nevertheless, he thought it was real neat that she cared about something that much. Johnny wished he had something like that, something he could strive for. But he was just going to live out the rest of his life as a nobody in this nowhere town.

But Audrey… Audrey was going places. She was going to be real famous one day. He'd never seen her dance, but he'd seen how much she wanted it, the way her whole face lit up when she talked about it, and it was enough to make Johnny believe in her. She was going to be somebody, and maybe she'd marry a doctor or a lawyer someday. And when she was done with dancing, she'd have a couple of kids. And she'd have a family that loved her and could afford dinner every night and didn't hurt each other.

Johnny couldn't ruin that for her. He was just a no good Greaser. He'd only dirty her up.

Not that it mattered anyway. Audrey didn't like Johnny. Or else why did she spend so much time with Chris Shay?

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

Audrey and Cherry were in the backyard, making use of the pool one last time before daddy put the cover over it for the winter as September drew to a close. Cherry had tied up her red hair in an effort to keep it dry, but Audrey had quickly rectified that by splashing her. Things had quickly devolved into a splash fight, and after much giggling, the two had finally just laid back and floated, enjoying the sun.

"I thought you didn't like Chris?" Cherry finally asked, after a long time of comfortable silence.

Audrey opened her eyes, sighing. She'd been hoping they could avoid that topic. She really, really, _really_ regretted agreeing to go on a date with Chris.

"I don't. I was being stupid. You know, cause you said he didn't have a big attention span? I was hoping if I went on a date with him he'd leave me alone soon, but… well, now I feel bad."

Cherry nodded and they were quiet for a little longer.

"Audrey?" Cherry asked, her voice sounding small and uncertain. "You like… you like that Johnny Cade, don't you? That boy you're always smilin' at?"

Audrey flipped herself upright in the water, splashing as she went, and looked at Cherry in surprise. Cherry mirrored her, once she saw that Audrey had moved.

"I…" Audrey started, unsure as to how this conversation was going to go. "Yes."

Cherry nodded. "I thought so. Are you… are you sure about him? Greasers are really… they're not nice. Bob's always comin' back from fights with them all beat up."

Audrey felt irritated with Cherry at that comment. "Yeah, well where do you think the Greasers get _their _cuts and bruises from, huh? You think they just appeared out of nowhere? Cherry, if that's your argument then we should be staying away from Soc boys as well!"

Cherry looked startled, like she hadn't ever thought of it that way before. But she didn't look mad, or upset, which Audrey was relieved about. She was trying to prove a point, not hurt Cherry's feelings.

"I guess that's true." Cherry finally admitted, still sounding a little stunned. "But still… you're sure about Johnny Cade? You're a real sweet girl, Audrey, I don't wanna see you get hurt, is all."

"Cherry, Johnny's not going to hurt me. He's really nice, okay? You don't have to worry about me." Audrey said, her tone softer now that she knew that Cherry was just trying to look out for her.

Cherry nodded, but she still looked a little unsure.

"Cherry, listen." Audrey said, holding eye-contact. "You can't tell anybody else, okay? I… I get the feeling the other Socs might not like it too much if they knew I was talking to Johnny."

Cherry nodded. "They'd probably jump him."

"Jump him?" Audrey asked. She'd never heard that term before.

"Yeah, y'know." Cherry said. "Catch him off guard and beat him up."

Audrey's stomach immediately flipped unpleasantly at the thought of that ever happening to Johnny.

"Cherry, promise me you won't tell _anybody_." She pressed. She didn't know what she'd do if that ever happened to Johnny. Especially if it was because he was talking to her. No wonder he was always checking to make sure nobody saw them talking!

Cherry looked uncertain still. "Cherry, _please_!" Audrey pleaded.

"Well… alright, I guess. But if he ever does anything to hurt you, you tell me right away, alright?"

Audrey nodded quickly. Not that it mattered. Johnny wouldn't ever hurt her. Though remembering the pain she'd felt earlier, knowing he was mad at her about something or other, she suddenly wondered if maybe Cherry was talking about emotional pain.

She quickly decided that that didn't matter either. Johnny was worth at least _trying_ for.


	9. I Will Be Brave

Chapter 9: I Will Be Brave

**Disclaimer: None of it's mine, except the OC's that have been applied liberally.**

**Gotta warn you guys, this is probably the most exciting chapter yet :D**

_**Weeping-willows18**_**: Haha your welcome and thank you! I actually hadn't noticed the 2D Cherry problem in fics, but I was just trying to make her act like a real person XD**

_**Pixie silver**_**: I take it you liked it then? :P**

_**Wow**_**: Haha, if you don't like not knowing what happens you won't like this chapter very much- I pretty much leave you guys dangling over a cliff :D I'm pretty sure you're American, and since I live in the UK there's a significant time difference which would make it difficult for me to update when you wanted me to, haha, sorry!**

_**Smiles436**_**: Haha, here's your update! It's so funny to hear people say they need to know what happens next cause, like… I already know what happens :P**

_**BuleberriesAreAwesome**_**: I told myself I wouldn't ask, but I have to: is your username a typo or was BlueberriesAreAwesome already taken? In any case, THANK YOU SO MUCH! I know, Johnny is a sweetheart isn't he?**

_**anna the viking XD**_**: Lol, you're actually the only person who noticed that- or at least the only person who pointed it out :D If it's speed you're looking for, you'll like this chapter :D**

_**DoingItForJohnny**_**: OMG- I had actually wanted to use your penname, but it was already taken! Lol, now I know who by! Thank you, I really hope you like where I'm going with it XD *Fingers crossed***

_**Roc2Roll**_**: Lol, I guess you liked it then?**

**Thank you to readers, reviewers, fav-ers and followers!**

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

Audrey wished she knew what she'd done wrong.

She probably behaved more pathetically during the rest of that week then she ever had in her entire life. She smiled at Johnny whenever she saw him, in the hope that suddenly everything would go back to the way it used to be and he'd smile back at her like he always used to do. But he never did. He'd acknowledge her with a quick glance or a nod of his head and then they'd have walked past each other and Audrey would be left feeling frustrated and confused. She tried to talk to him in English but it was always the same closed, non-committal responses, and without his cooperation, she would run out of things to say during the first ten minutes of the lesson.

As the days passed, the knot in her stomach grew tighter and tighter with wondering if she did something wrong, and if so, _what_ she did wrong, until finally she just felt so sick every time she even _thought_ about Johnny that she couldn't even look at him anymore. By Friday, they no longer acknowledged each other in the hallways and their English lessons were spent in such awkward, tense silence that Audrey had actually considered asking Mr. Syme if she could switch seats.

By the end of that week, Audrey felt sure that whatever she had done, it had made Johnny hate her.

And she _just_ could _not_ figure out _why_!

She wished that he would just tell her what she'd done to make him so mad at her, and how to fix it. Because if he told her how to fix it, she'd _do it_! Audrey thought she'd do anything, if it would _just fix it_. Even if they only ever stayed as friends. She could handle that, really, she could, she just- she-

She just missed him, and she wanted him back.

But she didn't know how to fix it. She didn't know how to fix it, and he wasn't talking to her to _tell_ her how to fix it. She didn't know how to fix it, and she didn't even know _what_ she needed to fix.

And Audrey didn't know what to do.

Rehearsals for 'The Nutcracker' -which were held three times a week, causing her to miss some of her dance lessons, but it would look so good to Juilliard that Audrey didn't really mind that- helped a little bit, in that it distracted her for awhile, because she couldn't afford to think about Johnny and this whole mess while she was preparing for this ballet. This performance was a stepping stone to her future, and it was _important_.

The other dancers were all really friendly, and the girl who had the role of Clara in particular, Julie Baker, was someone that Audrey liked immensely. The girls all had very similar attributes- average height, thin and willowy with long hair that could be easily tied into a bun and pretty little feet- the average ballerina prototype, but other than that, Julie looked almost painfully average. You'd never look twice at her walking down the street with her light brown hair and eyes; unless, of course, she was smiling. When Julie smiled, it was never faked. The girl wore her heart on her sleeve, and when she smiled, it made Audrey smile right along with her, no matter how badly she felt about the whole Johnny situation.

So Audrey made an effort to stay close to Julie. She found out they went to different high schools. Julie lived just outside of Tulsa and the Soc/Greaser war wasn't as pronounced at her school, and Audrey soon felt comfortable enough to tell her about her troubles with Johnny.

Julie's advice had been "Well, it sounds like you need to confront him. Forget all this avoidance business. If you wanna know what's wrong, you gotta ask him."

Audrey knew that's what she _should_ do, but somehow she just didn't think she had the courage to actually do it. As much as she wanted Johnny to tell her what was wrong, she wasn't brave enough to march right up to him and demand to know. She wasn't bold enough to look him in the eye while he told her what it was she'd done to ruin their friendship.

When she'd told Julie that, the other girl had shrugged as they continued their warm-up exercises on the barre. "Well then I guess you _definitely_ wouldn't be brave enough to just stop with all the games and tell him how you actually feel?"

Definitely not.

"Who knows?" Julie had continued. "Maybe he feels the same way and that's why he's acting so weird? I dunno, I've got three brothers, and I gotta say, they're not too good with their emotions."

Audrey briefly let herself fantasize that she'd go up to Johnny in school, and unashamedly tell him how she felt about him, and that he'd sweep her up in his arms and say he felt _exactly the same way_-

But Audrey wasn't that brave. And what if he _didn't_ feel the same way? What if, despite everything, he still just thought she was a spoiled little rich girl who only got by because daddy was taking care of her? What if the reason he wasn't talking to her anymore was because he had just gotten tired of having to pretend he liked talking to her?

What if she went and made it obvious how she felt and he didn't feel the same way and things were just plain awkward for the whole rest of forever?

"No." Audrey whispered to herself as they began to get into the actual rehearsal.

"No, I'm not that brave. I'm just a coward."

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

The weekend finally came around, despite Audrey's sense of dread every time she thought about her date with Chris. He was going to take her to some place called The Ribbon. It couldn't possibly be that bad, could it? It was just ice cream after all. She'd get the smallest ice cream possible. That way she could help keep weight off for her 'Nutcracker' performance as well as help the date end a little more quickly. And if, at the end of the night, Chris didn't seem any less interested in her than he had before, she could just say that she'd given him a chance, and she hadn't enjoyed herself, and would he please leave her alone now?

Dawn came over to help her get ready for her date, but she didn't seem all that happy about it. The second that Audrey had closed her bedroom door, Dawn was all evil hazel eyes, crossed arms and tapping feet.

"You wanna tell me _exactly_ why you're pretty much half in love with Johnny Cade, and yet you're goin' out on a date with _Christopher Shay_, who, if I remember correctly, you once described to me as the most obnoxious person on the face of the planet?"

"That's exactly why I'm going out with him!" Audrey burst out, beginning to sort through her clothes. "He's obnoxious and he wouldn't leave me alone! I figured if I went out on a date with him he'd get bored of me and leave me alone."

Dawn was looking at her like she'd just said the dumbest thing ever. She _felt_ like she'd just said the dumbest thing ever.

"Audrey, you're just plain stupid." Dawn finally said decisively.

Resignedly, she responded "I know."

When Dawn realized that Audrey was making an effort to look nice for the date, she gave her yet another look that said 'how many kinds of idiot are you?'

"Just go in what you're wearing!" Dawn said in a demanding tone.

Audrey blinked in surprise. "But… I thought you were here to help me get ready?"

"No." Dawn said in a 'duh' tone of voice. "I was here to interrogate you on why you're goin' out with Chris Shay even though all you ever talk about is Johnny Cade!"

Audrey looked down at her yellow dress. "But… this is what I wore to school."

"Yeah."

"He's already seen me in it today."

"Yeah."

"He'll know I didn't bother to change for our date."

"_Yeah_."

"…Wouldn't that be kind of… I don't know… like, _rude_?"

Dawn rolled her eyes at Audrey. "Audrey, you've gotta make it obvious you don't have feelin's for him. You've already confused him by agreein' to go on a date, what's he gonna think if you go gettin' all dolled up for him?"

Audrey supposed that Dawn was right. So instead of getting ready for her not-so-anticipated date with Chris, they lounged around on the bed and talked about pretty much anything and everything _except_ Chris Shay. Eventually, they got around to talking about Audrey's 'Nutcracker' performance, and Audrey told Dawn what Julie had said about her and Johnny.

"Well, she seems like a real smart girl if you ask me. I mean, if you _really_ want your little crush with Johnny to go anywhere, you're gonna have to tell him eventually, right?"

Audrey felt her insides clench in panic and fear at that. Why would she ever have to tell him? It would only ruin their friendship.

And then Audrey remembered: apparently, they no longer _had_ a friendship.

"No. I can't." She said to Dawn. "I'm too scared. Besides, what ever happened to the _boy_ chasing after the _girl_?" Audrey asked, a little desperate.

Dawn raised her eyebrows. "You and I both know that Johnny Cade is too shy to go chasin' after anybody. Besides… haven't you done all the chasin' so far anyway? You're the one that started talkin' to him. You're the one that established a friendship. And _you're_ gonna have to be the one to start a relationship."

She knew all that. And she had thought, this time last week, that she could do it. That when the time came, she'd be ready, that she could tell Johnny how she felt and face the consequences because Johnny was worth at least _trying_ for, even if it _didn't_ work out the way she wanted it to. But since then, they'd stopped talking, and if she chased after him _now_, wouldn't she just be _asking_ him to stomp all over her heart?

She didn't think that she could risk it now. Not when he so obviously hated her.

And bottom line? Audrey just wasn't brave enough.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

If Audrey hadn't regretted agreeing to go on a date with Chris _before_, then she certainly did _now_.

First of all, he'd showed up ten minutes late, and then when he did get there, he'd looked her up and down and kind of wrinkled his forehead, like 'what the hell is she wearing'? So alright, maybe she should've changed first, but why should she really make the effort when she didn't like him anyway? Still, it had made her feel self-conscious. She didn't like to think of herself as vain (though, perhaps she _was_) but Audrey knew that she was a pretty girl. Nevertheless, Chris' thoroughly unimpressed glance had left her feeling more unattractive than she had in a long time.

It then turned out, when they got to their destination, that the ice cream machine had _broken down_. Audrey had just been about to turn to Chris in delight and declare their date unsuccessful, when he started speaking first.

"Great! I guess this means we can go to the Nightly Double after all!"

Not being able to think of an excuse _not_ to go, they had ended up parked to watch the movie. She had tried to insist that they get out and go sit in the seats, because she thought that this would discourage any wandering hands he may have, but he had pointed out how, with the beginning of October, the night air had become much cooler, and how much warmer it would be in the car.

She hadn't been able to think of an argument for that. After the first fifteen minutes though, when he began to scoot closer to her, she'd crossed her arms and legs, trying to communicate with her body language that she did not want to touch or be touched. He didn't get the message though, and when his hand settled on her knee, she'd near enough sprung out of the car, claiming she needed a drink in a suspiciously high-pitched voice before high-tailing it out of there.

And that was why she'd spent the last ten minutes out in the cold dark night by the concession stand, trying to stay away from Chris and his stupid car for as long as possible.

She hugged her sweater closer to herself and looked down at the ground, hoping her hair would shield her face and maybe keep her nose from freezing off. She could hear people walking to and from the concession stand, but other than that she was for the most part left in peace.

"A coke, please." She heard a quiet voice say, and suddenly her insides got all twisted up. She knew that voice. She thought about that voice pretty much non-stop.

Her head snapped around to take in the form of Johnny Cade being handed a Coke, just like he'd asked for. As he turned, he briefly caught her eye, but he quickly looked away again, ignoring her.

He was ignoring her. He wasn't even going to acknowledge her anymore.

And that's when Audrey finally found it within herself to get _mad_.

How dare he!? She had worked so hard on becoming his friend, had always made sure she listened to what he had to say and tried hard not to judge him. She looked past his status as a no good hood and tried to find the real person he was inside. She made sure to always keep his confidence, even when she thought she couldn't possibly take not telling somebody and he just-

He just _threw her away_? Like she was _nothing_!? Like she didn't mean _anything_!?

_How dare he_!?

Anger raced through her veins, and before she knew what she was doing she had marched straight up to him, grabbed the denim of his jacket and spun him around to face her.

"We need to talk." She near enough hissed at him. "_Now_. _Alone_."

Before he could protest, she had grabbed onto his wrist and began to lead him towards somewhere more secluded where people were less likely to see them talking, not caring that she was practically dragging him along behind her.

Once she felt they had reached a private enough area, she spun around sharply to look at him, and she was pretty sure she felt her long blonde hair whip him in the face as she did so. He certainly looked stunned enough. His eyes were bigger than she'd ever seen them, and she figured she must look as mad as she felt, because he looked like the thought had crossed his mind that she might grow claws and tear him to shreds.

"_What is your problem_?" She hissed, only having to look up slightly to gain the eye-contact she wanted. He looked like such a scared rabbit that if she weren't so angry, she would have hugged him.

She watched him swallow, his Adam's apple bobbing before he spoke to her for the first time in just under a week.

"I don't got a problem, Audrey."

"Then why have you been ignoring me!?" She hated how desperate she sounded, despite her anger.

He looked away from her and shuffled his feet a little. "I wasn't ignorin' ya really. I mean, you weren't exactly talkin' to me, either."

"Only because you weren't talking to me! You quit smiling at me in the halls and you barely spoke to me in English- I… I thought that I had done something to make you mad at me…"

He was starting to look like he felt really guilty now, and as awful as Audrey would normally feel about making somebody feel bad, this time she felt a vicious satisfaction rip through her. Good. He'd been making her feel bad all week.

"No, I ain't mad at ya, Audrey." He mumbled to his feet.

She would've thought that this would make her feel better, but instead she just got angry all over again.

"You weren't mad at me, and yet you weren't talking to me!? Johnny, I've felt really awful all week because of this!"

Now he was looking _really_ sorry. "I'm sorry, Audrey. I thought… well I thought after that first time I ignored you in English that you'd be mad at me. I was just… I dunno, I guess I was havin' a bad day that day. I'm real sorry Audrey, please don't be mad!"

"So, what? You weren't mad at me, I wasn't mad at you- and we just stopped talking for a week over some stupid _misunderstanding_!? Because we both thought the other person didn't want to talk? Johnny, I had so many things I wanted to tell you! But whenever I tried to talk to you, you barely said anything back! I wanted to tell you that I got that part in 'The Nutcracker', and I wanted to tell you how auditions were going, and I wanted to tell you how _annoying _Chris Shay was, always asking me out on a date, and now that I _have_ gone on a date with him, he's not even being a good date! He _doesn't _listen to what I want and have to say and he _can't _read body language and I've _never_ felt so unpretty in my _whole life_-" She knew that she was ranting, but now that she could finally say these things to him, it was like the words just wouldn't stop flying out of her mouth, where they'd stayed dancing on the tip of her tongue for the better part of a week.

Her rant was interrupted though, when she heard Johnny again mumbling to his shoes.

"I think you're real pretty, Audrey."

Her breath hitched in her throat as the whisper was carried by the wind to her ears, and the words in her throat finally died. In fact, she couldn't even really remember why she'd dragged him out here in the first place, or why she was yelling at him. All she could hear were those words, playing on a loop through her head-

"_I think you're real pretty, Audrey."_

And suddenly, just like that, in exactly the same way that Chris' dismissive glance had made her feel so _unpretty_, Johnny's simple words had made her feel like the most beautiful girl in the world.

He blushed immediately upon realizing she'd heard him, and kept staring at the ground, while she stared at his greased black hair and the way his bangs fell shaggily over his forehead.

"Johnny," She said in a breathy voice that she'd never heard herself use before. But it must have been the right tone, because it made him look at her again. "do you really think I'm pretty?"

He blushed again, and she saw his Adam's apple bob nervously again, but he nodded, this time a little more confidently. "Heck Audrey, I think you're beautiful."

Any anger that she might have had left melted at those words. She finally felt bravery building up inside, along with the desire to be close to him. She'd felt it before, but never this strongly, and she suddenly realized that she _was_ moving closer to him, and there was a voice in the back of her mind screaming at her to stop and she was about to ruin everything and _back up right this second_ but she didn't care because he thought she was beautiful and he wasn't backing away from her, not even when she got close enough to wind her arms around his neck-

She pressed her lips against his, and even though _she_ had been the one to initiate the kiss, it still took her a moment to really drink the feeling in. She lifted one of her hands to the back of his head so that she could cradle him into position, and when he kissed her back, Audrey could swear she had never felt something so _perfect_. She couldn't even _think_ anymore, but then, Johnny had always done that to her, hadn't he? She felt him touch her waist gently and pull her closer so that they molded together, like two puzzle pieces and she felt herself melt into him.

Air however, became a necessity and they pulled back, their foreheads leaning against one another. She was staring into his eyes and he looked about as dazed as she felt. Her breath trembled as she gasped in oxygen and she bit her lip as she suddenly wondered what he would say. Those beautiful dark eyes flickered to her lips to follow the movement, but then he was looking back into her eyes, and it felt like for the first time in her life, someone could see straight through her. She had never thought that vulnerability could feel so good until she met Johnny Cade.

"What about Chris?" He whispered. They were so close that as he spoke their lips brushed and it sent shivers up her spine.

"What about him?" She whispered back. "It was you I wanted all along." She finally admitted, figuring the cat was pretty much out of the bag at this point anyway.

The second those words left her mouth he had leaned forward and they were kissing again. She clung onto him, feeling like if she didn't her knees might give out, and she felt him run his fingers through her hair with one hand while he used the other to pull her closer still. She was just beginning to drift again to that happy place where thought is not required when he suddenly pulled back from her.

By the time she had regained her senses, he had put several feet between the two of them, and now that he wasn't holding her anymore the chill of the night air seemed colder than ever. She was breathing hard as she stared at him, feeling like she might cry if he didn't come back to her because it seemed like she had waited _so long_-

He was staring back at her, all big dark eyes and kiss-swelled lips, and if he didn't say something soon she was just going to run straight back to him-

"Audrey… we can't- this wasn't- I mean… this wasn't a good idea. It can't happen again."

She felt like someone had come along with a giant vacuum and sucked all the oxygen out of her lungs. "…What?" She asked, hating the way her voice broke and the way her eyes filled with tears.

_God_, she _always_ cried in front of him!

"I'm sorry Audrey. It can't happen again." And then he pretty much ran from her as fast as humanly possible, leaving her there in the cold and the dark, and only her tingling lips as a reminder of his kisses.


	10. All Of My Doubt Suddenly Goes Away

Chapter 10: All of my Doubt Suddenly Goes Away Somehow

**Disclaimer: I own pretty much nothing, except for OC's galore.**

**Sorry guys, I meant to update this yesterday, but real life made an appearance. Anyway, I hope you love this chapter as much as I do! It feels like I reread it about 10 million times, trying to make sure it was perfect!**

_**LunarLilies**_**: Haha, I have felt that way about many a fanfiction :D And don't worry, we hear all about why Johnny pulled away in this chapter. He does have reasoning, I didn't just stick it in there for angstiness, lol. Although, it is an added bonus! And yeah, I thought about having Chris interrupt them, but… well I HATE when that happens. So I cut it XD**

_**primmyeverdeen12**_**: I'm glad you like it! Lol, yeah, none of **_**us**_** care about the Soc/Greaser thing but SE Hinton's characters do! XD**

_**Wow**_**: Oh gosh, don't get **_**too**_** upset with Johnny! He has his reasons, which get explained in this chapter, so hopefully, after this chapter you shouldn't be confused anymore. **

_**Just obsessed**_**: Sorry, if this chapter had been in Johnny's POV, it would have been really boring and repetitive and short. The reasons for Johnny running away from her are still explained in this chapter though. **

_**Pixie silver**_**: Thank you : ) I was relieved to read your review, cause everyone else before you seemed confused :D**

_**WriterbyLight**_**: Thank you! Haha, all is revealed in this chapter : )**

_**anna the viking**_**: Thank you, I spent ages on the kiss scene cause I didn't want to screw it up**

_**Smiles436**_**: Ah, it's always good to know you can affect people this way :D Johnny's reasoning is revealed in this chapter, though you're right, Audrey is pretty hurt and confused- though the Chris problem is temporarily dealt with in this chapter :D Drama is fine, don't worry about it. **

_**XxCheshireSmilexX**_**: Thank you! I'm sorry, I hope you're revived in this chapter, haha! I'm glad you pushed through and kept reading even if you didn't like her at first. Personally, looking back, I think she was a little, uh… bland in the beginning, but on reflection I think that might have been because she didn't really have anybody to interact with yet and show off her personality. If you don't mind my asking, why did **_**you**_** not like her? So that I can avoid it if I ever decide to make another OC story. As for the gang not immediately accepting Audrey: I. Can. Not. Stand. It. When. That. Happens! You guys JUST met her!**

_**jennnaaelizabeth**_**: It's okay, I know it can be a bit much to review EVERY chapter- plus, I've been updating so often you might not always know it's updated for a couple days, lol :D Thanks for reviewing chapter 9 though :D Yeah, dying seems to have been the general reaction XD**

_**DoingItForJohnny**_**: Lol, yeah, it does get explained in this chapter, so you'll know for sure by the end of this chapter :D **

_**Yeastbaron**_**: OMG thank you! That's really, really, really flattering! Especially since I have played around with the idea of being an author! I actually have decided I want to be an English teacher, but one day, who knows? Maybe I'll do both :D**

_**bryanamarissa**_**: Thank you and thank you! **

_**Not you**_**: Haha, thank you and thanks for reviewing!**

**Thank you for reading, reviewing, fav-ing and following**

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

It was only when her teeth began chattering that Audrey gained the presence of mind to go somewhere less cold. It also happened to be around the time that the shock wore off, and she found herself sitting in the frigid grass, honestly sobbing her heart out.

It was as though once the tears started, she could not, for all that was good in the world, make herself stop. She spent the next fifteen minutes sitting there in the cold, desperately trying to breathe through the sobs that wracked through her whole body.

Every time that she thought she'd started to calm down, that she thought she'd gained some semblance of control, something reminded her and she started crying all over again. Her lips still tingled, and she could still feel his breath on her face, the ghost of his hand on her waist, how it felt when he ran his fingers through her hair.

She'd never realized it was possible to miss somebody you had literally only just seen. But Audrey did. She missed Johnny so much it hurt, and she kept staring in the direction he'd run off, hoping she'd see his blurred form coming back to her through her tear-filled eyes.

But he never did.

Eventually though, she did stop crying, and after taking a few minutes to try and make sure she didn't _look_ like she'd been crying (though she very much doubted she succeeded) she finally gathered herself up off the ground and started to head back to the Nightly Double and, ultimately, Chris.

She saw him when she got to the concession stand -_where she'd first seen Johnny tonight_- looking a little panicked. She wondered why, until he spotted her and he began to look both relieved and annoyed. When she came close enough to him, he put his arm around her shoulders and began to lead her back to his car. She couldn't find it within herself to care enough to tell him to quit touching her.

"Glory, Audrey! Where the hell did you get off to? You had me scared out of my mind, not gonna lie. You said you were goin' to get a _drink_! You've been gone _forty-five minutes_!"

He stared at her, as though waiting for an explanation, but she couldn't think of one. All she could think was that she wished Johnny was the one with his arm around her right now.

"Sorry." She finally mumbled.

Chris suddenly stopped walking, pulling Audrey to an abrupt halt as well. With a confused expression, he pulled her closer and sniffed her hair. She found she didn't care.

"Audrey, were you- were you _smokin'_? You smell like cigarettes! Don't you know they're bad for you!?"

Audrey kept her eyes on the grass, so that Chris wouldn't see her eyes starting to fill with tears again. She smelled like Johnny. Now that Chris had pointed it out, she too could smell the lingering scent of cigarette smoke and grass, clinging to her the way she had clung to Johnny earlier. She bit her lip to keep from sobbing again. The grass was starting to dew, she noticed absent-mindedly as she stared determinedly at the ground. She focused on one particular droplet that was making it's blade of grass bend with it's weight. It would fall, if only it could collect a little more moisture-

Chris was suddenly touching her face, and it distracted her from the dew. When she looked back to see if she could find that one drop, to see if it had fallen yet, she couldn't find it again.

"Audrey." Chris said, gaining her attention. "Audrey, have you been cryin'? You don't look too good. You okay?"

_No_.

"I'm fine. I just- I don't feel well. Can you please take me home now?"

He nodded and she was relieved he hadn't decided to be as obnoxious as he normally was. He put his arm around her again and led her back to his car.

He had taken her half-way home when she remembered that she was spending the night at Cherry's. The two girls had made the arrangements for Audrey to sleepover at Cherry's so that if worst came to worst, Audrey would have a valid excuse to end the date by 10 _at the latest_. Audrey had even left her overnight bag there earlier that day, so that all Chris had to do was drop her off.

"Drop me off in front of Cherry's." She said quietly.

He looked over at her briefly before focusing on the road again. "I thought you didn't feel well."

"I don't. But I'm spending the night at Cherry's."

He still looked a little confused, but he didn't press for more details. Audrey leaned her head against the window and watched the world go by, trying not to think, because all she could think about was Johnny, and thinking about Johnny made her cry.

She didn't understand why he had run away from her. He had kissed her _back_. She had thought that she could finally, _finally_ have him, after everything she'd gone through to establish herself in his life-

After how much she _cared about him_.

Was he afraid that the Socs would find out? Was he afraid of getting jumped? Because Audrey hadn't been planning on telling anybody other than Dawn and Cherry and maybe Julie. Because _Audrey_ was afraid of Johnny getting jumped too. The thought of anybody hurting Johnny always made her feel ill, but the thought of him getting hurt because of _her_ just about made her want to die.

And then the thing that Audrey _really_ secretly feared. The dark thing that she had kept trapped in the back of her mind ever since Johnny told her they couldn't happen. The thing that whispered from her subconscious, causing her heart to wrench and her eyes to fill with tears again and panic to claw its' way up her throat-

_Maybe Johnny just didn't like her_?

Maybe Johnny just didn't like her, and that was why it couldn't happen again. Maybe Johnny just didn't like her and that was why he'd pulled away. The rational part of her argued against this fear. If Johnny didn't like her, than why would he kiss her back? Not only that, but he'd _initiated _the second kiss! And he'd seemed plenty worried about whether or not she wanted to be with Chris.

But what if he _didn't_ like her? Maybe he'd just kissed her back because she was a pretty -_beautiful, he said_- girl and she was there and she'd pretty much thrown herself at him?

_What if Johnny didn't like her_!?

And good Lord, the tears were coming back now. She sniffled quietly, hoping Chris wouldn't notice. He didn't. What a wonderful date _he_ was, she thought sarcastically.

When he pulled up in front of Cherry's house, Audrey immediately reached for the door handle, eager to get out of this car and away from Chris, but he stopped her by saying,

"I'm real sorry you weren't feelin' well tonight, Audrey, but maybe we could try this again some other time?"

She froze, the door half open and the cool night air rushing against her face. When her cheeks felt colder than the rest of her face she realized that she'd let a few tears fall again. She was relieved that Chris couldn't see. Her hair had fallen forward, and it was almost like a shield. Like a barrier. She wished she could make Chris see that barrier, see that she didn't _want_ to go out with him. But then, it was really _her_ fault, wasn't it? She should've never agreed to go out with him in the first place. She was so stupid.

Maybe that's why Johnny didn't like her.

She shut the door and quickly wiped her eyes before turning back to Chris. He'd been obnoxious, yes, but no matter what she should've never agreed to go on this date with him. She'd been cruel and strung him along, making him think she liked him when really, she wanted someone else so much that most of the time, she could barely even think straight. She owed it to him to set things right. She needed to tell him right here, right now, that nothing was ever going to happen. Then maybe he'd quit wasting his time and move onto somebody else.

"Look… Chris…" She started, not really sure how to go about this. She'd never let someone down like this before. Daniel had been the one to break up with her. He apparently had never had this happen to him either, because he was still looking at her expectantly, not reading her tone of voice.

"You're…" She started to say 'you're a really nice guy', but she wasn't entirely sure whether or not she actually thought that, so she quickly changed course. "I don't think we should go on another date."

He blinked at her, looking a little stunned. Then he laughed. "Aw, Odd-ball, I promise that's not how dates normally go! Next time, if you don't disappear for forty-five minutes, I'll show you a real good time."

Now Audrey was beginning to feel irritation prickling within her. Did he think she _didn't_ know what a date was supposed to be like? She'd had a boyfriend before, she knew how things were supposed to go. He was _so_ obnoxious! She knew for a fact that on a date, the girl wasn't supposed to run away from the guy, and then _stay_ away for forty-five minutes because she was kissing somebody else-!

The thought of Johnny quickly drained all of her annoyance though, and she just wanted to get this done as quickly as possible so that she could go inside and go to sleep, and maybe wake up in the morning and have had this whole horrible night never happen.

Except for the kisses. She never wanted to forget those kisses.

So instead, Audrey sighed and tried yet again to push through Chris and all his arrogance. "Yeah, um… look, I know how a date is supposed to go. I've been on dates before. I just… it's not supposed to be like _that_. I… I'm really sorry I wasted your time Chris, but I just don't… I… I don't like you... like that."

There. The words were finally out, and she couldn't bring herself to look at him. So instead all she said was, "Sorry again, Chris." before getting swiftly out of the car.

She wasn't even half-way up the driveway when she heard him driving away, his tires screeching in a way that made her flinch.

Once she was inside the Valances house and in Cherry's room, she wasted no time in getting into her nightgown. When she crawled into Cherry's double bed and closed her eyes, Cherry finally spoke from where she sat at her desk.

"Are you alright, Audrey?" her voice was gentle and concerned and it almost made her cry again. She bit her lip.

"No." She whispered, her voice trembling.

Cherry stood up from her desk and sat down on the other side of the bed.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No." Audrey said again, praying that Cherry wouldn't pry, but she didn't. Instead all she did was nod before changing into her nightgown as well and getting into bed with Audrey and turning out the light, even though she didn't look the least bit tired.

Just when Audrey thought that maybe Cherry _had_ fallen asleep, the other girl whispered into the darkness,

"It'll be alright, Audrey. Whatever it is, it'll be alright."

And that was when Audrey rolled onto her stomach and started to cry into Cherry's pretty pink pillows, because what if it _wasn't_ alright? Cherry just scooted closer and rubbed her back while she cried it all out, and Audrey was sure she'd never felt so thankful in her whole life.

"It'll be alright." Cherry whispered again.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

On Sunday, after Audrey went home, the first thing she did was call Dawn. After crying so much last night, she finally felt like she could talk about it, though there was still a lump in her throat.

Dawn had squealed excitedly when Audrey told her that she and Johnny had kissed, but it abruptly turned into silence when Audrey told her that he had pulled away and said it couldn't happen again.

"…What?" Dawn asked, her voice weak.

"That's what I said." Audrey told her, resisting the urge to curl up beneath her covers and never face the light of day ever again.

"Why would he do that? Maybe he's afraid of getting caught?" Dawn suggested thoughtfully.

"Or maybe he just doesn't like me." Audrey said miserably, finally telling somebody what she was _really_ afraid of.

Dawn seemed very dismissive of that idea though. "Of course he likes you. You said that he kissed you, right?"

"Well yeah." Audrey replied. "But only after I kissed him first."

"That doesn't matter." Dawn said. "The point is, he kissed you."

Audrey tried to let that reassure her, but it didn't. Not really.

"You've gotta talk to him." Dawn said decisively.

"What's there to talk about?" Audrey asked, rubbing her eyelids tiredly. "He doesn't want anything to happen between us. He made that pretty clear when he ran from me like the hounds of hell were after him."

Dawn huffed into the phone, like she thought Audrey was being stupid. "You've gotta talk to him about his mixed signals, that's what!"

"Look." Dawn continued, her voice more gentle this time. "If you talk to him, you'll find out why he ran. If you don't, you'll spend the rest of your life wonderin'. Simple as."

Dawn was right, Audrey knew. She _would_ spend the rest of her life wondering, she knew that. Wondering whether or not he really _had_ liked her. And it was what was best for her, she suddenly realized, in the here and now. Just like she'd had to let Chris off the hook because she didn't like him, if _Johnny_ didn't like _her_, then she had to let _herself_ off the hook. She wouldn't lie, if he didn't like her, it was going to hurt like hell. But it was better to find out now, before she was in too deep. Because she knew, if she didn't stop herself, she was going to fall in love with Johnny Cade. She wasn't there yet, but she would be someday.

It was definitely better to do it now, rather than then.

"Okay." She sighed into the phone. "I'll talk to him on Monday."

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

So it was with determination that Audrey went to English the next day. It was only when she was waiting outside the classroom that it occurred to her-

What if he'd decided not to come to school today?

Luckily, he was there.

She waited until Mr. Syme was too busy writing on the board to pay attention to them, and then she leaned over and whispered in his ear.

"Meet me in the library after class. We need to talk."

She remembered how she'd said 'we need to talk' on Saturday night, and how it had led to those wonderful, sweet kisses-

But she couldn't let herself think about that. Every time she thought about that, she remembered what came after, and she wasn't about to start crying in the middle of English.

He didn't respond, but she knew he heard her because he kept glancing at her for the rest of the lesson. Or maybe that was just because she'd kissed him on Saturday.

Either way, he was there in the library after class, looking more anxious than she'd ever seen him. She took a deep breath, searching desperately for the bravery she'd felt on Saturday, but it was dried up. She suddenly wanted to run. She couldn't bear to look at him and how beautiful he was and remember how perfect she felt when he was holding her while he told her that actually, he _didn't_ like her, and what had she expected, throwing herself at him like that, for him to push her away? He was a guy, you know.

No. He'd kissed her back. And even if he hadn't, Johnny was too nice to go throwing her feelings in her face like that.

So she decided that maybe if she _pretended_ to be brave, then maybe it would make a reappearance.

She released the breath and walked up to him, leaving only a couple of inches between them. She'd tried to stop sooner, but it seemed like she was having even more trouble than usual, controlling herself around him. She was so close she could feel his body heat. It made her want to step closer. She almost did, until she noticed the way he took a careful step back.

She felt her heart break a little bit. So that was it, huh? He'd only come to confirm her fears.

He really didn't like her.

Her eyes immediately filled with tears, despite the fact that she'd promised herself that this time, she _wasn't_ going to cry in front of him.

What a stupid promise to make.

"Aw, Audrey, don't cry." Johnny said, his voice gentle. It just made her cry more. Why couldn't he just _like her_!?

It seemed like her kissing him on Saturday had abolished any shyness he had previously felt about touching her, because he gently gathered her up in his arms where she cried into his shoulder.

"Why did you kiss me back if you didn't like me?" she asked, her voice tiny and muffled.

"Why did I-?" Johnny started to mumble to himself, sounding confused. "Audrey, what are ya talkin' about? Of course I like you. Thought I made it _real_ clear."

It took a minute for his words to sink in, and when they did it took her a little while longer to stop crying. She pulled back a little, just enough so that she could see his face.

"Wait… what? You like me? You _like_ me? Johnny- but- then _why-_?"

He stepped back from her again and ran a hand through his greased hair, beginning to look frustrated. "I couldn't, Audrey. You're pretty and popular and everybody likes ya. I'm just a no good Grease. If ya went out with me, people'd start treatin' ya real different."

So _that_ was what the problem was? She felt relief sweep through her, so strong her knees almost gave out. She could handle _this_!

"Johnny." She started, almost laughing, she was so relieved. "I don't care. _I don't care_. I never cared, I think- well, I think that the whole Soc/Greaser thing is kind of stupid. _Who cares_?"

Even as she was saying it though, the problem made itself apparent. _She_ didn't care, but just about everybody else _did_.

"Everybody." Johnny said, confirming what she'd been thinking. "And even if they didn't… you're too good for me, Audrey. You're goin' places, y'know? I'd only hold ya back, cause I'll tell ya right now, ain't no way I'm ever gettin' outa Tulsa. You deserve better than me. You've got loads of them Soc boys chasin' ya. They can take ya places. Pick one of them."

Audrey felt frustration building in her. _Of course_ he'd been thinking about all of that while they kissed on Saturday night, while she herself had totally blanked out. She had found, over the past month, that out of the two of them, Johnny was far more practical than she was. Johnny had grown up having to look after himself, and as a result, he'd grown up far too fast. Audrey on the other hand, had led a fairly sheltered life, and she was much more idealistic. She wished she could come up with something to say to make him change his mind, and as always when he was around, she spoke without thinking.

"And what if I'm not at all interested in a single _one_ of those Soc boys, Johnny Cade? What if I told you that _you're_ the only boy I want? What if I don't care about _any_ of that?" she asked heatedly.

"Then I'd say you're stupid." He said bluntly, and it broke her heart that he thought so little of himself.

Not being able to stop herself anymore, she grabbed the front of his jacket and pulled him closer, until they were pressed together and she could feel the beat of his heart against her chest.

"And what if I said I _am_ pretty stupid?" she whispered right before she kissed him again. _He_ made her stupid. He always had, ever since that first day of English when she hadn't been able to stop staring. And when he kissed her back, her brain just shut itself off, the way he always made it do. His hands were in her hair again, only this time he pulled it out of its ponytail, and she decided if he liked it down so much she'd never ever wear it up ever again. His hands moved to her waist, pulling her _even closer_ and she cursed the need for oxygen when she finally realized she needed to breathe. She reluctantly pulled back.

"I'd say I'm stupid right along with ya." He said after a minute, sounding a little stunned.

She laughed. "Johnny Cade" she whispered euphorically, "It's not being stupid if I think you're going to end up being the best thing that's ever happened to me. Because I really _don't_ care. About any of it. I just care about you."

He blushed at that and she kissed him again, much more briefly this time, before taking his hand and lacing their fingers together. "Come on, walk me home. I bet my ride's left by now." Mother would want to know why she was late, but right now, Audrey was too happy to care.

They made the journey using side alleys and country roads that hadn't been walked in years so that they didn't have to worry about being seen. Audrey was still afraid of what would happen if the Socs found out, and it seemed as though without even having to talk about it, they'd made a silent pact to keep their relationship a secret for now.

They ended up at her back door, where he squeezed her hand before leaning in to kiss her briefly. "You're not running off on me again, are you?" she asked softly, teasing him.

He blushed and looked down at the ground. "Uh, no. I'm- I'm real sorry about that, Audrey. I didn't think that you'd think I didn't like you. I mean- why wouldn't I?"

When he said that, she just about melted. Instead, she gave him one last quick kiss, mostly because she couldn't get over the fact that she was allowed to now, before darting inside. Just before she shut the door she smiled widely and waved at him like some stupid little girl with a crush but she _couldn't help it-_

Fact of the matter was, Johnny Cade made Audrey Miller pretty damn stupid. 


	11. Colors and Promises

Chapter 11: Colors and Promises

**Disclaimer: Not mine :'(**

**IMPORTANT: Hey, sorry that I haven't updated anywhere **_**near**_** as quickly as I usually do. I've been busy. My friend had a birthday and I was helping plan her party and I was doing my Christmas homework because I go back to college next week. Unfortunately, that means that from now on updates will only be on weekends, with possibly the occasional Tuesday, as that's my day off. My next update will be on either January 12 or 13. After that, I will do my best to update once a week. OH! Also! I realized that Ponyboy's birthday is in July and they said he turned fourteen a month before the book-timeline, meaning book-time was August and that Johnny got jumped in April instead of March and Mr. and Mrs. Curtis died in December instead of November! So I had to change some stuff around in my story outline, which was another reason for the delay. But we're all sorted now :D**

**To my reviewers-**

_**anna the viking XD**_**: Yay, that's what I was going for!**

_**LunarLilies**_**: Haha, you pretty much read my mind. The next few chapters are kind of a Johnny/Audrey, Audrey-getting-to-know-the-gang 'arc' if you will XD And you just know Mrs. Curtis will stick her nose in :D This is more of a Johnny/Audrey chapter, but the gang is in the next chapter! **

_**Pixie silver**_**: I'm so glad you think so! After I posted chapter 10 I almost had a panic attack cause I was convinced it was crap, lol :D**

_**Wow**_**: I'm so happy you loved it! And wow, that is so, so flattering! You have no idea how good the clock-thing made me feel, thank you! Just so you know, I **_**usually**_** update between 4-8 (pm, obviously) my time :D Btw, I actually am American (native Okie), my parents just dragged me kicking and screaming to live in England, lol!**

_**Smiles436**_**: Yay, that's what I was aiming for :D I shall say nothing of any drama that may or may not be coming :P**

_**graciegirl000**_**: Thank you! Haha, yeah, I actually put that line in at the very last minute, during the final check, so I'm glad you enjoyed it : ) Yeah, the Socs don't really find out for awhile yet, but the Greasers are certainly interesting!**

_**The Punk In Disguise**_**: Thank you. And that was actually a point that I was not aware of. All is not lost however, as Audrey Hepburn may not have risen to fame until 1953, but she became an actress in 1948, so technically it's still possible, though not particularly likely, I will admit : ) I'll try not to make mistakes like that in the future.**

_**TwerkingWithSodapop**_**: Haha, I love your name! I smile every time I see it! And thank you, I worked hard on it :D**

_**Guest**_**: Thank you, it makes me so happy that you think so! I intend to finish this- that's why I've only got one story atm- if I try to write more than one I'll just get distracted and give up, and I really want to complete Johnny and Audrey's story :D**

_**Guest**_**: Hmm, it's a little unfortunate that 2 people reviewed as 'Guest' but oh well. Lol, yep, I always wanted to read this kind of story too, and finally I got tired of reading stuff that wasn't the way I saw it in my head and decided to do something about it! I've got to admit though, I **_**really**_** didn't think it would be this popular!**

_**hola**_**: Hey, thank you for reviewing! They will be going on a date (though not in a public place because of the Socs) but in the next chapter, not this chapter.**

_**sunshineabce**_**: I know, it's the worst, isn't it? I'm glad I was able to properly communicate it!**

_**jennaaaelizabeth & XxCheshireSmilexX**_**: I already PM'd you guys, but I just wanted to tell you thank you for reviewing!**

**Thank you for all the support you guys- seriously, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have written past chapter 2.**

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

Audrey had been unusually happy for the rest of the day, and even mother had taken notice, after she'd gotten done lecturing her for not coming home on time and making Bob and Cherry worry about her.

"What are you smiling about?" She'd snapped, annoyed that her scolding hadn't been taken seriously.

"Nothing." Audrey had replied, a goofy grin still plastered all over her face, "I'm just happy. Is that a crime?"

Mother sighed in exasperation. "Of course not, Audrey, but you need to take your safety more seriously! I was _worried_ about you!"

That made Audrey's smile dim a bit, but only for a moment, as the idea of mother being _worried_ sunk in. Of course mother loved her, Audrey had always known that, despite the distance in their relationship. But mother very rarely mentioned or showed it, and so very often, despite the knowledge that _of course she did_**, **Audrey didn't _feel_ as though mother loved her. But mother's admission of being worried had suddenly reminded her, and in that moment Audrey felt more fond of mother than she had in awhile.

Impulsively, she leaned forward to hug mother, smile still firmly on her face. Mother seemed very surprised, stiffening, but after a moment she hugged Audrey back and stroked her hair, the way she used to do when Audrey was little.

"I'm sorry, mother." Audrey said sincerely, "I didn't mean to make you worry about me."

Mother relaxed further, stroking Audrey's hair one last time before pulling back. "Just make sure it doesn't happen again." She said, back to her old self, but for awhile at least, Audrey would see her differently. Tomorrow, everything would be back to normal, but tonight, Audrey would be more aware than usual of the fact that mother did in fact care about her.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

She had just gotten off the phone with Cherry later that night after dinner, who had called to tell Audrey about a party at Bob's house that weekend. Audrey had accepted, still feeling bright and positive about everything and looking forward to the prospect of a party. She was about to dial Dawn's number and excitedly tell her everything that had happened that day, when, quite to Audrey's surprise, the phone rang.

Startled, she picked up the receiver. "Hello?" She asked, forgetting to specify who she was.

"Um, hi. Is Audrey Miller there?"

The voice had been distorted through the phone line, which was likely the reason that he couldn't recognize her, but Audrey knew that raspy voice.

"Johnny?" She asked, that breathless quality returning to her voice. "Johnny, is that you?" Of course, she had given him her number, but over time as he hadn't used it, she had somehow assumed he never would. But it made sense that he would call now. After all, she was his girl now. Right? Well, he hadn't actually _asked_, but-

"Yeah… I guess this is Audrey, then?"

"Yeah." She said distractedly as a new, much more pressing thought occurred to her. "Johnny, where are you? You're not- Oh gee, you're not at _home_ are you?" She asked, horror creeping its way into her voice as she said 'home'. What a joke. As if that house could ever be Johnny's home.

He scoffed a little down the phone. "Nah, I ain't at home. Wouldn't be peaceful enough to call if I was home. I'm at Pony's- gonna spend the night."

Audrey felt her whole body sag in relief. She hadn't even realized she'd tensed up in the first place. "That's good." She said, completely unable to keep the relief from coloring her voice. Evidently Johnny heard it.

"Where you worried about me?" He asked, and his voice sounded like he might have been smiling. She blushed at the question, though she wasn't quite sure why. She'd made it abundantly clear by this point that she cared what happened to him.

"Yes." She whispered down the line. "Of course I was. I care about you, Johnny."

It was silent for a moment, and she wished she knew what he was thinking. But she still felt vulnerable from her admission, so she didn't ask. Instead she said "Was there any particular reason you called?"

"Oh, uh, no. I just… well, I wanted to talk to ya, and I figured since you're my girl now-"

Audrey gasped when he said that, the stupid smile coming back. So she _was_ his girl then!

Johnny apparently took her gasp the wrong way though, because he started backtracking. "Well, I mean- I guess you don't _have_ to be my girl-"

"No, no!" Audrey interrupted quickly. "No, I'm your girl! I want to be your girl!" She blushed again, but nevertheless, she was happy she'd gotten the words out.

The line was quiet for a minute, and this time, Audrey almost _did_ ask him what he was thinking, but before she could, he spoke "Well, I guess you're my girl then." She liked how he said it with a tone of pride in his voice, like he was proud of _her_. It was moments like these where Audrey could really see herself falling in love with him one day.

For several minutes afterwards, the line was silent, but Audrey didn't feel the need to fill it. It was comfortable, and she was content to listen to the sound of his breathing. It had almost lulled her to sleep when she thought of a question.

"Hey, Johnny?" She asked drowsily.

"Yeah?"

"What's your favorite color?"

He seemed surprised by the question, because for several moments he didn't speak. "…Why?" He finally asked.

Audrey sighed, sitting up so she wouldn't actually fall asleep in the middle of the conversation. "Well… I know your personality and who your friends are and about your home life- you know, the big stuff… but what about the little stuff? I want to know everything about you, right down to your favorite color."

It was true. Audrey had a burning desire to know _everything_ about him, to know him inside and out, to know _exactly who he was_-

"I'm not sure I have a favorite color." He finally said.

Audrey frowned. "How can you not have a favorite color?"

"I dunno… I don't really look at colors, I guess."

"That's sad." Audrey decided. "What is life like with no colors?"

He was quiet for a minute, as though pondering on that.

"Well, what's _your_ favorite color, Audrey?"

She didn't even have to think about it. "Green. You ever laid under a tree on a sunny day? That bright, pretty green the leaves go when the sun's behind them? I love that color. It reminds me of summer."

"D'ya like summer?" He asked.

She nodded, and then remembered he couldn't see her. "Summer's my favorite season."

He went quiet again, before finally asking "Why?"

"Because… I don't know, I think it's just the most exciting, you know? Everything's green and there are so many animals, and by that time all the flowers have bloomed so there are colors everywhere. I think it's really beautiful. Plus the sun's always shining, so it's warm, and the bees are buzzing. I don't like bees, but the sound they make is so relaxing. And even when the weather's bad, down here in Oklahoma you guys get those really neat thunderstorms. There was this one last month where I swore I felt the ground vibrate when it thundered, and I like to sit at the window and watch the lightning. Summer's just _exciting_!"

She immediately felt silly, going into so much detail as to why she liked a _season_ of all things, but she wondered if maybe what she said hadn't inspired him, because the next thing he said was,

"Y'know what Audrey? I'm gonna start lookin' at colors more. And I'll tell ya when I pick a favorite, alright?"

Audrey smiled. She liked the fact that the things she said had an effect on him. That he listened and cared about her opinions. "Okay. Make sure you don't forget."

"Believe me, I ain't gonna forget."

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

Audrey came to realize over the next week that school was different now. For one thing, she was always excited to go, because Johnny made more of an effort than ever to be in everyday, so she was almost guaranteed to see him.

When they walked past each other in the hallways she could barely contain herself from running to him right there in the middle of school. She would have too, if she had any reason to believe the Socs wouldn't 'jump him' as people down South apparently called it. But she managed to only smile and wave, as she had always done, though she thought that maybe her smiles were wider and her waves more manic because Dawn had figured it out the very next day and Cherry was beginning to view the interactions with suspicion.

Another thing about the hallways was Johnny's friends. After about a week, Audrey was sure they must know she was Johnny's girl. Sodapop was the most outright friendly of them. He always smiled at her and a few times he'd even walked her to class, and Audrey could only assume that the Socs didn't care because Sodapop Curtis was so good-looking and gentlemanly that most girls had been seen talking to him at one time or another. She suspected the first time he'd walked her to class though it had been some kind of test, because he'd been much more cautious with her and had asked loads of questions. It was only as he had dropped her off at Health that he smiled widely at her and said,

"Y'know, ya seem like a real sweet girl, Audrey."

And ever since then he'd been perfectly nice and friendly with her. She could only assume she had _his_ seal of approval, at the very least. Two-Bit was still somewhat cautious, but Audrey didn't hold it against him. She knew that dating her probably wasn't the safest thing Johnny had ever done, and Audrey liked the fact that his friends cared enough to make sure she wasn't going to hurt him. Especially since his parents didn't. In any case, it hadn't stopped Two-Bit from being nice to her, and she was just thankful that not everyone was like Steve Randle. She didn't understand how he was Sodapop's best friend. He was just… he was so… well… he was _rude_. Always sneering and scowling. And that was when he wasn't ignoring her. Personally, Audrey preferred the latter.

Just to confirm that they did in fact know, one day in English she'd leaned over to Johnny and said "Johnny, did you tell your friends about us?"

He leaned closer as well, so their faces were mere inches apart, and it took everything she had not to kiss him.

"Well, yeah. I mean, I told Pony, and then I figured I might as well tell Soda and Two-Bit and Steve cause they go to school with us, and then it seemed stupid not to tell Dally and Darry too… you don't mind, right?" he asked, suddenly anxious.

"No, no. I was just wondering because they've been paying more attention to me. Sodapop seems nice, I like him."

Johnny nodded, smiling. "Don't think there's anybody that don't like Soda."

Audrey laughed a little. "Yeah, him and Two-Bit, they've been nice to me… Sodapop a little more, but I think Two-Bit's just worried about you."

Johnny snorted. "Maybe. You wanna know what he said when I told him you were my girl?"

"What?" Audrey asked, still feeling a little thrill every time he called her 'his girl'.

"He goes 'Well Johnnycake, if you're gonna go 'round datin' a Soc, least she's blonde' Two-Bit has a thing for blondes, ya see." Audrey had to put her hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles when Johnny made his voice deep and slurred for Two-Bit, because if there was one thing she'd heard about him then it was that he liked to drink.

"Miss Miller?" Mr. Syme asked from the front. "Something you would like to share with the class?"

Biting her lip, she shook her head. "No sir, I'm sorry."

When Mr. Syme turned back to the board, Johnny had given her smile that melted her heart and whispered, "Man, you really are a Soc aren't ya? 'No sir, I'm sorry.'" he imitated, looking at her in a way that made her want to hold him and never let go.

She smiled, mostly at the fact that he felt comfortable enough with her to tease her, before saying "Johnny Cade, if you don't quit making fun of me, I won't kiss you after class!"

He'd stopped making fun of her pretty quick.

That was what she loved most about school. The talks with Johnny. And the way he'd hold her hand when everybody was facing the front. Sometimes all of their fingers would lace together and other times they'd sit there with just their pinkies linked, and they'd make a game of seeing who could twist their little finger away from the other first. Audrey usually won, though she suspected Johnny let her, but as she pulled her hand away triumphantly he'd always snatch it back, and this time he'd hold it so firmly she knew she'd never get away. She always felt so safe when he did that, and whenever he did, she always made sure to give him extra kisses later.

And he still called her on the phone every night. He never missed a night, even if it meant they had to have short conversations because he was using a payphone. She loved that he never forgot, and he always called her at the same time, 9:00 every night. By 8:45, even though she _knew_ he wouldn't call for another fifteen minutes, she'd be staring at her phone in anticipation, waiting for it to ring. Those were always the longest fifteen minutes of her day.

It was during one of these phone calls that Audrey finally asked the question that had been on her mind all week.

"Johnny, I know that we can't let the Socs see us, but isn't there anywhere in town where we could go on like… I don't know, kind of a date, I guess?"

"Yeah, I've been thinkin' bout that too." Johnny said, and Audrey found herself breathing a sigh of relief that she wasn't the only one that wanted to go on a date. How embarrassing would that have been?

"And?" she prompted.

"And… I figure we could go to a vacant lot or somethin'. I know it wouldn't be much of a _date_ really, but it would be outside o' school, wouldn't it? And we'd be alone. We haven't really gotten to be alone a whole lot, huh?"

Audrey smiled. "No, we haven't. A vacant lot's not that bad. We'll be outside so if we go at night, we can see the stars. I really love the stars, Johnny, but there were too many streetlights in Seattle, so you couldn't see them properly."

"You like the stars, huh?" he said, a thoughtful tone in his voice. Audrey thought that, like colors, maybe Johnny had never paid a whole lot of attention to the stars.

"Mhm." She hummed into the receiver. "I don't know, maybe we could make it like a dinner date? Bring food in a picnic basket or something?" She almost said 'wouldn't that be romantic?' but she bit her lip before the words escaped, afraid of how girly they'd sound.

"I'm real sorry I don't got the money to take ya on a real dinner date, Audrey." Johnny said, and she suddenly wished she'd left it at the stars and never mentioned the stupid picnic basket in the first place, because she _hated_ the fact she'd made him feel badly about himself. "I did warn ya though, didn't I?" He continued. "That I wasn't gonna be able to take ya nowhere."

"Hey, Johnny, no." She said softly. "Don't say stuff like that. I don't care _where_ we go, so long as we're together, okay? Didn't I already tell you that I don't care about going places? All I meant by a date was somewhere outside of school."

"Ya sure?" he asked.

"I'm sure."

"Okay." His voice was quiet when he said it, but Audrey could tell from his tone that her words had somewhat reassured him. She quickly steered away from the topic of a date, but only after they'd arranged for one on Sunday, and Audrey smiled stupidly for the whole rest of the night.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

On Friday Audrey stared off into space as Cherry and Marcia's voices drifted in and out of her consciousness somewhere off to her left. She found herself lost in the blur of the ceiling fan. For a moment she absent-mindedly wondered why Cherry needed a ceiling fan in October, but then her thoughts blanked again.

This was a technique she had employed a lot ever since her date with Johnny had been arranged. She found most of her thoughts centered around this event, and since she had difficulty in containing her excitement, she thought that maybe it would be better if she just didn't think. So far it had worked well, except for the fact that it seemed to make her zone out, but she didn't really care about that.

She felt the bed shift underneath her, and then Cherry was shaking her shoulder.

"Audrey! Hey, Audrey! C'mon Audrey, I gotta ask you about Johnny Cade, and Marcia's only gonna be in the bathroom for a minute!"

Audrey blinked and focused on Cherry's face, which was now blocking the ceiling fan.

"What?" she asked.

"Are you datin' Johnny Cade?" Cherry asked, whispering, though Audrey wasn't sure why because the bathroom was all the way down the hall from Cherry's room. "Only you've been actin' different all week- like real happy, and you pay even more attention to him than you did before. So? Are you?"

Audrey sat up and looked behind Cherry to the door, making sure Marcia hadn't come back yet.

"Yes." She said, resuming eye-contact with Cherry. "But you can't tell, okay? Just like you couldn't tell before."

But Cherry just rolled her eyes. "I wasn't gonna tell, you already made me promise. I just wanted to know. But you remember your promise to me, alright?"

Audrey nodded, remembering how she'd promised to tell Cherry if Johnny ever hurt her. She also remembered how unnecessary of a promise it was. Johnny wouldn't ever hurt her, not on purpose anyway.

_But hasn't he already_? Spoke up a little voice inside. _Didn't it hurt when he denied you, that first time you kissed him_? Shut up, she told it. Johnny had been trying to do something noble. Something that was supposed to benefit her in the end.

But Audrey was quickly beginning to feel like _Johnny_ was the only thing that would benefit her in the end.


	12. Every Breath

Chapter 12: Every Breath

**Disclaimer: I only own OC's**

**The first thing I would like to say is that **_**AnimeFan202**_**'s story, 'Set Fire To The Rain', (it's a Johnny romance, so I know you guys will like it) is the story that inspired me to write the first chapter of 'A Thousand Years'. You should go check it out, it's really good : )**

**Aaaaaand, here's chapter 12- I'm super excited! Audrey meets Dally in this chapter, along with Darry and Ponyboy! But I'm most excited about Dally, lol! I would like to thank **_**AnimeFan202**_** for checking over my characterization. I know this is a day later than I said it would be, but it's also twice the length it usually is, so hopefully you forgive me :') I warn you, I doubt a chapter will ever be this long, ever again, so you better enjoy it! **

_**Pixie silver**_**: As always, thank you for your review :D I really appreciate that you always take your time to review**

_**Reverence of the Night Rain**_**: Thank you, lol, here's more to read!**

_**Wow**_**: Thank you, lol, I'm sorry I'm making your friends think you're weird! I'm so glad you like them together :D**

_**anna the viking XD**_**: Thank you for reviewing, and I think that's a very relevant quote XD**

_**Smiles436**_**: Thank you! :D I'm relieved you don't think they're too mushy**

_**OutsiderrFan101**_**: I will say nothing of foreshadowing, but I'm so happy you liked it! It's always great to gain a reader :D I'm so pleased you like my story so much, thank you!**

_**Gracie**_**: Aw thank you! I'm glad you finally decided to review- I love reviews :D I'm really happy you like it so much. I've felt that way about a lot of awesome stories, so it's really flattering to think you feel the same way about mine! As for Audrey- I didn't think she should be 'just' Johnny's girlfriend. I think successful characters need to be able to be characters on their own, before they get together with their significant other. **

_**Samantha**_**: Thank you so much! And thank you for calling it beautiful!**

_**DoingItForJohnny**_**: Lol, yeah, even though she's my character, I'm a little jealous of Audrey too ;)**

_**hola**_**: Haha, thanks for the suggestion! I have thought about doing that, but there's a lot of stuff happening in this story, so it's kind of one of those ideas that I'll use if I feel like the story needs pushing forward, but it's not a top priority right now. But thank you again for the suggestion! **

_**Not you**_**: Oh, yay, thank you, I'm so happy you like it! :D And thank you for calling it your favorite! **

_**Just obsessed, XxCheshireSmilexX, Yeastbaron, insanexnerd1544, Bridge on fire and AnimeFan202**_**: I've PM'd you guys, but thanks again for your reviews and support!**

**Thank you to all of you- readers, reviewer, fav-ers and followers**

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

On Saturday night Audrey and Cherry were getting ready for the party at Bob's house. Mother and Daddy hadn't been pleased that Audrey was attending a party at the Sheldon house. Until then, she had just about forgotten about their strange quarrel, but now her curiosity was renewed. What had torn the two families apart? Why was it that Daddy and Mr. Sheldon had spent their childhoods together, and yet now were reluctant to speak?__

Cherry had shown up in a maroon dress that brought out the dark tones of her hair. The moment they were in Audrey's room, she'd started rooting through Audrey's closet.

"Cherry… what are you doing?" Audrey asked, bewildered.

"Findin' you a dress," Cherry threw over her shoulder.

Audrey furrowed her brow and looked down at the yellow dress she was already wearing. She liked yellow, it looked pretty with her blonde hair.

"But I'm already wearing one," she pointed out.

Cherry stopped rifling through Audrey's clothing long enough to turn and look at her. "Well yeah, but yellow's a daytime color, isn't it? It's already 8:30, Audrey."

Audrey sighed. She guessed Cherry was right. Yellow did remind her of sunshine, now that she thought about it. "Well fine, but I don't want to wear anything red. I don't look as good in it as you do, it makes me look washed out."

Cherry nodded, and Audrey heard metal screech as hangers were shoved down the pole. After a couple of minutes, the redhead re-emerged holding out a hanger with a dark blue dress on it. Audrey hadn't gotten a chance to wear it yet because it had a short skirt, and so far she hadn't gone to any parties where that that type of clothing would be appropriate. It definitely wasn't appropriate for Daddy's work functions. Besides, Daddy still didn't approve of Audrey wearing skirts that were above her knees.

"You should wear this," Cherry said unnecessarily. Audrey had gotten the point when she pulled the dress out of the closet. "It'll make your hair look shinier."

Cherry was right. The dark blue did make the gold in her hair shine, and it also made her light blue eyes look brighter in comparison. Audrey wished, as she was looking in the mirror, that she had such good fashion sense.

Cherry smiled at her in the mirror. "You look beautiful, Audrey." Then her grin became teasing. "Betcha Chris won't be able to take his eyes offa you."

Audrey made a strangled little groaning sound of exasperation that made Cherry laugh. She turned around to talk to the other girl properly.

"Oh, Cherry, I know it was the right thing to do, but I just feel bad! He's always staring at me like I kicked his puppy!"

Cherry raised her eyebrows. "Yeah, well, that's not the only reason he's starin', Audrey. The boy still likes you. Just cause you don't like him back, it makes no difference."

Audrey sighed, leaning over to pick up her purse. "I just wish he'd get over it. It's not happening."

Cherry was quiet for a minute, staring at the floor with her arms crossed. Audrey frowned. "What is it, Cherry?"

Cherry looked up and made eye-contact. "It's not happenin' because you're with Johnny Cade now." It wasn't a question.

"Yes," Audrey replied, silently thinking about how even though Cherry tried her best to be understanding for Audrey, she really wasn't. It was in the way she always used his full name 'Johnny Cade'. Polite enough not to insult him in front of Audrey, but distant enough to convey disapproval. "That's one reason," Audrey continued.

Cherry was still looking at her expectantly, and Audrey sighed. "Cherry, you know I didn't like the way he followed me around, pestering me for a date. I've never liked Chris."

"Well, yeah," Cherry started, "but by then you already liked Johnny Cade! How d'ya know that that's not the reason you didn't like him? Maybe… maybe if you'd never met Johnny Cade, you would've liked Chris. Maybe you like Chris _now_ and you just don't let yourself see it cause you're so focused on Johnny Cade! If that's the case, Audrey… you should pick Chris. I mean, I know you're always sayin' Johnny Cade is a real nice guy, and I dunno, maybe he is, but he isn't gonna get you anywhere in life, Audrey! Chris is wantin' to be a doctor one day, you know that? He could-"

But Audrey had finally had enough. "Shut up," she hissed, more angry than she could ever remember being, and how dare Cherry talk about Johnny like he was nothing? He was an awful lot more than Cherry, in Audrey's book. Cherry's jaw dropped, surprised, but she stopped talking. "Cherry Valance, you have no _idea_ what you're talking about. I know exactly how to tell whether or not I like a boy, _thank you very much_, and I _definitely_ do _not_ like Christopher Shay! And even if I did, which I _don't_, who are you to tell me who to choose? What if I liked Johnny more and I chose Chris because- because _what_? He has more _money_? Cherry, I know you're a nice person, but sometimes when it comes to the Greasers, you're so close-minded I could strangle you. You need to think about the things you're saying before they come out of your mouth, you understand me, because right now, you sound _so_ shallow."

Cherry's eyes seemed to get bigger with every word Audrey spoke, and far from feeling guilty for hurting Cherry's feelings, she felt satisfied. Those were exactly the kinds of things Johnny was always saying about himself, and now Audrey understood why. It wasn't just because the Greasers compared their lives to the Socs, but also because the Socs compared their lives to the Greasers. In terms of material wealth, both sides knew who it was that was lacking. And the Socs took every opportunity to rub it in the Greasers' faces. It was people like Cherry Valance that made Johnny feel the way he did, and something inside Audrey wanted to make Cherry feel as bad as she made Johnny feel.

Audrey liked her friends, she really did. They could be so fun, and often they had a lot in common. But the more she found out about the Soc/Greaser feud, the more she uncovered a side of the Socs that she couldn't stand. And in some ways, it made her ashamed to be grouped with them.

Cherry, however, was quickly finding the fire that redheads are known for. "You," she started, "I can't believe you- you're callin' me _shallow_? I was only tryin'a look out for you-"

"Well don't!" Audrey cut her off, marching past angrily.

The two made their way downstairs in tense silence, and Audrey couldn't wait to get to the party, where there would be other people to distract her from Cherry. They were just about to walk out the front door when Daddy's voice made them turn around.

"Audrey, you're not leaving the house in _that_?" He said, looking in horror at the short hemline of her dress.

"Yes, Daddy, I am. It's only a party with high school students, it'll be fine."

For a moment, she expected Cherry to back her up, the way she normally would have done, but when she looked over at the redhead she was tight-lipped and angry, and Audrey remembered that she'd called her shallow.

Alright, so maybe she was beginning to regret that. She still thought that Cherry had been shallow, but she shouldn't have lashed out. It wasn't specifically Cherry's fault that Johnny couldn't see how amazing he was. In fact, Audrey very much doubted the two had ever spoken to each other at all. Though she did know the way disapproval could seem to just radiate off a person, but Cherry was too nice to do that on purpose.

But Audrey still felt that for the most part she was in the right. And it made her too proud to apologize.

"But- but you're _indecent_!" Daddy spluttered and Audrey had to bit her lip to keep from laughing because he sound like some stuffy Victorian. Golly, it was 1965! How much more modern could you get?

"Daddy, I'm not indecent! Lots of girls wear short skirts now- it's acceptable! Come on Daddy, let us go, you're going to make us late," she pleaded.

Daddy mumbled something about how it certainly was _not_ acceptable for _his_ daughter, but in the end he let them go. The walk to the party, though only around the corner, was also tense and uncomfortable.

It was only when they got to Bob's house that they looked at each other in confusion.

"Are there normally this many people…?" Audrey asked, uncertain. From the way Cherry had described these parties, it had sounded like only friends were invited. It looked like Bob had invited half the school.

Cherry shook her head. "No."

They carefully picked their way inside through the throng of teenagers. Audrey sucked in a breath when they got inside. There was an Elvis song playing, and lots of boys were trying to imitate the way he moved his hips. Audrey couldn't decide whether to laugh or blush.

"Is that a beer keg?" Cherry asked. When Audrey looked over she saw that there was, in fact, a beer keg. "But we're not of age!" Audrey whispered urgently. "Do you guys _normally_ have beer kegs?"

"No!" Cherry said. "I know lots of other Socs that drink alcohol at their parties. Sometimes they even have beer blasts, but we've never done that! What the _hell_ is Bob thinking!?"

Audrey was taken aback by Cherry swearing, but she was distracted when they spotted Bob and David, the new boy, the one that used to be a middle-classer, pouring alcohol into a funnel over their mouths and gulping it.

"Glory, those _idiots_!" Cherry exclaimed. "Don't they know how dangerous that is?"

"I guess not," Audrey said, wide-eyed.

Cherry marched straight over to them, and Audrey reluctantly followed, not wanting to be left alone. The party had only started maybe twenty minutes ago at the most, but a lot of these kids already looked drunk.

Cherry reached out and grabbed Bob's arm, spinning him around. He'd been about to drink out of the funnel and beer went spilling down over Bob's head and the front of Cherry's dress. Audrey wrinkled her nose at the smell.

Cherry made a little screeching noise and stomped her foot. "Bob Sheldon, what the _hell_ d'you think you're doin'? Oh, your parents are gonna skin you alive when they find out what you're doin'! Where _are_ your parents, Bob, cause I know they can't be here!?"

But Bob didn't seem to have registered any of that. He stumbled a bit closer to Cherry and laughed, only it was off, much too loud. "Aw, Sherrrrry baby, M'sorry 'bout yer dressss," he said. And then he reached out and tried to wipe the alcohol off of her, his hands repeatedly brushing her breasts in the process.

Audrey's eyes widened again and Cherry immediately shoved him back so hard he fell into the table behind him. Once he saw he'd fallen on his butt, all he did was laugh again.

"Oh my Lord, you're drunk, aren't you Bob? You're _drunk_. My God, you're so pathetic! I'm not wastin' another _minute_ of my time here! C'mon Audrey, let's go."

Cherry grabbed her arm and the two left the party. As soon as they were out on the street again in the cool night air, Cherry began to cry.

"My favorite dress is _ruined_, my boyfriend is an _idiot_, and I've completely _embarrassed_ myself!" She wailed, and Audrey felt sorry for her, wrapping an arm of comfort around the other girl as they walked.

"Hey, it's not as bad as all that," Audrey soothed, "You didn't embarrass yourself, okay? Most of the kids there were drunk, I doubt they'll remember anything. And if _anyone_ should be embarrassed, it's Bob. He was a total dweeb tonight. You guys can sort everything out when he's sober, okay, don't worry about him for now. And you can buy a _new _dress, a _better_ dress, okay, so don't worry about that, either."

Cherry nodded into Audrey's shoulder as she sniffled, and they kept walking slowly towards their houses. Just before they were about to go inside though, Cherry turned to look at her.

"Hey, Audrey… I'm… I'm real sorry about what I said earlier. Y'know, about Johnny Cade? I guess it's not my decision and… well… if tonight's taught me anything it's that Soc boys and Greaser boys can be just as stupid as each other."

Audrey smiled slightly. "I'm sorry too, you know," she said, "for calling you shallow."

Cherry shook her head. "No, I… I _was_ bein' shallow. I don't mean to be, but… well, I don't have any experience myself, but from what I've seen, life without money can be real rough. I just… I think that's somethin' you should think about. Y'know, while you're decidin'."

Audrey smiled again. It was strange, wasn't it, how she and Cherry seemed to disagree the most whenever Cherry tried to look out for her? But Cherry still didn't quite understand how Audrey felt, how much she cared about Johnny. She thought there was still time to sway Audrey. But in the same way that Audrey had been labeled a Soc before even understanding what that _was_, her sense of commitment towards Johnny had built itself within her before she'd even let herself acknowledge she had _feelings_ for him.

"Thanks Cherry, but I'm pretty sure that the decision has already been made."

Cherry studied her for a moment, curiously, as though observing a new, previously unknown creature, and Audrey thought that maybe she was beginning to understand.

"You really like him, don't you?" Cherry finally asked.

Audrey laughed a little. "I really, _really_ like him."

Cherry nodded, though she still looked half-confused, half-curious, like she didn't understand how a Soc and a Greaser could possibly like each other, but at the same time she wanted to know more.

"Alright. Remember your promise," she called over her shoulder as she started to head back towards her house.

"As long as you remember yours," Audrey called back.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

On Sunday, Audrey ran into a problem. She was all ready to go on her date with Johnny, but it only occurred to her after she'd finished getting ready-

How was he planning on picking her up?

Surely he wouldn't come to the front door? She could concede that he wasn't the smartest kid in school, but he had _more_ than enough common sense to make up for it. He was far smarter than her, in that sense, she wasn't afraid to admit.

Just when she was about to devolve into a full-blown panic attack, because they _should have sorted this out sooner_, she heard a tap at her window. It distracted her from her thoughts and she turned to look at the glass in confusion. What was that?

A moment later she got her answer. She saw something small and dark fly up to the window against the twilight sky before hitting the window with another little 'tap'.

Was that a pebble?

She stood from her bed, and went to the window. Sure enough, Johnny Cade was standing in her backyard, half hidden behind the tree outside her window as he threw pebbles to get her attention. She made sure he could see her before she opened the window, so he wouldn't accidentally throw one of them at her.

"What are you doing!?" she half-yelled, half-whispered out the window. Of course, she _knew _what he was doing, but it was so like all the stories that she felt the need to check and make sure.

"I'm pickin' you up. Unless you want me to knock on your front door?"

"No!" Audrey called. "Don't do that! I'll be down in a minute!" Then she closed the window again. She looked at the tree. If only she was brave enough to try climbing down it, then this would be exactly like the movies.

Instead she quickly went downstairs and when she saw her parents in the living room she said "I'm going over to Cherry's. I don't when I'll be back," to which all they said was "Okay." She then left through the front door before going around the side of the house and into the backyard. When she saw Johnny, still half behind that tree, she ran to him and hugged him tightly, laughing as her arms slid around his neck.

"Johnny, what were you doing? What would you have done if my parents had seen you?" she asked, kissing first his cheek and then his lips. His arms slid around her waist as he looked at her. Perhaps the kissing and the laughing was why he didn't take her reprimands seriously. She'd have to work on that. She just always got so _happy_ when she saw him, she couldn't seem to control herself.

"Well I dunno, it was the only thing I could think of. I didn't think 'bout _how_ I was gonna pick you up till I got here. You're not mad, are ya Audrey?" he asked, though he still didn't seem too worried about the possibility. She wondered if maybe she should be, but she wasn't.

Instead she rubbed her nose playfully against his. He still often seemed surprised when she did things like this, surprised at both their frequency and by her desire to be close to him. She wished he wasn't, it reminded her of the fact that other than his friends, very few people were ever close to him for a purpose other than hurting him.

"No, Johnny," she whispered, "I'm not mad." She gave him another quick kiss before pulling away and grabbing his hand.

"Lead the way, Mr. Cade," she said, smiling playfully at him. He smiled back softly as they made their way towards the lot. For the most part they walked in comfortable silence, their joined hands swinging between them, but every once in awhile they'd think of something to say and they'd bend their heads close together and speak quietly. There was no need to, really, the path they walked had very few people, and none their age that would care about seeing them together, but the intimacy of it delighted Audrey.

"You know, Cherry Valance knows about us," she said to him at one point. He looked alarmed by this, his already large eyes widening.

"I thought you only told your friend- what was her name again? Dawn?" Audrey nodded.

"Yes, Dawn. But I also told Cherry."

"But she's a _Soc_!" He whispered to her.

"Yeah, well everyone calls me a Soc as well, don't they?"

"Yeah, but you're not like the rest of 'em, are ya? I mean, ya don't act like them. You're rich, but you ain't no Soc." He looked at her fondly then, and her heart just about stopped when he said "You're just Audrey, aren't ya?"

She looked at the ground, smiling and squeezed his hand before she remembered she needed to convince him that Cherry knowing wasn't a bad thing. She turned her head to look at him again, noticing absent-mindedly as she did so that the area they were walking into was starting to look more rundown. The cars were dusty and dented, the tar on the roads cracked, the paint on the houses faded and peeling. One screen door hung onto the frame by a single hinge.

So this was the South side of town.

"Listen, Johnny, I know you're uncomfortable with her knowing, but she's not going to tell anybody!" she insisted.

"Yeah, but how d'ya know?" Johnny asked.

"She's already known for awhile now, anyway. If she really wanted to say something than she could have a million times over by now. Look _I_ trust her, can't that just be enough?"

He ran his fingers through his heavily greased hair nervously with the hand that she wasn't holding, before he finally said "Fine." He didn't sound too happy about it, but Audrey smiled nonetheless and rewarded him by leaning over and kissing his cheek.

It was another ten minutes before they reached the empty lot and by then darkness had fallen. Audrey was right, they _could _see the stars, and the excitement in her voice as she pointed this fact out to Johnny had made him smile at her. She loved when he smiled at her. He wasn't the type to just give smiles away, she knew, so the fact he smiled so often because of her meant a lot.

They ended up laying themselves out on the ground, and after blushing briefly, Audrey scooted closer to him. He took the hint and wrapped his arm around her, and she took the opportunity to snuggle closer and lay her head on his chest. Ignoring the scent of cigarette smoke, she focused on that delicious smell of freshly mowed grass beneath it. It was mixed with the smell of warmth. She didn't know how it was possible for warmth to have a scent, but Audrey always thought it did. And Johnny was so warm.

"Why d'ya like the stars?" Johnny asked her, and she felt the vibrations of his voice in his chest as he spoke.

"Hmm?" she asked, not sure what he meant. What wasn't there to like about the stars?

"You told me on the phone, earlier this week- you like the stars. You didn't never get to see them in Seattle though, cause of all the street lights? Is that why ya like them? Cause ya ain't never seen them before?"

Audrey thought she had a better idea of what he was asking now.

"I don't suppose you know anything about Greek mythology?" she asked, tilting her head so her chin rested on his chest, and she saw him shake his head 'no'. "I didn't think so," she said, rolling off of him so that they laid next to each other on their backs in the grass.

"When I was little, Daddy liked to study Greek mythology in his free time. He doesn't really anymore, but sometimes he'd sit with me and read me the stories. The myths were based off of the shapes that the Ancient Greeks saw in the stars. Daddy showed me how to read star maps and I spent so much time studying them to see where all the constellations were. I always wanted to actually see the stars, so that I could find the constellations in the sky instead of on a map."

When she turned her head to look at Johnny again he was looking at her so intently she blushed. He reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers, scooting closer so that their shoulders brushed. When he spoke there was a quiet urgency in his voice that made her really _listen_ to his words. "You really… you really _care_ about stuff, don't ya?" He asked, his eyes searching hers in a way that made her feel like he could see her very soul. "The stars, dancin', colors, summer… you get so- so- I dunno, so _passionate_. I really like that about you."

The way he was staring at her… it made her feel like- like she _mattered_. It made her feel beautiful, and important, and like he really _cared_ about her and her feelings and about what happened to her and the things that she said and thought. The feelings she had for him then were so intense they almost brought tears to her eyes. It had never been like this with Daniel. At the time, she thought she'd really liked Daniel, but with Johnny, right now, she understood that her feelings for Daniel had only been the surface stuff. What she was developing with Johnny was the _deep_ stuff. The stuff they wrote songs about. The stuff all those movies were dedicated to. And it was so strong that she almost felt like she wasn't quite ready, but it was too late now, because she was rapidly approaching the edge, and the closer she got, the less she wanted to run from it.

"I didn't forget, y'know," he whispered as he reached out to play with her hair, turning onto his side. She mirrored him, rolling onto her side so that their noses were brushing and their breath mingled. The night air around them was cool, but together they seemed to make a cocoon of warmth.

"Forget what?" she whispered back.

"To think about colors," he said, "and to tell you when I picked a favorite."

She bit her lip, scooting closer still. "And?"

"And… I think it's gold."

Audrey blinked. Somehow she'd been expecting a color from the rainbow. But of course, the world was rich with colors, and yet again, Johnny seemed to have seen and understood more of the world than Audrey did.

"And why's that?" she asked softly.

"It just… it seems to… it's… it's good."

Audrey furrowed her brow. "It's good?"

"Yeah, I… I thought of it… when I went home on Wednesday." He looked cautiously at Audrey as he said this. He'd apparently picked up on the fact the she didn't like him going home.

"Johnny, you went home?" she asked, tears already building in her eyes.

He nodded. "Yeah, and my old man… well y'know. As it happened I saw his gold watch. He should've sold it ages ago, it'd get us a lotta money, but he won't do it. And I'd been tryin'a think about colors, like you said, and it reminded me about Sunday school and how everyone talks about the golden gates of Heaven. It's just a good color y'know. Like, pure, I guess. And I just thought… well, Audrey, I thought that I wished things were gold at home."

Audrey really did start crying then. "Oh, Johnny," she said, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his shoulder because he really didn't need to see her crying _again_.

He played with her hair until she pulled back a little. He moved his face right next to hers.

"Ya wanna know what else is gold?" he asked.

"What?"

"Your hair."

Audrey laughed a watery little laugh. He did seem to like her hair an awful lot. She'd noticed that he liked playing with it.

They spent a little while with Audrey pointing out some of the constellations to Johnny, among them _Draco _and _Cassiopeia_, her two favorites because of the forms they represented: the dragon and the queen of Ethiopia.

Soon, however, it began to get colder, and things were not helped when the grass began to dew. Johnny helped her up.

"What now?" Audrey asked. She knew the date was probably over, but she didn't want it to be.

Johnny shrugged, looking like he wasn't all that eager to leave her either.

"I dunno, I figure I should take ya home now. 'Sides, Mrs. Curtis is waitin' for me to come and tell her all about our date." He rolled his eyes like he thought Mrs. Curtis was being ridiculous, but she could see the smallest hint of a smile on his face.

She giggled a little. "I didn't know Mrs. Curtis knew about our date."

He blushed a little, looking down at the ground. "Yeah, well, I'm always callin' you from her house, so she figured it out real quick. Plus, well… she said… she said that I was all happy and stuff and she figured it was a girl."

He mumbled the last part, blushing more heavily than she'd ever seen, but she heard it clearly and it just about made her melt into a puddle of mushy-Johnny-feelings.

"She kept tellin' me I should bring you 'round, but-"

"Yes!" Audrey blurted without thinking.

He looked up at her with a confused expression. "What?"

"I mean," Audrey corrected herself, "let's go see her. I can meet Ponyboy and Darry too, can't I? You're always talking about your gang and the Curtis'… they obviously mean a lot to you. I… I'd like to meet them, if that's okay?"

"Well, yeah, it's _okay_," Johnny said, "I just didn't think you'd want to."

Audrey frowned. "Well, why wouldn't I?"

"I dunno, I just didn't think you would."

"Well, I do."

"Alright then, let's go, I guess." Johnny said, grabbing her hand and beginning to lead her further into the South side.

"Are ya sure ya want to though, Audrey? Dally's gonna be there, I heard him sayin' he was gonna crash on their couch tonight, and Dally ain't always the nicest person."

Audrey nodded, looking at their linked hands. "I've only met some of your friends- Steve, Sodapop, Two-Bit. I want to meet the rest of them. Dally included."

"Alright." But the way he said it made Audrey wonder what she was getting herself into.

When they finally reached their destination, Audrey noticed that while definitely more rundown than any house she'd ever see on their North side, it was a lot better than most of the houses she'd come across on the South side. The paint looked fairly faded, but was not yet peeling, and there was a porch swing that looked fairly new, along with a very pretty garden. She supposed the latter must be the work of Mrs. Curtis.

Johnny walked into the house without knocking, and Audrey was struck by the unlocked door. She hated that she felt this way, but if she lived on the South side, her door would be locked at all times.

The living room was a bit messier than her house, but then again, what house wasn't? Another thing about Mother was her neat freak tendencies. Their house was always in sparkling condition.

There were two boys on the couch though. Audrey recognized Two-Bit at the same time that he recognized her. He looked surprised to see her, but then his face transformed into the most wicked grin she ever did see.

"Well, hello, Audrey darlin'. I must confess, never did think I'd see _you_ in Greaser territory."

Audrey laughed nervously. Not because of Two-Bit. But because of the other boy. And well, really, Audrey was just nervous about meeting so many people who were important to Johnny at once. Maybe she _shouldn't_ have come…

"Yeah, well, I guess we're all full of surprises, Two-Bit," Audrey said somewhat shakily.

The other boy had turned to look at her the second the name 'Audrey' left Two-Bit's lips. Audrey got chills just looking at him. He was a cold, mean-looking boy, with a shock of white-blonde hair and the iciest blue eyes she'd ever seen. His posture on the couch was relaxed. In fact, he acted like he owned the place with his feet up on the table, but there was something in the way he looked at her. It was almost predatory, like he was scanning her for weakness before he took her down. It unsettled her so much, she wanted to leave and never come back.

Looking at him though, she thought that maybe that was what _he_ wanted too. That thought gave her the resolve to stay put. His freezing cold eyes traced down to look at her and Johnny's hands, which were still laced together. The way he looked at their hands made her want to let go, but somehow she thought that that might just make his scrutiny worse, so instead she held on tighter. She felt Johnny do the same in response.

Audrey had never been given a description, but somehow, she just knew-

_This_ was Dally.

"Aye, so this is the little Soc girl," he drawled mockingly, a little smirk twisting his lips.

Before Audrey could think of a way to respond, two people entered the room from what looked like the kitchen. One was a very pretty woman with a large smile on a face surrounded by dark blonde curls, the same color as Sodapop's wheat hair. She guessed this was Mrs. Curtis. The other was a slender boy, maybe twelve or thirteen. He was a good-looking kid, with reddish brown hair all greased back and handsome features that resembled Sodapop's, but there was something about his eyes… they were quite wide, and an unusual gray-green color and there was a dreaminess to his expression and it was almost… not quite feminine, but something close. She quickly realized that this must be Ponyboy after noticing that all of those somewhat girlish qualities were shared by Mrs. Curtis.

"Did I hear Two-Bit say 'Audrey'?" Mrs. Curtis asked, a smile on her face as she looked at Audrey standing next to Johnny.

"Yes, ma'am," Audrey said shyly.

"Is Audrey here?" Sodapop's voice drifted from down a hallway, before the boy himself came out, smiling in that bedazzling way that he tended to. "Well, can't say I expected to see _you_ here, Audrey," he said, smiling. The way he looked at her made her feel better, like he approved of her decision to come.

She was just about to respond when Two-Bit laughed and cut in, "Yeah, well, we're all just full of surprises, ain't we, Soda?" he said, mimicking her words from earlier. If she weren't so nervous she'd find it funny, but now she was just embarrassed.

Mrs. Curtis came forward and put and arm around Audrey's shoulders in a motherly way that took her by surprise. As Mrs. Curtis began to lead her into the kitchen, she was forced to let go of Johnny's hand. He trailed along after them though.

"Well, it doesn't matter whether you _expected_ to see her, all that matters is she's here _now_. I've been wanting to meet you, Audrey. Would you like to stay for dinner?"

"Oh, no- that's okay. I don't want to impose-"

"Oh, you're not imposing! I've been curious ever since I found out Johnny liked you."

Audrey blinked. That implied that Johnny had talked about her even before they became boyfriend and girlfriend. She felt the heat rushing into her cheeks, especially when she noticed the curious way that Ponyboy was looking at her too.

"I- well, I guess if it's no trouble-"

"Nope. No trouble at all," Mrs. Curtis said, depositing Audrey into a kitchen chair around the table, where she was across from an older-looking boy with lots of muscles.

"Johnny, why don't you sit next to Audrey," Mrs. Curtis said as she checked some food and he quickly took the seat to her left, holding her hand under the table, which made her feel a little better, despite how overwhelming this was.

The boy across the table gave her a small smile. "Hi. I'm Darry," he said, reaching across the table to shake her hand. "I'm guessin' you're the famous Audrey." She blushed at being referred to as 'famous', but nodded. Ponyboy sat down in the seat to her right, still staring curiously.

"And I'm Ponyboy. So, you're really a Soc, huh?"

"Um… well, I mean, I _guess_ I am-"

"Of course she is," boomed Dally as he, Two-Bit and Sodapop joined the rest of them in the kitchen. "Just look at her. She's got 'Daddy's little rich girl' written all over her!" Audrey felt Johnny shift uncomfortably next to her, and she felt a little bad, because she could tell that he'd wanted Dally to like her.

"Oh, Dallas," Mrs. Curtis sighed. "I was hoping you could let us eat our dinner in peace. Apparently that was too much to ask for."

Audrey watched in fascination as this made Dally scowl and sit down heavily in the seat next to Johnny. Dally appeared extremely irritated at the reprimand, but he'd left it alone, for now. Audrey looked at Mrs. Curtis with a new sense of awe. Already she could tell that this was not an easy boy to silence.

The others sat down around the table and then a tall, burly man with dark hair came in as well. He looked startled when he saw Audrey among the bunch of boys, but when he looked at Mrs. Curtis all she said was "Honey, this is Audrey." Ah, so this was Mr. Curtis, then.

Apparently she _was_ 'the famous Audrey' because it seemed this was all the explanation Mr. Curtis needed. He nodded and sat down. Audrey observed with curiosity how once the food was served the boys seemed to fight over who got what first, even though there was obviously plenty to go around. She heard Mr. Curtis ask Sodapop where Steve was, to which he responded "Aw, his ma wanted him to go home."

Audrey sent up a silent prayer of thanks. She didn't think she could deal with both Dally _and_ Steve.

Once Mrs. Curtis had settled herself she smiled at Audrey. "So, Audrey. Tell us about youself. Do you like school?"

"Um… well, I guess it's alright. I get straight A's."

She heard Dally snort and say 'Of course you do." Audrey could tell Mrs. Curtis was about to say something but Ponyboy cut in from next to her,

"Ain't nothin' wrong with doin' good in school, Dal."

"Yeah, says the kid with the top grades," Sodapop said, but Audrey could tell from the smile on his face that he was only teasing.

"Aw, be quiet, Soda. Darry does alright in school too, and nobody makes fun of him," Ponyboy complained.

Two-Bit laughed at that "Nobody makes fun of Darry cause of all the brawn on him. Don't see any brawn on you, kid."

There were a few laughs at that, Audrey included, and she giggled harder when Darry reached over to slap Two-Bit upside the head. The way they interacted with each other was very interesting. In a way, all of the teasing reminded her of a tougher, more macho version of the way she and Dawn talked to each other.

But then Mrs. Curtis brought the attention back to her.

"Johnny tells me you dance, Audrey?"

She nodded. "Yes, ballet."

Dally laughed outright at that. "A _ballerina_? You're a fuckin' _ballerina_? You're telling me that you prance around in a fuckin' _tutu _all day?"

Johnny held her hand more tightly beneath the table, and as she glanced at him she saw he was anxious. While she did feel bad that Dally didn't like her, because it seemed important to Johnny, she was quickly becoming annoyed. "Yes. I do. Is there a problem?"

He snorted again. "Oh, no problem," he said, but as she turned away she heard him mumbling under his breath "A fuckin' _ballerina_, man."

Mrs. Curtis was beginning to look annoyed with Dally too, but she seemed to find it best to ignore him.

"Johnny also tells me that you have a role in a ballet?"

Audrey turned to look at Johnny more fully. He seemed to talk about her an awful lot. At Mrs. Curtis' remark, he'd looked down at the table, blushing. She smiled and squeezed his hand.

"Yes. In 'The Nutcracker'."

"Oh, that's becoming very popular," Mrs. Curtis said, "which role did you get?"

Audrey tensed. They would laugh. But she supposed, if she really wanted to be part of Johnny's life, and she did, then it was best to get it all out of the way now. And she needed to show them that she wasn't some weak little girl that would run away at the first sign of embarrassment.

Taking a deep breath, she said, "I'm the Sugarplum Fairy."

And that was when Dally choked on his food. Two-Bit roared with laughter, and slowly, everyone else at the table, Audrey included, started laughing as well. Except for Mrs. Curtis, that is. Even Mr. Curtis was chuckling a bit, and somehow seeing that just fuelled Audrey's own laughter. It was silly wasn't it? _The Sugarplum Fairy_. Could she sound any more pretentious, any more _ridiculous_?

Mrs. Curtis sighed and talked to Audrey over the laughter.

"Honestly, I don't know why they all find it so funny. The Sugarplum Fairy is the most famous part in the whole ballet."

Dally was still snickering. "The fuckin' Sugarplum Fairy! What's next, Goldilocks, you gonna sprout wings and fly around the room, grantin' wishes?"

She gained control of her own giggles so she could give him a sour look. "I think you're getting me confused with a Fairy Godmother. All _I_ get to do is twirl around stage in those tutus you seemed so fixated on earlier."

This remark amused the other boys into further fits of laughter, though Dally narrowed his eyes at her.

After that the dinner seemed to go much more smoothly. She suspected it was because she'd shown she was capable of standing up for herself. Dally was still rough, but she thought that maybe he was just usually that unpleasant. The other boys were just fine with her. Two-Bit didn't seem cautious at all anymore, and she wondered if maybe her entering 'Greaser territory' as he called it, had helped to demonstrate her commitment to Johnny.

All in all, it was a good night for Audrey, though the most irritating part was definitely as she and Johnny were leaving the Curtis' so he could walk her home, and Dallas saw fit to say to her in a sickly sweet voice as she was half-way out the door, "Bye bye, Sugarplum!"

She'd turned to scowl at him one last time, but then Johnny had pulled her out onto the front porch and the door was closed.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

It was only as they were walking back to Audrey's that she suddenly realized.

"Johnny, if Dally is staying at the Curtis' tonight, then where will _you_ sleep?"

He shrugged like it wasn't any big deal and said. "Dunno. Probably go back to that vacant lot and sleep there."

Audrey was horrified. "You're going to sleep _outside_? Johnny! It's getting colder! What if- what if you get _sick_ or something!? You can't sleep outside! What do you do when it _snows_!?"

He shrugged again, though he was avoiding her eyes now. "I make do. If it's really too cold then I just go home."

Audrey wasn't quite sure which prospect she found more upsetting.

"Johnny, you're not sleeping outside," she said firmly. Oh God, is _that_ why he always smelled like grass? Because half the time he slept in it?

He looked at her like _she_ was the one being ridiculous. "Well, what else am I gonna do? Dally's at Pony's, and I ain't goin' home. I don't even got no money to rent a room."

Audrey opened her mouth to tell him she'd give him money, but closed it upon remembering _she_ had no money either. Audrey was on a strict allowance, and just because her parents were wealthy didn't mean that money belonged to _her_.

Instead, she blurted out another solution, the first one that popped into her head.

"You can sleep at mine!" she exclaimed, without really thinking. Why, oh why did he make it _so hard_ to think?

He looked at her skeptically. She didn't blame him.

"Yeah, cause I'm sure your folks are gonna welcome me with open arms."

Again, she spoke without thinking. The part of her brain that was still working could only suppose she'd lost all brain function by this point. "They wouldn't have to know about it. You could- you could sleep in my room! With me!"

She blushed immediately upon realizing how _that_ sounded. Johnny was blushing too and looking at her with wide eyes.

"No, no-" she said quickly, "I didn't- that's not what I meant! We wouldn't _do_ anything, of course! It's just so you don't have to sleep outside."

He still didn't look convinced. They were drawing ever closer to her house and she didn't have much time to change his mind.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him to a stop before hugging him. She waited until he'd wrapped his arms around her as well to whisper into the denim material at his shoulder,

"Please, Johnny? Please? I'll just worry if you don't, _please_ stay at mine."

She knew his resolve was weakening when he reached up to play with her hair.

"But what if your parents find out?" he asked.

"They won't. They respect my privacy, they hardly ever come into my room, and if they do, they knock first. And our house is _huge_. They probably won't even be able to hear us talking unless they're directly outside of my bedroom! Please, Johnny?"

She pulled back and saw he still looked a little reluctant, so she gave him a brief kiss. "Please?" she asked again.

"Well… I guess… as long as you're sure they're not gonna find out…" he still looked like this whole idea was against his better judgement, but Audrey was so relieved that she didn't have to worry about him out in the cold all night that she didn't care.

"They won't, they won't!" she exclaimed, giving him another quick kiss before grabbing his hand and practically dragging him along behind her.

They encountered another problem when they got there though.

"How am I supposed to get in your room?" he asked.

It was a valid question. He couldn't just walk in the front door with her. Besides the fact that Mother and Daddy most definitely would not approve of Audrey having a boy in her room, the particular boy she had invited would most certainly not be welcome. Audrey didn't think that they were particularly intolerant people, especially not Daddy, but that didn't change the fact that they'd always envisioned her ending up with a doctor or a lawyer. Johnny Cade was neither, and was quite clearly not on is way to becoming one either.

She thought about earlier, when he'd come to get her. The way she thought if she'd had the courage to climb down that tree, it would've been just like in the movies. She turned to look at Johnny.

"I hope you can climb trees."

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

As it turned out, Johnny _could_ climb trees. She'd gone in the front door and let her parents know she was home. They asked her if she wanted dinner and she said she'd already eaten at Cherry's. They then allowed her to dash off to her bedroom. Once there, she saw her boyfriend perched on a branch just outside the window, and she quickly slid the glass up and helped him inside, before firmly shutting the cold air out again.

There was a moment of very awkward silence, in which they merely stared at one another.

Finally Audrey cleared her throat and headed towards her dresser. Gathering her nightclothes, she turned back to face him. "I'm just going to change in the bathroom," she said, tilting her head in the direction of the bathroom that connected to her bedroom. He looked at the door in surprise.

"Oh… I thought that was a closet door."

She shook her head. "No, the closet's over there," she said, pointing at the opposite side of the room.

"Oh."

There was more awkward silence until finally Audrey couldn't bear it anymore and scuttled off into the bathroom to get changed. When she came back out Johnny was laying on the floor. He'd taken off his jean jacket and his converse, and was just left in his jeans and a black t-shirt. She did her best to ignore the bruises on his arms, likely the result of him going home on Wednesday.

"Why are you on the floor?" she asked.

"Because you'll be on the bed."

She looked at her large double bed and back at Johnny. "It's big enough for us both."

He sat up and looked at her anxiously. "Are ya sure ya wouldn't be uncomfortable?"

She probably _would_ be uncomfortable at first, but she didn't tell Johnny that. "Yeah, I'm sure," she said, getting under the covers and leaving space for him to do the same. "Come on, get in, it's fine."

He shot a nervous look at the door. "But your parents-"

"Are not coming in," she reminded him.

He finally got in with her, still in his jeans. She wondered how comfortable that could be, but she was already not only letting him sleep in her room, but in her bed- she wasn't about to ask him to take his pants off as well.

It _was_ quite awkward and uncomfortable at first. Neither could sleep, hyperaware of the other person just inches away. The longer they were awake, the harder it was to fall asleep. Audrey hadn't accounted for the way the body heat of two people instead of just one would make it so much warmer. Almost too warm. She could hear him breathing next to her, the sound traveling across the space they had carefully placed in between them, and eventually, thankfully, it lulled her to sleep.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

**Aaaaaaaand, there's chapter 12! I hope you guys liked it! I want to thank **_**XxCheshireSmilexX**_** for giving me the idea to relate Johnny's feelings that gold equals goodness to his wishes for his home life XD Thanks for that!**

**Remember to review, guys!**


	13. Afraid to Fall

Chapter 13: Afraid to Fall

**Disclaimer: Except for the OC's (which exist in abundance) it's all SE Hinton's :'(**

**Okay, so, yes. I've changed the rating of this to M. No, it doesn't come into play yet, or in the next chapter, or in the one after that. Not for several chapters, actually. I just figured I'd give you guys fair warning. I know some of you may have been purposefully looking for a T-rated story, so when it comes to the lemon, I'll mark where it is so that those of you who don't want to read it don't have to. And for the rest of you- enjoy! I intended for this to have a lemon all along, but when it came to posting the story I got shy and decided to cut it. But with all of your lovely praise (thank you so much!) I've decided that I am confident enough to write that scene after all.**

**Also, did some research because I've mentioned the 'free love' movement in here once or twice- which was obviously picking up speed in the 60s, though I always got the impression that it was during the late 60s, but apparently the concept has been around since, like, the 1700s! So I figure it's not that implausible to have my characters beginning to talk about it. **

**To my fantabulous reviewers-**

_**Reverence of the Night Rain**_**: I'm so happy you love it! And thank you for another awesome review!**

_**Pixie silver**_**: Yeah, I tried to respond to your review earlier in the week, but your PM setting is off- which you probably did on purpose and I totally understand. But yeah, I know that Johnny got fixated on the gold thing at Windrixville- I have sound reasoning for bringing stuff like that in now, but I can't tell you here without giving out major spoilers for the story :'( And thank you about Dally's character! I was very worried about him. **

_**XxCheshireSmilexX**_**: Haha, yeah, didn't feel right taking credit though when it wasn't my idea! I'm glad I did justice to Dally! Audrey's parents **_**don't**_** catch them, but only because being found out so early would be damaging to my plot :D And thank you for saying my writing is great!**

_**Bindiyaglo**_**: Aw, thank you! **

_**anna the viking XD**_**: Lol, I'm glad you seemed to like Audrey's smart-aleck responses! I'm not sure how much more he'll exactly be getting dissed, but so far it's looking like they do have a bit of a snarky relationship :D**

_**greasergirl2012**_**: It's okay, there's no need to cry, they don't get caught! I'm glad my story inspires such emotion in you, though :')**

_**OutsiderrFan101**_**: Thank you! I'm glad that I portrayed Dally well enough for you to be able to tell his motives in treating Audrey the way he does. I was afraid I was going to have to explain it over and over and over again but apparently everyone else thought he was perfect too! And I'm so happy I've managed to create a caring relationship successfully between them :D **

_**Smiles436**_**: Haha, I'm glad you liked Ponyboy :D And yeah, I've been having fun with Mrs. Curtis' character especially!**

_**Just obsessed**_**: Here's your update!**

_**Silvermoon10123**_**: I love both your name and your cover pic :') I'm happy you like the story, I know a lot of people are iffy with OC stories- I myself am as well, actually. And yeah, she's my character and I'm jealous of Audrey too! BTW, I told Audrey Johnny was yours, and she's totally ready to engage in a catfight for him :D**

_**Gracie**_**: Lol, nope, not weird. I'm jealous of Audrey too :D You know, I visualize stuff as a movie when I read too! Also when I write, which might explain the way I describe things :D **

_**Yeastbaron**_**, **_**AnimeFan202**_** and **_**LunarLilies**_**: I've PM'd, but thank you for your reviews!**

**Thank you to all of you reading, reviewing, fav-ing and following! You guys make my day!**

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

The process of waking up on Monday morning was a slow one for Audrey. She'd never had any particular need for an alarm of any sort. She'd always been an early riser, and she rarely went to bed any later than 10:00. She tended to just naturally wake up around 7:00.

When she first started to drift away from the world of sleep, she was struck by the warmth. As the days got colder, she was more reluctant to leave the warmth of her bed in the mornings, but _today_… it was _so deliciously warm_. She sighed happily into her pillow, scooting closer to the warmth, which, oddly, came specifically from her left side. She thought she felt something brush against her arm, but she ignored it in favor of returning to that lovely aimless drift between sleeping and waking.

The next time she began to wake, the warmth was significantly more concentrated on the back of her neck. Every few seconds a wave of it was released over her neck, and there was something about that warmth that, strangely, made her shiver in delight. She pressed herself further back into it, not caring when her back pressed against something because it was all so wonderfully _warm_.

She was brought back to waking a few minutes later when the warmth left her. Cold air seemed to rush in around her from all sides and she curled into a protective ball as goosebumps ravaged her body. She shivered distinctly and she suddenly noticed a change. The bed _had_ been shifting underneath her, but when she shivered it stopped. But why would the bed be moving-

She sat up in bed with a gasp.

_Johnny_.

He was sitting on the edge of her bed, half-in, half-out, looking back at her with those big black eyes. There was a moment of heavy, extreme awkwardness as she looked at him in her bed. Just the thought made her blush, and her heart race. She swallowed hard and cleared her throat. She felt like she should say something, but her mind had gone completely blank.

Her mouth opened and she had no idea what was about to come out of it.

"Hi."

Oh, okay, that wasn't too bad.

"Hey," he said back, in a soft voice. For some reason it made her smile, and she didn't feel quite so awkward anymore. She wanted to kiss him, but she was still extremely self-conscious of the fact that they were in her bedroom, on her bed.

There was another slightly awkward moment as they stared at each other, but then Audrey looked away and pulled back the covers so she could get out of bed. She blushed hard when she realized her nightdress had ridden up to the tops of her thighs overnight, so the expanse of her legs could be seen. A quick glance at Johnny showed that he was blushing just as hard, and his eyes flickered rapidly between looking at the wall, then her exposed legs, and then the wall again.

As she quickly shoved the nightdress down, though, she realized that, actually, she wasn't upset with him for wanting to look, like she thought she'd be. In fact, it was kind of… _exciting_ that he wanted to look. She quickly banished that thought though. It was not at all lady-like. There were some girls who were eagerly joining the new trend of promiscuity, but Audrey was not raised like that, and those things were better left to after marriage.

She quickly slid out of bed and away from Johnny's dark gaze, hiding her shameful blush of excitement behind a long curtain of blonde hair. "Did you sleep well?" she asked, pretending to look out the window. In reality, she could still feel his eyes burning into her back, and it made her shiver in the same delightful way she did waking up. Surely this type of behavior wasn't normal? He must be driving her crazy.

She felt it, when he stopped looking at her, and a moment later she heard the rustle of her covers as he got the rest of the way out of her bed.

"Yeah, I slept real good," he said. She finally turned to look at him and saw him shrugging his jacket on. As he bent down to get his shoes, he looked at her through his greased bangs. "How'd you sleep?"

She blushed again and quickly broke eye-contact with him. There was no way she could possibly tell him it was the best night of sleep she'd ever had in her whole life. No way at all.

"Good," she managed to choke out through her embarrassment. She headed quickly over to her closet and got a set of clothes out for the day. She began to head into the bathroom to change, but then stopped and turned to look back at Johnny from the doorway. She needed to take a shower, and she felt awkward, knowing Johnny would be just behind the door-

It didn't end up mattering though. He seemed to sense her nervousness because after he finished putting his shoes on, he came over to give her a soft kiss on the cheek before opening the window and climbing out of her room.

"Thanks for lettin' me stay, Audrey," he said, the look in his dark eyes soft, before he climbed out of view. She walked towards the window and waited until he'd crossed the backyard and disappeared from her line of sight to close it.

She turned back to look at her room. Golly, what had she been thinking last night? Letting her boyfriend sleep in her bed with her, without Mother and Daddy's knowledge? Liking the fact that he was interested in her body? None of it was lady-like. Not at all.

Nevertheless, as she looked at the bed that she and Johnny had slept in, she couldn't stop her smile of wild excitement.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

She called Dawn on the phone that afternoon. She'd wanted desperately to tell her everything in Biology, but was wary of being overheard. So she'd kept it to herself all day, feeling like she just might explode, only to call Dawn the second she got done with cheerleading practice.

"So you guys went on a date last night, right?" Dawn asked immediately after realizing it was Audrey who called.

"Mhm," Audrey responded. "We went to the South side-"

"The South side?" Dawn interrupted. She herself lived in one of the less pricey houses on the North side, so she wasn't all that familiar with the South side. "What was that like?"

"Um… pretty much like you'd expect, I guess. Kind of run down. Can I tell you what happened now?" Audrey asked, slightly annoyed with the interruption.

Dawn huffed. "Well, fine! So-_rry_!"

"There's no need to get huffy."

"I'm not huffy! I'm waiting for you to get on with it!"

Audrey rolled her eyes, but began to tell the story.

"Anyway, we went to the South side and had our date at one of those abandoned lots-"

"An abandoned lot? Seriously?"

"Will you quit interrupting!?" Audrey snapped, "It wasn't as lame as it sounds, it was actually super romantic. We laid in the grass and watched the stars and talked about stuff, so hush up!"

Dawn huffed again, and Audrey made herself ignore the twinge of irritation she felt.

"Anyway," Audrey continued, "After that, he took me to the Curtis' house-"

Dawn made a little noise on the other end of the line, like she wanted to say something but was trying to stop herself from speaking. Audrey sighed. Dawn just wasn't a person that could be silenced.

"What is it, Dawn?" she asked, her voice full of exasperation.

"Why would he take you to the Curtis' house?"

"Oh." Audrey blinked in surprise. She'd forgotten that Dawn didn't know how close Johnny was to the Curtis family. "They're like, pretty much family to him. And I got to meet his friends."

"Oh. Huh. So, I guess it was kinda like practice for meetin' his real family, wasn't it?"

Audrey had to bite her lip to keep from saying something unfortunate about Johnny's 'real' family. Audrey had never told Dawn about the way they treated him, nor did she intend to. But she certainly hoped she never _had_ to meet them, because she couldn't guarantee she wouldn't do something stupid in a fit of absolute rage. She still didn't understand how they didn't love their incredible son, how they could possibly find it within themselves to _hurt_ him.

Just the thought of it still made her feel physically sick.

"Yeah, I guess so," she mumbled so Dawn would quit asking questions. "Anyway, about his friends. I met the other Curtis boys, Ponyboy and Darry, and I met his friend, Dally-"

"Dally? You mean _Dallas_? As in _Dallas Winston_? You met _Dallas Winston_!? Audrey, he's one of the toughest hoods in Tulsa!"

Audrey once again found herself caught by surprise, though she couldn't say she was particularly shocked. There was something about Dally that was most definitely off-putting, and standing in the Curtis' living room while he'd surveyed her from the couch, she couldn't deny she'd been afraid of him. But the way he talked to her- he'd made fun of her for being a ballerina, mocked her, calling her Goldilocks and Sugarplum in a hurtful, mean manner… but somehow, despite his obvious dislike of her, it had made her _less_ afraid of him. Somehow she had gotten the idea into her head that, surely, if he hated her that much, he wouldn't waste his time. She wasn't sure what made her so sure of this. She barely knew him. But somehow, she just knew that though Dally may dislike her, he did not hate her. And he wasn't likely to hurt her.

"Yeah, him. It wasn't that bad, he called me a few names, but nothing happened that made me want to curl into a ball and cry or anything."

"He called you names? What kind of names?" Dawn sounded angry on Audrey's behalf now and she smiled, happy she had such a great friend.

"Goldilocks. And Sugarplum."

There was a moment of silence before Dawn burst into loud peals of laughter. Audrey huffed. So much for having a great friend.

"_Sugarplum_? Aw, heck Audrey, if you'd heard the way he talks to some people, I'd say Dallas Winston _likes_ you!"

Audrey very much doubted he liked her, though Dawn's reaction confirmed her suspicion that he most certainly did not hate her, which made her feel better. And who knew, maybe one day they'd manage to get along? The way she knew Johnny wanted them to.

Yeah, maybe not.

"So what happened after that?" Dawn asked when she got done laughing.

"Well, after that, he was walking me home, and…"

How was she supposed to tell Dawn about what happened next without revealing Johnny's home situation?

"And what?" Dawn asked impatiently.

Audrey did what she always seemed to do when she was nervous and blurted out the first thing she could think of. "And we started talking about how Johnny got into a fight with his parents!" That wasn't exactly a lie. It just wasn't the kind of fight Dawn would be thinking of.

"Oh…" Dawn said, sounding like she wasn't really sure where Audrey was going with this.

"And he said he didn't want to go home, and Dally was sleeping at the Curtis' and he was going to sleep outside-"

"_Sleep outside_!?" Dawn interrupted explosively, "What does he mean, _sleep outside_? Is that boy crazy? Only the homeless should be sleepin' _outside_! Or campers! The homeless and the campers!"

Audrey tried very hard not to think about how close to being homeless Johnny actually was.

"Yeah. Well, I said he could… well that he could… I said he could sleep at mine."

Silence.

"Um… you said _what_?"

"Well it's better than outside, isn't it!?" Audrey snapped.

"Well yeah, of course, but… how did you convince your parents?"

"I kind of… _didn't_. You know that tree outside my bedroom window?"

"Oh my _Lord_, you snuck a boy into your _room_? You let a _boy_ sleep in your _room_!?"

"Don't say it like that! It sounds indecent when you say it like that!"

"Well, it is kinda indecent. I mean, you don't exactly strike me as one of those girls that's jumpin' into the free love bandwagon."

Audrey blushed hard. "There was absolutely no free love! We just slept… in my bed." She added the last bit in a quiet voice, but Dawn still heard.

"_In your bed_!?" She exploded. Audrey sat wide-eyed on her bed, afraid that Dawn really _would_ think her indecent now, but instead she just laughed.

"Oh Glory, Audrey, I didn't know you had it in you!"

She let out a sigh of relief. Apparently Dawn's views were fairly liberal. Nevertheless, she decided _not_ to mention the rush of excitement she'd gotten that morning.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

The next two weeks seemed to pass in a blur for Audrey. It seemed like she was constantly being pulled in every direction.

When she was in class, she tried so hard to devote herself to her studies, but she was often distracted, especially in English where at any given moment Johnny might chose to reach over and hold her hand, or touch her hair.

When she was doing her homework, she was constantly trying to time it so she had room for her dance, her boyfriend and her friends.

When she was in dance lessons with Mother, she was trying to organize in her head when she could practice for 'The Nutcracker'. When she was at 'Nutcracker' rehearsals, she was worried about the dance classes she was missing. She often avoided thinking about this by talking to Julie, but because Julie had such an incredibly unbiased view, all she ever seemed to be able to talk about was her relationship with Johnny, and she worried that she was boring Julie.

She seemed to encounter this problem with Dawn as well, though she seemed just as excited to talk about Audrey's relationship as Audrey was, so she tried not to worry too much. Her time with Cherry was monopolized by the other girl expressing her worry over Bob and his newfound fondness for drinking. He'd apparently promised the day after the party that he wouldn't get that drunk again, but from what Cherry was telling Audrey, this was a promise that had already been broken. Cherry didn't seem to know what she should do about the situation, and Audrey couldn't give advice. It was an impossible situation. Her giving advice to Cherry always ended in one of two ways.

Example One:

"And I just don't know what to do, Audrey!"

"Well… maybe let him know you're serious? Break up your relationship the next time he breaks his promise."

"No, but I can't break up with Bob. He's really a great guy, I love him, Audrey. No, I couldn't do that."

Or, Example Two:

"And I just don't know what to do, Audrey!"

"Well… if you can't break up with him… maybe just… forgive him? Let him keep doing it? He seems to be having fun, I guess… maybe if you just quit arguing about it-"

"Of course I can't do that! What he's doing is illegal! And I don't like the way he acts when he's drunk."

So Audrey gave up. She was reduced to uh-huh-ing every time Cherry talked about her boyfriend. She wondered if maybe this was how Julie and Dawn felt when she gushed about Johnny.

The only time that she seemed to relax anymore was when she was with Johnny. Or even with Johnny and his gang. She was quickly becoming a regular visitor at the Curtis house. Mrs. Curtis was one of the kindest, most nurturing women that Audrey had ever met. The older woman really went out of her way to take Audrey under her wing in a house full of boys and make her feel welcome. The boys, while never seeming to be anything but themselves around her, still treated her politely. They became more and more friendly with every visit, and she felt like they were beginning to accept her more readily into their lives. Not that she wanted to become one of them, exactly. She'd observed them and they shared a bond that she didn't think she would ever manage to slide into. But they included her in their conversations, and they looked out for her whenever she was with them on the South side. She may not be a member of the gang, but she was, as they frequently called her, 'Johnny's girl', and that seemed enough to warrant their friendliness.

Well, except for Dally. He continually picked on her, and she continually snapped back at him. Strangely, this did not appear to make him angry with her. He was still as cold and mean as ever, but she'd noticed over the past couple of weeks that he seemed to enjoy picking on her, not for the purpose of hurting her, but for the purpose of seeing what smart-aleck remark she'd throw back at him. And so their 'relationship' (and she used the word reluctantly) became characterized by goading comments and snappy comebacks. And Audrey had just had to get used to names such as 'Princess', 'Goldilocks', 'Sugarplum' and even 'Goody-Two-Shoes', lest she lose her mind.

As for she and Johnny, they were becoming extremely adept at finding ways to spend time alone together. Whether it was Audrey blowing off Bob and Cherry so he could walk her home, or them arranging another secret date, they tended to find time just for each other at least once a day.

It helped that sometimes in the middle of the night, Audrey would wake up to a tapping on her window, and she'd see Johnny's silhouette perched on that tree branch, just waiting to be let in. He'd only done it twice in the two weeks since their first date, and she knew that sometimes he just roughed it and slept outside anyway if the Curtis' couch wasn't available because sometimes he still carried the sweet scent of grass, but she loved the fact that he felt sure enough of their relationship to come to her for help in this way, if he needed it.

And though she tried not to think about it, the idea of Johnny sleeping in her bed still excited her. Some nights, she'd lay in bed staring at the window until her eyes stung, hoping he'd appear. And some nights, she had trouble sleeping because it just wasn't warm enough. And some nights, she dreamt that he was there, only to wake up and realize he wasn't, and a sense of crushing disappointment always seemed to rush through her.

And then when he _was_ there, she seemed to be finding it harder and harder to maintain the distance that they so carefully placed between themselves on the bed. She found it hard to fall asleep, knowing he was _right there_, but her sense of propriety demanded her to at least maintain distance. But she betrayed herself in the night, because they'd always wake up blushing, tangled together and _so, so warm_.

And she felt like she _should_ be ashamed at the indecency of her actions, but she just wasn't. She loved it. She loved feeling so close to him, both physically _and_ emotionally. She loved the fact that he never seemed to care about her lack of makeup and her messy hair and her morning breath. She loved the fact that he still looked at her like she was beautiful. It made her trust in him grow, and her feelings for him seemed to grow by the second in moments like those. And it had come to the point where she always felt just a little bit empty whenever he would leave. As though he were taking a piece of her with him. And as much as she loved it, that also scared her.

Because she was pretty sure the piece he was taking with him was her heart.


	14. A Home For My Heart

Chapter 14:

**Disclaimer: 'Tis not mine.**

**Oh my God you guys, I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry! I feel really bad that I didn't update sooner! But I promise I wasn't just lazing around or contemplating abandoning the story (I'm NEVER abandoning this, I love it too much) I was genuinely too busy to write the chapter in a timely manner. I've been getting a crazy amount of college work recently and only just surfaced from the mountain of homework on Wednesday. Plus, I'm in the process of adopting a dog from a rescue center. The one we've chosen is so adorable, he's a wire-haired Fox Terrier. He looks like a teddy bear :D **

**Again, I am soooo sorry! Hopefully this chapter is cute enough to make up for it! After this, my update schedule should (hopefully) be back to updating once a week.**

**ALSO! This story now has a fan art! I'd like to thank **_**Yeastbaron**_** AGAIN for her amazing drawing of Johnny and Audrey. You can find it as my avatar on my profile page, or if you want to see the larger version, there's a link in my profile :D Right next to my avatar. You should go leave a comment! **

_**Wow**_**: Yay, I'm glad to know that Dally's behavior fits well :D**

_**greasergirl2012**_**: Thank you, I will!**

_**Pixie silver**_**: Oh, that makes me happy to hear, thank you!**

_**Smiles436**_**: Don't worry, I know exactly what you mean by Johnny becoming OOC during lemons. I'm not exactly sure what you consider graphic, I read a lot of M-rated fics, so it's likely our definitions are somewhat different. There will be some description, but I'm not looking to make it overwhelmingly about sex. Really, the purpose of the lemon is to explore the emotional connection that occurs when people who are in love, make love. So I hope that makes you worry less. **

_**sunshine321**_**: Wow, your nine-year-old sister reads this? I'm not totally sure what reading material is appropriate for nine year olds, as I myself am an only child and don't spend that much time with kids, but I kinda think that now that the rating of this story is 'M' it's probably not all that appropriate for her anymore. I'm sorry if that comes off as harsh, or rude, but I'm just trying to be honest about the direction this story is going in. **

_**OutsiderrFan101**_**: Oh wow, thank you! Your reviews excite me, you always give compliments :D And yes, there is more interaction with the gang, among other things. And yep, not sure when Bob started with the alcohol in the Outsiders, but I just figured I'd start that now. AND CUDDLING FTW!**

_**LalaLand**_**: Thank you, it means a lot to me that you like their relationship :D I was so afraid I'd suck at the romance stuff! I'm also relieved I got the gang right :') **

_**outsidergreasergirl15**_**: I'm so glad you like Audrey! And thank you for the compliment about my writing! :') **

_**Aislynn**_**: Here is the new chapter! Again, I'm sorry I took so long, and thank you so much for liking my story so much :D**

_**Gracie**_**: Thank you, and I'm sorry I couldn't update sooner :'(**

_**Macey**_**: Okay, here's your update, lol! I'm really flattered you wanted to read it so much! I'm sorry I didn't get it to you sooner. **

_**XxCheshireSmilexX, anna the viking XD**_**, **_**LunarLilies, Bridge on fire, AnimeFan202, jusa lilcrazE, princess, .Vodka, Bindiyaglo **_**and **_**Lastoftheamericandreamers**_**: I have PM'd you, and thank you so much for reviewing!**

**Thank you to the readers, the reviewers, those who favorite and follow this story- you guys make my whole week until I post another chapter, and then you make that week too! ^.^**

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

It was a Sunday, when she realized. The last Sunday of October.

Of course, she sort of already knew. The '_L_' word had been creeping into her thoughts, unbidden, for weeks. She didn't want to be _that _girl- the one who threw that word around like it meant nothing. The girl who said it like she meant it, until suddenly she met somebody and realized that before them, she had never really meant it at all, and now no one believed her when she said it.

The girl who cried '_love_'.

But that Sunday, Audrey just _knew_. It was in the way her voice became breathless with emotion and his name lingered on her tongue, as though she were reluctant to part with it. It was in the way she touched him, gently, so as not to ever, ever harm him, accidentally or otherwise, but firmly, as though to reassure herself that no, he was not some wonderful dream, but _there_. With her. It was in the way she thought about him constantly, and the way that everything reminded her of him. It was in the way that she trusted him more than anyone, more than even Dawn, or her parents. It was in the way that he made her feel safe, and that she desired to make him feel safe in return.

But we're getting a little ahead of ourselves.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

Dawn had started talking about meeting Johnny the week before. Properly meeting him, that is, because they'd kind of known _of_ each other their whole lives, but Dawn wanted to talk to him and get to know him and be able to hang out with him. When Audrey had asked why, Dawn replied with,

"I figure he's gotta be somethin' special if you're so crazy for him." She'd acted like she was bored, reading over the political section of the newspaper as she said it, but Audrey saw the gleam of interest in her hazel eyes. Of course, that could have been due to Dawn's new hobby, politics. Audrey didn't quite understand the fascination herself.

The '_L_' word had lingered around the edges of Audrey's thoughts for awhile before Dawn had said that, but that one statement had really got her thinking. _Crazy for him_. She herself had thought, on more than one occasion, that Johnny Cade must be driving her crazy. He made it so difficult to think clearly, and even when she did manage it, it was the image of Johnny, clear as crystal in her mind's eye. He was _always_ on her mind.

And that realization had pushed the '_L_' word to the forefront of her mind, only to be hurriedly shoved to the back again. She was too young, Mother would say, to know how she felt. She hadn't known him long enough, Daddy would say, to be sure of him. _Two months just isn't long enough to go throwing those kind of words around, Baby_, he'd say dismissively.

_But I _am_ sure_, whispered a little voice in the back of her mind.

She ignored that too.

So the next time she'd gone to the Curtis', she'd tentatively brought up the idea of maybe bringing a friend of hers sometime, hoping she wasn't being _too_ rude, only to have Mrs. Curtis beam at her. Audrey always thought she looked like an angel when she did that, what with those pretty eyes and all that shining blonde hair.

"Of course you can, dear!" she'd chirped, even as Dally had rolled his icy cold eyes and grumbled under his breath about her infecting the house with prissy Socs. Not that Dawn was even a Soc. They'd given each other filthy looks out of the corners of their eyes, before Audrey turned back to Johnny on the couch and resumed their conversation.

And so that was why on the last week of October, Audrey and Dawn were stood nervously on the Curtis' front porch.

"Glory Audrey," Dawn said, playing anxiously with the cuffs of her sleeves, "I said I wanted to meet _Johnny_, not _all_ of them!"

Audrey blushed, coming to realize how overwhelming this must be for Dawn. She could have kicked herself. Of _course_, it was overwhelming! Hadn't she been overwhelmed when she'd had to meet them all at once!? Why would she then put Dawn in the same position?

She opened her mouth to apologize, to offer that they go home, try again another day, another _way_, but she never got the chance, because just then she saw Steve and Sodapop walking towards the house, her attention having first been drawn by their voices. Sodapop was laughing at something that Steve had just said, and they kept patting each other on the back. Steve looked the happiest Audrey had ever seen him, though that wasn't saying much, as they usually avoided each other.

Of course, the second he clapped eyes on her, his expression soured. Sodapop followed his gaze and grinned widely when he saw Audrey standing at the front door. He let out a loud 'WHOOP!' and hurtled towards her so fast she was afraid he'd knock her over.

Instead he gathered her up in a bear hug.

"Me and Stevie've got ourselves a job!" he crowed enthusiastically, putting Audrey back down. She smiled up at his taller form.

"Really? That's great, Soda, where?"

By this point Steve had joined them. He glanced dismissively at Dawn before turning back to Sodapop.

"Don't call me _Stevie_," he said with a grimace. Audrey had to fight back a laugh. Steve's girlfriend, Evie, was forever referring to them as 'Stevie and Evie'. Audrey and the boys got a real kick out of it. She'd even seen Mr. and Mrs. Curtis struggling not to smile a few times. Steve, on the other hand, despised it with a passion. Not that he'd ever tell Evie. As much as Audrey might dislike Steve, she could tell that he loved his girlfriend.

"And the job ain't gonna seem that great to Miss Priss over here," he continued, tilting his head in Audrey's direction. She frowned at him, annoyed.

"Well go on then," she challenged. "Tell me what the job is!"

Sodapop didn't seem too bothered by what Steve had said because he grinned again and practically shouted the words in glee. "We got ourselves jobs at the DX. Y'know, Audrey, the gas station!"

Steve was right. The job _didn't_ seem all that great to her. She'd grown up with a lawyer for a daddy. Mother was a professional ballerina. When she was younger she'd visited the theatre house every Christmas, and had aspired to be just as graceful as those dancers on stage. She was expected to marry a doctor or a lawyer when she was old enough. A job down at the gas station didn't seem very impressive at all.

But she didn't let her smile falter. Just because _she_ knew that Steve was right didn't mean that _he _had to know.

"That's great, Soda! I'm so happy for you!" And that part really wasn't a lie. She _was_ happy for him. Anyone with two eyes could see that the Curtis' struggled for money. Sodapop having a job, even just a part-time one, could help make a difference.

A throat cleared off to Audrey's right. She looked over, startled to see Dawn standing with her arms crossed and a dark eyebrow raised.

"Oh," Audrey said, feeling stupid. She hadn't introduced them yet!

"Um, Soda, Steve, this is Dawn Brady. She's a friend of mine. Dawn, Sodapop Curtis and Steve Randle," she introduced awkwardly, pointing at people in order to introduce them. Steve gave Dawn a tight smile that was thankfully polite and nodded at her in acknowledgement before breezing past all of them and entering the Curtis household. Sodapop smiled widely at Dawn, holding out his hand for her to shake. Dawn smiled back, not looking nervous at all anymore. Audrey was relieved that he was the first one that Dawn was meeting, he had a talent for making people feel comfortable.

"What's Audrey doin', bringin' a nice girl like you over to the Greaser side of town?" he asked teasingly, and Dawn laughed. "Believe it or not," she replied, a conspiratorial sparkle in her eyes, "I was the one that asked her to bring me here."

"No!" Sodapop gasped, as though scandalized, making both Dawn and Audrey laugh. Audrey wondered why she'd never thought to introduce the two sooner. Over the next five minutes it became increasingly clear that they had very similar personalities, and got along very well with each other. She was just beginning to wonder how she could possibly interrupt their conversation to herd them inside when the front door opened behind her.

She beamed when she saw Johnny standing in the frame of the doorway, her stomach flip-flopping in a way that made '_L_' word thoughts dance dangerously close to the front of her mind. He shot her a quick, barely-there smile, but the fondness in his eyes when he looked at her more than made up for it. He flicked his eyes curiously over to Dawn, and then back at Audrey, raising his eyebrows, like _who's she_?

Audrey took the opportunity to quickly give him a hug and a short, sweet peck on the lips before turning back to Dawn and Sodapop, who were grinning at them. She blushed briefly before telling herself to stop being so ridiculous. He was her boyfriend. She could kiss him whenever she wanted to. In any case, she really should be used to this. She and Johnny were both fairly shy about public displays of affection, but the guys had seen more than enough hugs and kisses to have gotten to the point where they didn't even get teased anymore. Because they did used to get teased.

_A lot_.

So she forcefully shoved the burn in her cheeks away and introduced Johnny and Dawn to each other.

"So you're the one she raves on about," Dawn grinned, much to Audrey's mortification. Beside her, Sodapop snorted with laughter, and Johnny promptly looked down at the peeling paint on the porch steps, probably trying to hide his blush.

"Uh, yeah," he mumbled after a moment, "Mrs. Curtis sent me out to ask why y'all were just stood out on the front porch when Steve got in awhile ago." He then looked up and nodded in Sodapop's direction. "Heard you got the job, Soda. That's real great!"

Audrey felt a smile curling around her lips. There was something in Johnny's tone, a quiet pleasure that told her that he really _was_ happy for Sodapop.

Sodapop grinned and made his way inside, past Johnny and Audrey. As he passed, he clapped Johnny on the shoulder, and leaned over to loudly whisper in a mischievous tone, "Yeah, Johnnycake, it's real great. Means I can take Sandy on a real date now!"

Audrey liked Sandy, Sodapop's girlfriend of about two months. She seemed like a real nice girl. Not that Audrey had had any doubts. She must be something really special if Sodapop liked her so much. She was thick as thieves with Evie, something that Audrey and, she was sure, the rest of the world was relieved about. Evie, while she seemed to be a good person at heart, was very brash and opinionated, which sometimes made for a hard pill to swallow. Sandy seemed to reign some of that in when they were together.

Dawn followed Sodapop into the house confidently, no longer the nervous girl she'd been ten minutes ago. This left Audrey and Johnny out on the porch. He reached over to take her hand, and the brush of his fingers against hers sent wonderful shivers down her spine, and electricity sparking along her skin. '_L_' word, her mind tried to tell her, but she wasn't having it. Instead she squeezed Johnny's fingers softly, relishing in the feeling of his answering squeeze.

"C'mon, lovebirds, get on in here!" she heard Two-Bit hoot from inside the house. Shaking her head with a laugh, she and Johnny finally made their way inside, holding hands.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

It was a couple hours later, when Dawn had gotten comfortable talking with the boys that it happened.

Well, that it half-happened anyway.

Steve had remained polite, if not particularly welcoming. It was more of a courtesy than he'd extended to Audrey upon their first meeting, so she decided to be pleased with it. The other boys were open to talking to Dawn, and after sussing out that she was the type of girl that liked to laugh, Two-Bit had really started to let rip with the jokes. Johnny managed to throw in a few comments to the conversation every once in awhile, and Dawn would respond. From the way she smiled at Johnny, Audrey could tell she approved of him, and she was thankful that her best friend and her boyfriend seemed to get along well.

It was Dally, of course, that was the exception to the rule. He'd apparently deemed Dawn completely unimportant in he grand scheme of things, because he'd largely ignored her. Audrey would have been more annoyed, if it weren't for the fact that she knew that the idea of talking to Dallas Winston terrified Dawn anyway.

And so when Dawn began to get really comfortable with the boys, Audrey had ended up sitting near Dally, away from the thick of things so that Dawn could have her moment to shine. Every once in awhile, if Johnny and Dawn were talking to each other, then Dally would look over the scene with such apathy that Audrey couldn't tell what he was thinking.

Until, of course, he decided to open his mouth.

"Why'd ya bring her here?" He didn't look at her, but Audrey knew he was talking to her because he'd kept his voice at a volume where only she could hear him easily.

Audrey blinked at him, confused. Had she done something wrong? She didn't think so.

"Because she wanted to meet Johnny."

He snorted. "She didn't wanna meet _Johnny_. If she'd wanted to meet _Johnny_, she's had fifteen years living in Tulsa to do it. She wanted to meet _Audrey's boyfriend_." He finally turned to look at her, his eyes daring her to contradict him, and she didn't because when he put it like that it was true. To Dawn, Johnny only held value because he was precious to Audrey.

"Okay," she said after a heartbeat, wondering where he was going with this. "I brought her here because she wanted to meet my boyfriend."

He suddenly sneered at her, and it was the meanest look he'd given her since the night they first met. For some reason, it stung, though she really should be used to Dally's rough edges by now.

"So you're saying you'd bring _any one _of your little Soc friends here if they wanted to meet your boyfriend. Cause you ain't ashamed of Johnny _at all_. It ain't like you ever talk to him in public, even though you call yourself _his girl_. Ain't that right, Sugarplum?" He said it with such a vicious tone that Audrey actually found herself blinking back tears as the anger set in.

How dare he? She wasn't _ashamed_ of Johnny! It was true that she wouldn't introduce him to any of her Soc friends because he was a Greaser, but that wasn't because she was _ashamed_ of him! It was because she wanted to protect him! She'd do _anything_ for him, she cared about him more than she cared about herself-

At that, little red flags shot up in her mid, all of them reading 'the '_L_' word', and she hurriedly tried to backpedal in her mind, because _of course she didn't_, Mother's voice echoed in her mind, what she would surely say, thoughts of _too young_ and _too soon_ floating through the odd combination of anger and panic in her mind.

"I- No I… I can't _believe_ you!" she finally managed to hiss. Thankfully, the others' conversation was so loud that they couldn't hear Dally and Audrey's argument. "I _am not_ in any way, shape or form ashamed of Johnny! He is absolutely amazing! He's the best thing that ever happened to me! Dallas Winston, if you can look me in the eye right now and tell me that he won't be jumped by the Socs, then I will announce that I am _Johnny's girl_ over the school intercom _tomorrow morning_, I _swear_ it by _everything_ that is _holy_."

She was glad that her voice wasn't trembling as much as the rest of her was. Instead, her voice came out with a steady determination, an absolute conviction, and she could tell that he believed her. He was looking at her as though he were meeting her for the first time, as though she had transformed in front of his eyes and changed into somebody completely different than who he thought she was.

She hoped it was a good change.

Finally he looked back towards the group, and Audrey thought that if Dally were a normal person, he'd be apologizing right about now. But of course, Dally isn't a normal person, and he didn't apologize.

Still, she found herself smiling when he passed her a Coke fifteen minutes later.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

The realization that she cared about Johnny more than she cared about herself made her completely unable to ignore it. So she finally asked herself.

Did she '_L_' word Johnny?

She thought about the way that she felt safe when he held her, the way that she could spend forever staring into those beautiful dark eyes. She'd decided they looked like starless galaxies, and all that sparkling beauty from the missing stars had been transferred into his beautiful, rare smiles. She loved his smiles, just the thought of them made her heart beat quicker. She thought of the way he always made her so beautiful and important, like she really mattered to somebody. She thought of the way she sometimes got the urge to hold him, and never let go.

But she could still imagine what her parents would say. That she was too young and naïve to know what love was. That she couldn't possibly know what she wanted at this stage in her life. That she was just being a silly little girl with a crush.

Except this didn't _feel_ like a crush. What she'd had with Daniel- _that_ was a crush. She'd known Daniel far longer than she'd known Johnny and yet, even as a naïve fifteen-year-old girl, Audrey _knew_-

What she felt for Daniel wasn't even a grain of sand on the beach compared to what she felt for Johnny.

She thought of all this as she tossed and turned in bed, staring helplessly up at her ceiling. She wanted to push these thoughts away, to not deal with them, but they kept coming back every time she did that, so maybe-

Then she heard the tapping at her window.

He was there. Her heart clenched upon seeing him, and thoughts of the '_L_' word were growing ever more insistent. She opened her window for him, and when they got into bed, she very quietly whispered to him,

"Was Dally at the Curtis'?"

He hesitated a moment, before shaking his head no. She felt his fingers brushing hers, and realized he'd reached out to hold her hand. Her heart skipped a beat.

"Nah, I just-… I just wanted to see you," he whispered into the silence. Her stomach flipped again, and her heart was beating so hard, it almost felt like it wanted to jump straight out of her chest and into his arms.

_Hasn't it already done that_? Whispered that traitorous voice in the back of her mind.

"Can I just-?" he whispered tremulously, scooting closer to her on the bed, and she gasped, because it was the first time they'd crossed the space between since he'd started sleeping in her bed. Gently, he gathered her into his arms, and she held her breath as his body relaxed against her. He buried his face in her hair, and she heard him inhale deeply. It made her start to relax.

She was almost asleep, feeling safe in his embrace when she heard him whisper into the skin of her neck,

"I just miss you when you're gone."

That's when it happened. That's when she knew for _sure_. That's when thoughts like too young, too soon, too naïve, too stupid, stopped flitting through her mind. She could only feel, and every sense was filled with Johnny.

"I miss you too," she whispered into his greased hair.

Audrey was in love with Johnny Cade.


	15. I Held My Breath

Chapter 15: I Held My Breath

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Still.**

**So, I said I wouldn't, but I've started another story. It's for 'The Walking Dead' and it's called 'Of Monsters and Men'. If you like TWD, you should totally go read it!**

**I will still be updating for this story, don't worry about that XD Johnny and Audrey are fast becoming my OTP (even though it's my story…) and I could never abandon them 3 **

**Alrightey then, reviewers-**

_**Gracie**_**: Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it XD And yeah, Dally and Audrey have definitely reached an understanding with each other =)**

_** : **_**Thank you so much, and I hope I have conveyed with this chapter how hard saying the 'L' word can be =)**

_**Bridge on fire**_**: Haha, yeah, I thought that it was a really important point for Dally to make, that Dawn wasn't really interested in **_**Johnny**_**, but rather his relationship with Audrey.**

_**OutsiderrFan101**_**: Oh my goodness, WOW! I am so blown away by your thoughtful review, thank you! I love that my updates can do that for someone :D I get excited reading your reviews, lol! I KNOW RIGHT!? I freaking love that fanart! If you want to draw Johnny and Audrey be my guest. Personally, I'm just flattered that people like them so much! If you do draw them please send me a link! Aww, yeah, I love messing around with the Dally/Audrey frenemy relationship, they're so fun XD There probably will be a Valentine's Day chapter, but right now in the story, we're moving into November, so it's still a few months away, story-wise ^.^ You might have to remind me once we get into February though. I'm not a huge fan of Valentine's Day, so I might forget! And thank you so much for your compliments!**

_**Smiles436**_**: I'm glad I've reassured you about the whole 'M-rated thing' :D It's always nice to have people on board with what you're doing :D**

_**animallover1025**_**: Thank you so much, I'm glad you like it! **

_**anna the viking XD, jns1253, LunarLilies, Cheshire, AnimeFan202 and Georgetteb321**_**: thank you for your reviews, to which I responded by PM'ing you ^.^**

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Audrey smiled upon waking up. While she'd grown used to the feeling of Johnny's warmth because of how often he slept over, never before had she woken up to find that they were in each other's arms. She found she liked the feeling- _a lot_. Something about it just seemed so… _not_ like they were teenagers sneaking around. It made her feel more adult, this felt domestic, the way that a husband and wife might wake up.

She was suddenly hit with last night's epiphany- _she loved Johnny_- and momentarily tensed, but relaxed when she took stock of how safe she felt with him wrapped all around her like this, how _right_ this felt. Like it had been meant to be this way. So instead of pulling away, she pressed her face into his neck and relaxed in the familiar, comforting scent that was the boy she was in love with.

It had almost lulled her back to sleep when she heard footsteps out in the hall.

Her eyes snapped wide open, and she pushed herself so she was half sitting up on the bed. She got the feeling that if she were a dog, her ears would be stood straight to attention, that's how much she was straining them to listen for further noise. Her sudden movements woke Johnny, who blinked up at her blearily. His hair had become disheveled overnight and something in her _really_ wanted to reach out and smooth it into place, but instead she had to slap a hand over his mouth and hiss at him to 'Shhh' when he started to ask her what was going on.

"You know she hates it when you go in her room," came Daddy's muffled voice from the hall. Audrey and Johnny momentarily looked at each other in wide-eyed panic before they seemed to simultaneously spring up off the bed. Audrey headed for the closet door, opening it and gesturing frantically at Johnny to get inside even as he scrambled to get his jacket and converse up off the floor. He had barely even straightened before he started to run full-tilt to her closet.

"Oh, she won't mind," Mother said, her footsteps coming ever-nearer to Audrey's bedroom door. "I'll just set her laundry on her dresser for her. I forgot to give it to her last night, and I think she wanted to wear that blue blouse to school today."

Audrey abruptly shut the closet door just before Johnny could get in. Once Mother saw she was awake, she'd expect Audrey to put her clothes away, and for that, she'd need the closet. Instead, she ushered him quickly over to the bathroom. It figures, the one time that Mother tried to be considerate, Audrey had her boyfriend hiding in her room.

Mother opened the bedroom door just as Audrey had slammed the bathroom door shut. In an attempt to look natural, she tried to lean casually against the doorframe, but she felt so tense, she doubted it came out as anything but stiff.

"Oh. You're awake," Mother said from the doorway, looking surprised. "You're normally not up for another half-hour."

Audrey shrugged, forcing a smile. "Well, not today, I guess." _Please leave_, she thought, _please, please, please, please, _please_, just leave_!

"Right," Mother said, casting her a strange look. If there was one thing about Mother that Audrey hated in this moment, it was that she was so _smart_. "Well, I just brought you yesterday's laundry, I-"

"Yeah, you forgot to give it to me yesterday, I heard you and Daddy," Audrey finished for her, in an attempt to hurry her up so she could let Johnny out of the bathroom. She pushed herself off the doorframe and walked quickly to Mother, taking the clothes with a strained smile. "I'll just put these away," she said, hoping that would be the end of it.

But it wasn't. Instead, Mother said what were probably the most horrifying twelve words in the English language.

"Alright, do you mind if I just use your bathroom really quickly?"

Mother obviously expected her to say yes, she was already half-way across the room. Audrey gasped loudly, dropping the clothes and making a desperate run for the bathroom door. She threw herself in front of it like a human shield, and probably looked like she'd lost her mind when she shouted out "NO!"

Mother was eyeing her very oddly now, indeed.

Audrey cleared her throat and tried to gain some composure, dropping her arms from where they'd been outstretched, though she did not move from in front of the bathroom door.

"You can't go in there," she said much more weakly.

Mother raised her eyebrows suspiciously. "And why not?"

Yes. Why not?

"Um, because… well, because…" she desperately searched her brain for something that would explain her odd behavior and make Mother want to avoid her bathroom like the plague. Something that wasn't, _well Mother, you can't go in there because I'm hiding my boyfriend in there who, by the way, spent the night with me. And just in case you're wondering, he gets into fights, lives on the wrong side of town and is one of those Greasers Mrs. Valance keeps complaining about_.

Yeah, that'd make Johnny sound like a real winner.

Inspiration hit.

"My period!" she suddenly burst out, startling Mother who had, just seconds before, looked about ready to force her way into Audrey's bathroom and see what all the fuss was about. "My period. I got my period this morning. It's really bad, Mother… messy. I don't think you want to go in there… it's a little embarrassing, I was just about to clean up when you came in."

Mother looked mortified. She could not abide any talks of periods or puberty or sex. She felt they were not ladylike to discuss. Mother had only explained what she referred to as _the facts of life_ to Audrey after she had run down the stairs crying at eleven years old, convinced that she was dying because she was bleeding _down there. _If anything could get Mother off her case, it'd be a period.

And Audrey was right. Within seconds, Mother had retreated from the room and Audrey breathed a sigh of absolute and utter _relief_ before turning to open the bathroom door. Johnny stood behind it, not quite looking her in the eye with a heavy blush.

Audrey sighed, rolling her eyes in exasperation but still smiling a little bit, because her boyfriend was just _that adorable_.

"Johnny, you know I'm not on my period. I only said that to get rid of her."

He blushed even more.

"I know that!" he muttered, finally meeting her eyes, though he was still the color of a tomato.

Looking at him, she couldn't help giggling and leaned forward to hug him. She kissed his cheek and brought her lips to his ear. She began to whisper,

"I-" _love you_.

Only she couldn't say it. The words had seemed so easy, right on the tip of her tongue, and she thought that they were just going to slip right out and he'd smile and say _I love you too_, only what if he _didn't_? She'd looked into those incredible dark eyes of his, and he was looking at her like she was the only girl in the world, and she suddenly thought to herself, _what if he doesn't love me back_?

What would she do then? What if he didn't love her back, and then she said that she loved him, and she scared him away? No more hugs, no more kisses. No more dates under the stars, no more trips to the Curtis house. No more spending the night wrapped up in his arms. No more seeing Johnny's face first thing when she woke up in the morning, and last thing when she went to sleep at night. No more running her fingers through greased back hair, no more holding hands and linking pinkies at the back of their English classroom. No more being walked home by a beautiful boy who offered to carry her books. No more randomly reaching over to hold his hand and having him squeeze her fingers in response. No more being told she was beautiful. No more feeling safe and happy and good and _right_ when he held her. No more feeling like she must be the luckiest girl in the whole world. No more being allowed to gaze deeply into those amazing dark eyes. No more being looked at like he was looking at her right now, no more being looked at like she was the only girl in the world-

No more _Johnny_.

What would she do then?

He kissed her forehead and reached up to tuck some of her hair behind her ear. "You what?" he asked, because she never did finish what she'd been about to say.

_I love you_ echoed through her mind insistently, but what came out of her mouth was,

"I think you should probably go. Just in case she tries to come back in again."

He nodded, and leaned in to kiss her firmly on the mouth before pulling away and heading towards the window.

"Yeah, I was thinkin' that myself," he said, opening the window and sticking one leg out. He was half-way out the window, reaching for the tree branch when he suddenly stopped and ducked his head back in. He was sitting there, straddling the windowsill in a way that had to be uncomfortable, looking at her _like that_ again, like she was everything, and she almost said it again, but managed to keep her mouth clamped shut tight.

"Hey, d'ya want me to walk ya to school? I could hang around in that alley behind your house till ya were ready to go?" She almost wanted to tell him that he didn't need to go to that kind of trouble for her, that he could go ahead and go, but then she realized that he looked hopeful, and she smiled.

_I love you_.

"Yeah, you can walk me. Just let me get dressed. I've also got to call Bob, tell him he and Cherry don't need to pick me up today."

"Okay," he said, sending a soft look her way, tugging on her hand to pull her closer. When she was stood right beside him, he put one hand gently on her waist, and used his other to pull her head down to his level and kissed her again. Only this one was different, slower, lingering, like he wasn't quite ready to part with her yet. It made her heart ache in a way that she imagined if it had arms, they'd be reaching for him, and her toes curled. She grabbed his hair and moaned happily into the kiss. She was surprised by his initiative. Not that _he_ never kissed _her_, but they were normally more chaste than this. _She_ was normally the one that had to take the lead if she wanted to kiss like _this_.

As he pulled away, he nipped her bottom lip gently, and continued to drag it with him for a moment before it snapped back into place. She'd heard girls at school talking about how after a kiss like that, their boyfriends always tried to take it further, tried to touch them in places that made Audrey blush and she felt herself tense, preparing herself to intervene any advance that Johnny might make.

But she should have known that he wouldn't. That he was different from all those other boys. Because even though that kiss had made her completely unsure as to whether or not she really _wanted_ to thwart any advance, he just pushed her hair back and cupped her cheek. He still touched her so gently, like she might break if he put anymore force into his movements, and looked at her like she was _important_. She hoped that he saw the same thing in her gaze. She hoped that he knew that to _her_, at least, Johnny was important.

"I'll see ya then," he said.

_God, I love you so much_.

"Yeah, see you then."

And on their way to school, he held her hand for as long as possible before they had to separate in case anyone saw them together. And as he held her hand, playing with her fingers the whole time, she had the thought that no more Johnny might just kill her.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

October moved quickly into November, and Audrey was very aware of the fact that in about a month's time, she'd be doing a pivotal performance in what was fast becoming one of the most popular Christmas ballets in the USA.

Whereas before, when Audrey and Julie were in practice together she couldn't seem to shut up about Johnny (and Julie's lack of bias was something that was still intoxicating to Audrey) now she couldn't seem to get enough _practice_.

She practiced at rehearsals. She practiced at home in front of her bedroom mirror, in the living room, as she walked down the hallway, in the kitchen. At school during lunchtime Audrey monopolized the girls' bathroom to practice, and when she inevitably got kicked out by a desperate high school girl about to wet her pants, Audrey practiced in empty classrooms. Audrey even occasionally practiced at the Curtis house.

There had been one particular incident at the Curtis house where she'd finished dinner early and had gone out into the backyard to practice, but then all seven boys had trooped out of the house to throw a football around and had seen her. As embarrassed as she was when they started laughing, she couldn't help laughing along when Two-Bit tried to mimic her movements, and she _really_ got the boys busting their ribs when she started correcting him and dancing along with him.

And as much as he tried to hide it, Audrey had caught that incredulous look on Dally's face when she'd stood en pointe. Probably thinking about how much it must hurt to walk on your toes like that.

And it _did_.

It was one day during English though, that Audrey finally asked Johnny a question that had been on her mind since September.

He'd been in the middle of writing a sentence when she'd turned to him, and said,

"Would you come to see 'The Nutcracker'?"

His pencil abruptly stopped writing and he'd looked at her, surprise written all over his face.

"Would I- what? Audrey, you know that I… well that I…"

She waited for him to finish his sentence with a confused expression on her face. Despite the fact that she still had trouble imagining tuff Greaser Johnny Cade sitting and watching her dance around stage in a tutu, he was her boyfriend and she wanted him there.

"I know that you what?" she prompted.

He blushed, ducking his head down so his dark bangs fell over his face and she could no longer see his eyes. Did he not _want_ to come? Sure, she doubted he had much of an interest in ballet, but she was his girl, and she suddenly felt hurt that he didn't want to come see her dance.

Finally he mumbled, "Audrey, y'know I can't afford the ticket."

She breathed a sigh of relief. This was about money. He _did_ care about her dream. Of course he did, he cared about _her_.

She smiled brightly at him. "Johnny, you don't have to worry about that. I'm _in_ the ballet, I can get you a free ticket. That's what I'm doing for my parents."

Johnny looked at her like she was crazy. "Your _parents_ are gonna be there? Well now I really _can't_ go!"

She was even more relieved that he sounded _upset_ about this.

She reached for his hand after looking around to check that no one was paying them any attention. "No, Johnny, you _can_ come. Look, my parents have never even _met_ you! They won't know you from Adam! And even if they _had_ met you, they don't know that we're together, they won't know you're there for me. If it makes you feel better, I'll try and make sure your seat isn't anywhere near theirs'."

He bit his lip, still looking unsure. He stared at their linked fingers with his brow furrowed.

"But… what'll people think? When they see a no good Greaser like me at a fancy theatre, watchin' a _ballet_?" The way he looked at her, uncertainty in his eyes, made her understand that this was not about the ballet. It was about his own feelings of being undeserving.

And he _wasn't_. It made her want to cry sometimes, how little Johnny thought of himself. She wished that she could make him see himself the way that _she_ saw him. Kind and gentle and _amazing_, and just so, so _incredible_.

_I love you_.

"I'll tell you what they'll think," she whispered to him. "They'll think, 'oh, look at that fine young man. I wonder which of these ballet dancers he's dating? He's too good-looking to not have a girlfriend.'"

Johnny looked at her, half-doubtfully, half-amused. Finally he snorted at her and shook his head, looking like he was fighting off a laugh.

"That ain't gonna be what they're thinkin'," he said, still smiling.

Audrey squeezed his hand, making him look her in the eye. "Look, Johnny, I don't know what they'll be thinking. And I don't _care_ what they'll be thinking. Because all _I'll_ be thinking is, 'look at that wonderful, amazing boy who's here just for me'. And it'll make me dance better, knowing you're watching. Please come Johnny, _I_ want you there, isn't that enough?"

He'd started blushing again right around the time she'd called him a 'wonderful, amazing boy', but she saw the ghost of a smile on his lips. He looked at her steadily.

"If we weren't in English right now, I'd kiss you," he said.

She beamed at him, her heart fluttering wildly. "Is that a yes?"

He rolled his eyes at her. "Yeah, I'll come," he said.

She grinned even wider. "If we weren't in English right now," she whispered, "I'd never _stop_ kissing you."

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Ever since their close call with Mother, Audrey and Johnny had decided it'd be best if he maybe took a break from sleeping over at her house for a little while. She hadn't realized, at the time the decision was made, that the transition would be so hard. It wasn't like he'd slept over every night anyway. Just… a lot of nights.

But she found that it was now difficult to sleep, knowing that he wasn't going to climb through her window at any given moment and climb into bed with her. She missed the way they'd sometimes press their foreheads together and just look into each other's eyes before they fell asleep. She loved it when he did things like that with her. It made her feel so close to him, emotionally. Like he was letting her see a part of him that was just for her. She knew, that when they looked at each other like that, that she was showing Johnny a part of herself that was just for _him_. It was strange, because until Johnny came along, she hadn't even known that that part of herself was _there_.

So she was tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep, and wishing that Johnny was there. She debated calling Dawn, to pass the time until she could fall asleep, but she was a little mad at Dawn as of late. She'd started blowing off a lot of her plans with Audrey to spend time with some new friends she'd made. Audrey had tried spending time with them at first, because Dawn seemed to like them so much, but they reflected Dawn's newfound interest in politics and they all seemed to have an opinion about the evils of the Vietnam War. Audrey couldn't say she was _supportive_ of the war. Some of the things that had been in the news were horrifying, which had a lot to do with her avoidance of the subject. She just found the war too depressing. Dawn and her new friends, on the other hand, had taken up the opinion that they had to protest the war. And it wasn't even _just_ the war. They talked a lot about politics in general, they seemed to be able to dig quite deeply into the subject, and all of it just went right over Audrey's head.

She sighed heavily, staring up at the ceiling, deciding it was probably too late at night to call Dawn anyway. Having made that decision, she was surprised when just a few minutes later, her phone rang.

Using some rather colorful words that she heard frequently when hanging out with the boys, Audrey quickly rolled over in bed and picked up the phone, hoping the ringing hadn't woken Mother and Daddy.

"Hello?" she whispered into the receiver.

"Au- Audrey?" she heard someone sniffle from the other end.

"Yeah… who is this?"

"Ch-Cherry."

"Cherry? Are you okay? Are you crying? What's wrong? Did _Bob_-"

At the mention of Bob, Cherry was reduced to a series of heavy sobs.

"Oh God, Cherry, what did that idiot do?" Audrey asked gently.

"I- we- he… Audrey- I… we _broke up_!" she wailed.

Audrey relaxed. Personally, she'd seen this one coming for awhile now. Cherry hated Bob's drinking. Bob loved Bob's drinking. Bob kept promising Cherry he'd quit drinking. And Bob kept breaking those promises.

"You dumped him?" Audrey asked, and Cherry sniffled some more before answering with a very quiet "yes".

"Because of the alcohol?"

Another "yes".

Audrey sighed. "Listen Cherry, I know you're upset, but this is a _good_ thing, okay? You don't deserve to have a boyfriend that lies to you all the time, you're better than that."

Audrey spent the rest of the night trying to convince Cherry that she _had_, in fact, done the right thing and that _no_, she should not call up Bob right now and tell him that she was sorry and that she wanted him back. Cherry was normally a lot stronger than this, and it really bothered Audrey that she'd let _some boy_ turn her into a sniveling wreck. Sure, Bob could be real nice and charming when he wanted to be, but he could also be a bully, a quality that Audrey extremely disliked.

And when she saw Johnny the next day and he asked her why she looked so tired, she just shook her head and kissed him, saying it was nothing he needed to worry about.


	16. What's Standing In Front Of Me

Chapter 16: What's Standing In Front Of Me

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Outsiders OR 'My Boyfriend's Back' by The Angels.**

**Sorry that this is so superbly late you guy! I've actually been getting test results back (I got an A in English Literature!) and applying for student loans for university as well as trying to get myself housing while I'm away from home, and today I went on a taster day to the university that I want to go to and OMG, I am so excited about going away to college, you guys have no freaking idea! Not to mention that I'm now getting ready for my summer exams, and then there's my final exam piece for Art, and just, yeah… I've been stretched a little thin. Sorry again! But I really will have a lot less time over the next few months, so updates might be super slow… and I mean, like **_**SUPER**_** slow. But I will never abandon Johnny and Audrey, so even if it takes a month, I **_**WILL**_** update!**

**To my guest reviewers:**

_**Gracie**_**: Thank you, it's been my goal to show emotional intimacy in their relationship, it makes me happy that I've succeeded!**

_**Pixie silver**_**: Well, you're not a guest reviewer, but I can't PM you ^.^ Anyway, I AM following the book storyline to a certain point, Bob and Cherry's breakup is not in any way permanent. **

_**Jolie**_**: Haha, really? Aw, I'm glad you like reading about them, cause I love writing about them!**

_**Wow**_**: I've heard of Misfits, but I've never watched it. My mom wouldn't let me, and I figured since I'm probably moving out in a few months anyway and can watch it then, it really wasn't worth the argument :D **

_**Smiles436**_**: Lol, the period part was a last minute addition, I'm glad so many people enjoyed it!**

_**Lisa**_**: Wow, thank you so much! That really means a lot, I've read a lot of great Johnny/OC fics!**

_**OutsiderrFan101**_**: I'm glad I was able to brighten your day! Yes, the love between Johnny/Audrey always gives me the feels (even though I'm the one that created them, but whatever! Haha!) Bob is a permanent fixture in this story, I'm sorry to tell you. He and Cherry just have an on-again, off-again relationship. Or at least, that's how **_**I**_** always pictured them. I'm seriously going to cry when I kill off Mr. and Mrs. Curtis! But we've still got a few chapters left, it's fine! (Sends a cyber hug back)**

_**Alexis**_**: Oh thank you! I'm not sure how much it seems like it's taking place in the 60s, cause I'm really bad at remembering to use the slang, but thank you for the compliment!**

_**Audrey**_** and **_**halo**_**: Sorry it took so long to update, guys!**

**If I haven't responded to your review either above or in a PM, I am so sorry, I didn't purposely exclude you, it's just that I'm trying to **_**not**_** have to answer every reviewer in the story, because I'm getting a lot of reviews now and it takes up too much room! It'll be that I thought I PM'd you, but I actually didn't. I'll be more organized about it next chapter guys, I'm sorry!**

**Thank you to everyone who reads, reviews, follows and favs, you guys mean the world to me!**

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

"Audrey, you know you shouldn't eat junk food."

The look of absolute disapproval on Mother's face as Audrey tried unsuccessfully to slip some chocolate into their cart at the grocery store made Audrey blush and squirm uncomfortably.

"It's not like I eat it all the time…" she trailed off as Mother raised her eyebrows.

"Audrey, you and I both know that you won't always be so young and fit. It's better to get into good habits now, you won't last two minutes in a dance company if you start gaining weight."

Audrey knew Mother was right, but she hated how Mother always had to hold her dream of being a dancer over her. Mother always used it like a loaded weapon, and if Audrey exhibited a behavior that Mother did not approve of, then she found a way to pull out the Juilliard card.

But again, in this instance Mother was right, so with one last mournful glance at the chocolate, Audrey put it back on the shelf. Mother replaced it a few minutes later with a particularly leafy-looking cauliflower, and Audrey cringed in disgust. They had just begun to argue over whether or not Audrey did, in fact, need to at least _try_ a pepper at least once in her life when a very familiar form rounded the corner.

There was a loud crash as their carts collided, and Mother jumped so high that Audrey had to bite back a laugh. She was not used to seeing Mother as anything but cool and collected. Mr. Sheldon stared back at them in surprise, and then Bob rounded the corner behind his father.

Audrey felt her eyebrows raise. It wasn't very often that she saw _men_ in the produce section. Bob seemed to have also come to the realization that a classmate was seeing him in a position that was slightly _less_ than manly, because he blushed and avoided her eyes. Mr. Sheldon gave a nervous sound somewhere in between a laugh and a cough, and scratched the back of his neck.

"Hi there, Patricia, Audrey."

Mother nodded curtly, her face absolutely blank. "Robert." Except her voice was sub-freezing, whereas normally it was only ice cold. Audrey still found her parents' dislike of the Sheldons fascinating, so she watched the exchange with keen interest.

"I heard you arguing about… _peppers_?" Mr. Sheldon asked, and Bob snorted.

"Mother insists I have to try them," Audrey told him. "I insist that I _don't_."

Mother shot her a nasty look before turning back to Mr. Sheldon, who looked to be suppressing a smile. "Yes, well, vegetables are good for any growing girl. Especially a girl who is so… _athletic_."

Ah, and there's the Juilliard card.

Mr. Sheldon seemed to have taken pity on Audrey, because he said to Mother,

"Surely there are other vegetables she could try?"

Mother sent him a cold smile, and until that moment Audrey had not realized that something that was meant to be friendly could be so _razor-sharp_.

"Yes, well I suppose that would be for _me_ to decide, wouldn't it Robert? Being her parent?"

Audrey bit her lip and looked quickly at the ground. Never before had she seen an adult publicly chastised, and most _certainly_ not in the presence of children! That had been the equivalent of _mind your own damn business_. She almost felt embarrassed _for_ poor Mr. Sheldon! He'd only been trying to be nice! It was looking more and more to Audrey as though Mr. Sheldon was not a willing participant in the Miller/Sheldon feud, as though he'd fallen into the middle of it accidentally.

Mr. Sheldon cleared his throat, blushing. "Yes, I suppose that would be your decision to make."

There was a very awkward silence.

"Audrey," Mother spoke after a moment, "why don't you go and get some milk, it'll save us some time."

"Yes, Mother," Audrey replied, moving away from the awkward scene only too happily. She had turned two corners when she heard footsteps behind her, and when she turned to see who it was, she almost groaned at the fact that Bob was following her. She had a feeling she knew _exactly_ what he wanted to talk about. Or rather, _who_.

Her blonde hair whipped around her face as she quickly spun to face forward again. _Just ignore him_, she thought to herself, _maybe he'll go away_.

Yeah, right.

As they hit the refrigerated section, she heard Bob call out to her.

"Hey, uh… Audrey?"

She sighed heavily, leaning over to get the milk. Her mind worked frantically, trying to figure out a way that she could refuse to talk to him and _not_ come off as rude.

There didn't seem to be one.

And so she was forced to turn and look at him after she had straightened. He stood with his hands in his pockets, his black hair as perfectly-styled as ever.

"Yes?_" _

"I want to talk to you about Cherry."

Oh glory, _no_. She did not have the patience for this discussion. She already knew what was coming, could see it written all over his face. He wanted her to put in a good word with Cherry so that the redhead would take him back. He was looking at her, his dark eyes all wide, the way he did with Cherry whenever he wanted something.

"What about her?" she asked, playing dumb.

"Look, I'm real sorry to be botherin' you Audrey, but Cherry ain't answering any of my calls and when I try and talk to her at school she goes into the girls' bathroom!"

"Well, Bob," Audrey began, "I think that that might mean that she doesn't want to talk to you."

"Well I know that! But I want her back, Audrey, I made a real big mistake when I let her go! C'mon Audrey, can't you just get her to talk to me? Just for five minutes?"

Audrey groaned. All she'd wanted to do was get the milk and get back to Mother, and perhaps hear the tail-end of her conversation with Mr. Sheldon. Instead she had Bob asking her to help him get back together with one of her closest friends, and she wasn't even sure how much she really _liked_ Bob anyway. Sure, he'd always been nice enough to _her_, but it didn't take a whole lot to realize that that boy had a mean streak in him.

"Look, Bob… Cherry doesn't want to be with you while you're drinking so much. That's why you guys broke up. If you really want her back, ditch the beer."

Bob's eyes widened in obvious surprise, and Audrey realized that Bob hadn't known that she knew about the drinking.

She decided to take advantage of his shock, and practically ran back to Mother.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

"_My boyfriend's back and you're gonna be in trouble,_

_(Hey-la-day-la, my boyfriend's back)_

_You see him comin' better cut out on the double,_

_(Hey-la-day-la, my boyfriend's back)_

_You been spreading lies that I was untrue,_

_(Hey-la-day-la, my boyfriend's back)_

_So look out now, cause he's comin' after you_"

A week later saw Audrey and Cherry breaking out silly dance moves in Audrey's bedroom, singing in deliberately off-key voices over the sound of 'My Boyfriend's Back' by The Angels on the radio. It was when Audrey accidentally sang the line "_You're a big man now but he'll cut you down to size_" wrong that they erupted into a fit of giggles and collapsed back onto Audrey's bedspread.

Audrey was relieved that Cherry seemed so happy. Ever since the break-up with Bob, she'd been melancholy, and though Audrey had _tried_ to support her, there wasn't much she could do about the fact that Cherry would often burst into tears for no apparent reason other than give her a hug and tell her that everything would be okay.

But today it seemed as though Cherry had finally pulled herself out of that depression, and Audrey was relieved that there would be no more late-night phone calls, no random spurts of tears, no more complaints of _but Audrey, I love him_!

The exclamations of love particularly disturbed Audrey, but it made her think of her relationship with Johnny, and how fragile it really was. After she and Daniel had broken up, Audrey had cried. At the time she'd thought that it was because her heart was broken. She knew better now. Her pride had been hurt. She'd cried because she was embarrassed that she'd been dumped, and she didn't want to have to face everyone in school and say _he broke up with me_. Because then people would ask why he'd broken up with her, the unspoken implication being _what did you do to make him break up with you_? She'd cried because she'd wondered if there was something wrong with her that made her unlovable. It hadn't occurred to her at the time that maybe neither of them was really ready for a serious relationship, or that maybe they just weren't right for each other.

But seeing Cherry so upset over the last couple of weeks made Audrey wonder what heartbreak, _real_ heartbreak actually felt like. If Cherry was any indication, she thought it must be awful. Cherry was usually so strong, so independent, so opinionated, but lately all that Audrey could see her as was lost and confused and hurt. She hated seeing Cherry reduced to that.

But even worse was that awful, niggling thought at the back of Audrey's mind-

_Is this what I'd be reduced to if Johnny and I ever broke up_?

It wasn't implausible. Just the _thought_ of something happening to her relationship with Johnny scared her to death. If she ever broke up with Johnny, she wasn't sure what she'd do with herself. He'd become such a huge, important part of her life. She _loved_ him. Without even meaning to, she'd begun to imagine a future with him, and by this point, she could no longer imagine a future _without_ him.

But, she suddenly realized, wasn't a future without Johnny inevitable? The Millers were here for Daddy's case, and _only_ for Daddy's case. If everything went to plan, they'd be back in Seattle by March. Her parents didn't even know she was dating him, and if they _did_, they'd certainly go out of their way to make sure she _stopped_ dating him. She wouldn't get any support from them in a long distance relationship, a relationship that was looking less and less feasible by the minute. And even if that ever somehow ceased to be a problem, there was still the fact that Audrey desperately wanted to attend Juilliard after high school.

And Johnny couldn't afford to follow Audrey to New York, nor did she think he'd want to.

And thoughts like _that_ were precisely the reason that Audrey was happy Cherry was no longer so upset. Selfish, perhaps, but true.

Cherry was still giggling to herself even though Audrey had long since quieted.

Audrey smiled. "You seem really happy," she teased.

Cherry looked over at her, smile blinding. "I _am_, Audrey," she breathed. "You'll never guess what happened last night!"

"What happened last night?"

"I talked to Bob!"

Oh no. Audrey felt a sinking sensation in her gut. The only reason that Cherry would possibly be happy about talking to Bob would be if they had gotten back together. Bob was a nice enough guy before he started with the drinking, but at this point in time, Audrey _really_ didn't think he was very good for Cherry. Before they'd broken up, all their relationship seemed to do was distress her.

"Oh, did he?" Audrey asked, her voice weary, the smile having been wiped abruptly off her face.

Cherry nodded happily. "He told me he was done with the alcohol. That he loves me, and he didn't want nothing to come between us."

"Oh, right…"

Isn't that what Bob had continuously told Cherry _before_ they'd broken up? And he never did quit! She had a hard time understanding how a few pretty, yet ultimately overused, meaningless words could pull Cherry back into a relationship that was becoming dysfunctional.

The smile slowly slid off of Cherry's pretty face. She sat up straight on the bed and looked down at Audrey, who sensed the shift in mood and moved to sit up as well.

"You're not happy for me," Cherry stated.

Audrey bit her lip. "I… I'm happy that you're happy. I just… well, I want you to _stay_ happy."

"And you don't think that Bob, the person I'm _in love with_, can do that for me?"

"…Well, it's just… you weren't very happy before."

"But he said he'd change-"

"So? He's said that before, and he was lying! And then you'd come crying to me about it!"

The look on Cherry's face suddenly became very hostile. "Y'know what, Audrey? I don't even know what right you think you have, judging my relationship with Bob when _you're_ going out with a stupid _Greaser_!"

Audrey jumped off the bed in anger. "Johnny is _not_ stupid! Don't ever say that again! And even if he _were_, which he's _not_, our situations are completely different Cherry! You can't compare our relationships!"

"Well how are they different, huh? Audrey, you could really get _hurt_, goin' out with a Greaser-"

"But that's exactly the difference!" Audrey exploded. "Johnny doesn't hurt me! He wouldn't!"

Cherry blinked, surprised. "Are you saying that Bob _hurts_ me?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying," Audrey snapped.

"I'll have you know, Bob's never laid a hand on me-"

Audrey found herself groaning in frustration. "That's not the kind of hurt I'm talking about! Bob hurts you emotionally, and you know he does, or else you wouldn't have broken up with him in the first place! Every time he lies to you about where he's been or whether or not he was drinking you get hurt!"

Cherry looked at the carpet for several minutes, and the silence in Audrey's bedroom after the shouting match was horrifyingly thick and uncomfortable. When the redhead finally looked up, all Audrey could see in her light green eyes was defiance.

"Well, you don't gotta worry about me coming and crying to you no more, Audrey," she said, her voice cold. And then she stood and quickly left, leaving Audrey feeling both frustrated and immensely guilty.

A few moments after the front door slammed, Daddy appeared at her bedroom door, concern radiating from his hazel eyes.

"Something wrong, honey? You two get into a fight?"

Audrey stared hard at the floor, blinking back the tears that had suddenly sprung to her eyes before he could see.

"It was nothing, Daddy. It was stupid."

He nodded in acceptance of what she'd said, but he still came into her bedroom and pulled her into a tight, comforting hug. She relaxed into him, burying her face in his shirt while she calmed herself down. She'd forgotten, over the last few months, Daddy's ability to make everything seem _better_.

"You know you can talk to me, right kiddo?" he whispered into her hair. "You can tell me anything."

Those were the words of her childhood, back when Daddy had been the equivalent of a superhero. No matter what was wrong, Daddy could make it better, Daddy could make it go away. The words were _so_ familiar, _so_ comforting, that she almost wanted to open her mouth and tell him all about Johnny. Surely, once Daddy knew how much she loved Johnny he'd help her figure out what to do. Maybe they could even stay in Tulsa permanently, and when it came time for her to go to Juilliard, Daddy could pay for Johnny to go to New York with her.

Except she didn't, because those fantasies were childish, and things in the real world just didn't work that way.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

When the phone rang at 9:00 that night, Audrey picked up the receiver faster than she had in her whole life, knowing that it was Johnny calling.

"Hi!" she said quickly, almost the second she had it pressed against her ear.

"Hey…" she heard him say back, and something in her unclenched at the sound of his voice. Curiously, she felt tears of relief prickling at her eyes. He seemed to sense, even over the phone, that something was wrong.

"You okay, Audrey?" he asked, his voice gentle. "Did somethin' happen?"

She bit her lip and sniffled a bit, trying to decide whether or not she wanted to tell him about her fight with Cherry, but finally decided that she'd rather hear _his_ voice right now over her own.

"I don't really want to talk about it," she said, because she never really could bring herself to lie to Johnny. She screwed her eyes shut against the fresh, hot wave of tears. God, what was wrong with her? She was being so pathetic. She'd known from the start that she'd have to leave Tulsa someday, and she still had a few months to go before it happened anyway. She should stop being such a baby.

"I really wish you could come over tonight," she found herself whispering tearfully into the phone, surprising herself. The nights that Johnny spent at her house weren't really something that either of them talked about outside of her bedroom.

It seemed she'd surprised him as well, she could tell from his silence on the other end of the phone. Call her crazy, but Audrey could swear that Johnny's silences were different, depending on his emotions at the time, and this was his startled silence.

Finally, he spoke. "I don't think that'd be a real good idea. I mean, after last time…"

Despite the refusal in his words, she could tell from his tone that if she asked again, he'd come right over, no questions asked. But she wouldn't, because she knew he'd get in a lot of trouble if he was found in her room. She'd be patient, and wait awhile, until she was as sure as she could be that they wouldn't get caught. He didn't deserve to get in trouble for her breaking her parents' rules.

"I know it's not, I was just saying that I _wish_ you could," she reassured.

It was quiet for a minute, and then he said, "I wish I could too."

She settled onto her side, wiping the last of the tears away. "Tell me about your day," she said, the desire to hear his voice still strong.

Because it proved that he was still there, and he was still hers.


	17. Time Stands Still

Chapter 17: Time Stands Still

**Disclaimer: Guys, I'm gonna admit it- I'm just not **_**awesome**_** enough to have created 'The Outsiders'… or Dallas Winston. **

**Right, so, the very beginning of this chapter features some content that might be on the higher end of a T rating, though we've still got a few more chapters before we hit any M content. I just figured I'd warn you guys since it's the first time in the story that anything really goes beyond what you might call… **_**innocent**_**. I'm not sure whether to slap an official warning in the story though cause I'm not sure how bothered you guys are gonna be about second base, but whatever. **

**OOOOHHHH! Also! Good news! I'm hoping to update 3-4 times minimum in the next 2 weeks because I'm on Easter break. I have a Walking Dead story as well, but I'm putting my focus on this story because we're reaching a pivotal point with it, and I think it deserves my undivided attention at the moment. Plus, I feel bad cause I have been really sucky with updates lately. Don't know if you guys noticed. (Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight….)**

**To my wonderful guest reviewers-**

_**Gracie**_**: Thank you for your congratulations and wishes of future success! God knows I'm wishing too. This chapter will be of a different kind of emotional- we still see Audrey's friends, but there's also significantly more Johnny, as I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear :D**

_**Guest**_**: I always get so happy when people tell me they can relate to my story! It means that I'm doing a good job of making it realistic! Thank you, thank you, thank you!**

_**Wow**_**: Aww, I always love your reviews! I'll admit, I got mad at Cherry too when she refused to see Johnny in the hospital, but in general I've always liked her character. I've always found her sort of acceptance but also sort of not acceptance of the Greasers interesting, so I thought I'd play with that in this! **

_**Cheshire**_**: Yeah, I couldn't be bothered to log in and PM, so I was like, 'I'll answer her with the guest reviews! Cause like, technically you did review as a guest :P Yeah, I always figured that with Bob's apparent drinking problem, his relationship with Cherry would be a little dysfunctional… I always thought that she wouldn't have put up with it if she didn't love him, but then at the same time she seemed a little… well, not quite as affected by his death as she could've been. So I wanted to show how that change occurred, from loving him to being relatively indifferent. Lol, you think Mrs. Miller is scary? I like to think of her as having sharp, frosty edges, myself :P Of course, being Audrey's mother she loves her so there's the occasional moment of niceness, but she was not created to be a very maternal character. Plus there are some other, uh… **_**factors**_** screwing around with their relationship that become clear later on in the story. And yes, this chapter features Johnny/Audrey for sure ;)**

**As always, thank you for your overwhelming support of this fanfic, I never dreamed people would like it so much!**

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

Audrey sighed happily, stretching her body against the length of warmth at her side like a cat lazily absorbing the sun's rays. Johnny shifted next to her on the bed, one of his arms curling around her back. She liked it when he did that. It made her feel secure. She cuddled closer and smiled into the hot skin of his neck when she felt his fingers card through her hair, and briefly turned her head to kiss his jaw before settling back against him and relaxing.

She'd missed this. It was almost December and it'd been _weeks_ since Johnny had spent the night at her house. She thought that maybe soon they'd feel comfortable enough to attempt it again, but the time had not yet come, much to her dissatisfaction. It had snowed, surprising Audrey who'd been sure when she moved to Oklahoma that she'd never see snow again, which may have been a _little_ overdramatic, but we're digressing here. The point _was_, his body heat was absolutely delicious, and Audrey thought she could just _bathe_ in it.

It was a Saturday, and Mother and Daddy had informed her they'd be spending the day with Mr. and Mrs. Valance. She suspected she would've been dragged along too, had it not been for the fact that Cherry had already arranged to spend the day with Bob.

She sighed again, though this time it was not in happiness. _Cherry_. She really did need to fix that. She still thought her point of view was completely justified. Bob kept lying to her, and it always made Cherry cry, and Audrey didn't really think their relationship was all that healthy, but she thought that maybe she'd been wrong to try and force Cherry to leave him again. That probably just made her feel like Audrey was forcing Cherry to chose between her and Bob. Audrey didn't want to be the enemy.

She supposed, that if Cherry insisted on breaking herself this way, then she'd just have to stick around and help pick up the pieces when Cherry realized what she'd done.

Johnny sensed her shift in mood immediately.

"Ya alright?" he asked, brushing his lips across her temple, his Southern drawl sounding even lazier in the haze of their afternoon cuddle.

She nodded against him, pulling back slightly so she could stare into his eyes. She'd thought when they first met, and perhaps for a little while after, that his eyes _must_ be a dark brown. Black eyes simply weren't in the spectrum of human eye color. But at times like these, laying so close to him that her inhale was his exhale, she could see that _yes_, his eyes were _black_. It was like staring into a yawing, gaping abyss, and if you fell in, you'd never know how far you'd fall, if the landing would hurt, indeed, if you'd ever _stop_ falling. Because Audrey was convinced there was no end to Johnny Cade. There were too many layers. Like trying to peel the never-ending onion- you'd never reach the middle. The strange depth in his eyes drew her focus every single time, and yet, just when she thought she might drown in the velvety darkness, she'd catch a spark, a light in the back of his eyes, and something about it always made her kiss him hard.

As she did now.

When she pulled away, she'd ruined his hair, much to her surprise. She hadn't even actually realized she'd been touching it in the first place.

He took a moment to recover, and then said, "You didn't answer my question."

She blinked languidly at him, a little dazed. Why did he have to be so _breathtaking_?

"You asked a question?" she asked stupidly.

Johnny wasn't one of the most confident people she'd ever met, and he very often was oblivious to the effect that he had on her simply because he didn't _believe_ he could cause that kind of effect. But this time was not one of those times. He'd obviously realized his powers of distraction in this instance, because a rare, self-satisfied smirk curled at his lips- _and oh, she really wanted to kiss him again_- and he laughed at her.

"I asked if ya were alright."

That's when she remembered that she'd been thinking about Cherry.

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine, I… how do you do that though?"

"Do what?" he asked, threading his fingers through hers.

"You always know what I'm thinking or feeling."

He shrugged at her. "I ain't nothin' special. You always know how I feel, too."

"I think you're special," she said suddenly, unable to control the words coming out of her mouth. How did he always do this to her? It was like he had some unknown power that compelled her thoughts, no matter how embarrassing, to form into words so that he could always know what she was thinking. "I think you're amazing. Kind and thoughtful and sensitive, and maybe a little bit angry at the world sometimes, for the way your parents treat you and the way people look down on Greasers, but really you're an incredible person. You're really… you're so loyal Johnny and I… I wish I could _compare_-"

Suddenly his hands were cupping her face and forcing her to look into those entrancing eyes. "What?" he asked, disbelief coloring his tone. "Audrey… _you're _the amazing one! Ya could'a just ignored me once ya found out I was a Greaser, but ya stuck by me and, well, I didn't really think girls came as nice as you, Audrey. You're always there for me, and ya treat everyone real good, no matter how much money they got. That's a heck of a lot nicer'n me. Ya know I get into it with the Socs."

Oh boy, did she know about that. She really wished the boys would be more careful, but that was like wishing the wind would stop blowing.

She smiled at him though, running a hand through his hair and ignoring the hair grease. "Maybe we can just call it a truce and say we're both amazing?" she said, half-serious, half-teasing.

He gave her a cute, boyish grin that made her stomach flip-flop and the words _I love you_ rise up her throat, but she pushed that away when he leaned in and kissed her again.

Glory, he made her such a _sap_.

The kiss lasted longer than the others, and when she needed oxygen, she pulled away and was surprised when he kissed her cheek, her jaw, her neck. She decided she liked it though and gasped, clutching him closer invitingly. They moved in for another kiss and she felt his hands beginning to slide upwards from her waist, and she thought that if he decided he wanted to take things a step further, she'd let him.

She was surprised, despite her decision to let him continue should he try anything, at the disappointment she felt when he _didn't_ try anything. His hands had been drifting ever-more North, but then, skittishly, they skimmed quickly back towards her waist. A thought crossed her mind, and she tried to push it away because _that_ would be _far_ too embarrassing, but when he pulled back and kissed her collarbone, words seemed to fling themselves from her depths.

"You can if you want to, you know," she said a little breathlessly.

He froze against her, his head snapping up quickly. "I can… _what_?" he asked, and for an awful moment she thought she'd misunderstood his intentions. But no, she realized as a fiery hot blush raced up her throat and bloomed in her cheeks, she hadn't misunderstood. He was looking at her more intently than he ever had before, and the force of his undivided attention made her shiver pleasantly.

She blushed again, trying to find the words. Really, she already had them, but she was too embarrassed to say them.

He kissed her again, and when he pulled away it was like he'd pulled the words with him.

"You can touch me if you want."

There was an odd moment of absolute stillness, as though time had frozen around them, in which Audrey's heart beat so hard and fast she thought that for sure it was going to pound its way right out of her chest. He was staring so deeply into her eyes that she thought he must be able to see her soul.

Then he looked away and dipped his head to kiss the arch of her neck again. As a moan escaped her, time sped up again and she felt his hands slowly leave her waist and inch upwards. He still seemed to be faltering a little, and that's when she realized that the reason he'd buried his face in her neck was because he was too nervous to look at her.

With trembling hands and so much anxious anticipation in her that she shook like a leaf, she guided him to where she wanted him. "It's okay," she heard herself whisper into the cold air of her bedroom. "I want you to."

With that last modicum of reassurance, he was suddenly cupping her breasts through her blouse, and even though she'd known it was coming, there was something so unexpected and foreign about the sensation that she couldn't help the loud gasp that flew from her lips.

It seemed like she startled him, because he quickly snatched his hands back and made like he was about to leap off of her, but she locked her arms around his neck before he could.

"Shit, Audrey, I'm sorry-"

She laughed a little, at the unexpectedness of his cursing. He tended to swear sometimes around the gang, but usually when it was just him and her, his language was clean.

"Johnny, it's fine, you didn't do anything wrong."

"I didn't?" he asked, sounding so surprised that she laughed again.

"You didn't," she confirmed, kissing him quickly. He leaned in for another, longer kiss, and then he asked, avoiding her eyes, "Uh, d'ya wanna, uh… maybe… try that again? I mean- only if _you_ want to…"

She had a little trouble understanding why he looked like he thought she'd say no, when she was the one who initiated this whole thing in the first place, but she quickly decided that that wasn't very important right now.

"Yes," she said, nodding firmly, and he again looked surprised.

A moment later, however, he was moving his hands back to her breasts, with the most adorable look of concentration that Audrey had ever seen on another human being. There was a second of awkwardness when he was cupping her in his hands again, and they both stared at each other, not sure what came next.

He gave an experimental squeeze, and she was surprised by how _good_ it felt, as her back arched and she pressed herself further into his hands. He started, like he couldn't believe that he'd caused that reaction, and she couldn't help the giggle that burst forth.

His dark eyes traced away from where they'd been intensely staring at his hands on her chest, and up to her sparkling blues. He smiled a little sheepishly at her.

"I, uh… don't really know what to do next…" he whispered.

She leaned up to kiss him, whispering against him, "Me neither."

They looked at each other for a moment before laughing at the complete awkwardness of their position, and how completely _not_ awkward it felt with each other. He chuckled into her shoulder as he moved her hands back down to her waist.

"Well, that was fun," Audrey said, still laughing, and she felt the curve of his cheek pressing into her and knew he was smiling.

They spent the rest of the afternoon laying together on the bed, talking about everything and nothing, important things and silly things, and sometimes they didn't talk at all, but just enjoyed each others' company. And somehow, despite the awkwardness of their earlier encounter, Audrey felt closer to Johnny that afternoon than she ever had before.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

In Biology on Monday, Dawn had showed up wearing a necklace made from leather string and a peace sign. She'd also had a feather braided into her long brown hair and Audrey had raised an eyebrow in surprise at the style-change.

She was a little unsure where she stood with Dawn. She wanted things to be like they'd been before, but the fact of the matter was, they hadn't been spending as much time with each other as of late.

But then Dawn smiled at her, and Audrey felt something inside her heave a huge sigh of relief.

"Listen," Dawn started once the teacher had turned to write something on the board. "I'm real sorry that I haven't been spendin' as much time with you lately. I just… well, ya gotta admit, you're not interested in politics and the war and campaigning for peace-"

Audrey opened her mouth in indignation at that, but Dawn waved her off.

"No, I mean, you _want_ peace, but you're not getting ready to join the revolution or nothin'."

Audrey eyed her. "And you are?"

Dawn squirmed. "Well, not sure if it's really a _revolution_, but I'm prepared to say my piece."

Audrey's lips twitched in a suppressed smile. "Your piece?"

Dawn looked at her weirdly. "Yeah… what's wrong with that?"

Audrey felt laughter bubble up in her. "You're prepared to say your piece… about peace?"

They looked at each other steadily for a minute before bursting into such loud laughter that they were sent out into the hallway. They made their way out of the classroom, still giggling, and closed the door behind them, blocking their view of their extremely annoyed Biology teacher.

"Audrey, I think that was the worst joke I ever did hear!"

"Then why'd you laugh so hard, huh?"

Dawn snorted. "I'm laughin' at how _stupid_ you are," she said, though the smile on her face betrayed her.

Audrey mock-pouted. "And here I thought we were friends!"

Dawn hugged her unexpectedly, smelling suspiciously like her mother's perfume. "We _are_ friends. I'm sorry I've been such a bad one lately. I'll do better from now on, 'kay?"

Audrey smiled and hugged her back. "'Kay."

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

Because of the fact that Johnny wasn't spending nights at her house, they generally tried to make up for it by meeting up whenever they could. Even during school. The result was that instead of hanging with the gang outside of school, Johnny was normally holed up in an empty classroom with Audrey. This happened _so_ frequently that Two-Bit had recently nicknamed her 'the Johnny-napper'. She wasn't sure how much she appreciated it, though she couldn't help laughing every time she heard it.

And thus it was during that lunch period that he kissed her in greeting in Mrs. Kessler's classroom. She was a Spanish teacher who Audrey was beyond thankful she didn't have because word around the high school was, she was an absolute monster.

"Hey there, Sugarplum," he said after pulling away.

Audrey gaped gracelessly at him. "You- what- _no_! Not you too! I get it enough off Dally!"

He snickered at her. "Aw, I dunno, I think Dal's onto somethin'."

"Glory, you'd think my own _boyfriend_ would be on _my_ side…"

He hugged her then, smoothing stray hair away from her face. "I'm always on your side, babe," he murmured.

She smiled at him and kissed him lightly. "Good." And then she went in for another kiss.

"Hey, wait a minute," he mumbled against her lips. "Aren't ya supposed to say you're always on my side, too?"

The question made her laugh into the kiss, and she was just about to pull back and tell him that _of course_ she was always on his side when, suddenly, without warning, the classroom door opened.

Johnny and Audrey immediately sprung apart, standing almost on completely opposite ends of the room, but she could tell from the shock on the intruder's face that they'd already seen.

Johnny, Audrey and the person at the door all stared at each other in oppressive silence for several heartbeats, until the newcomer finally spoke.

"What in the _world_?"

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

**OMG, cliffhanger! Yeah… like I said earlier, I didn't know whether to mark off some of the less innocent content in this chapter because they only went to second base, and it was really **_**awkward**_** second base. Speaking of the awkwardness, I was really trying to keep Johnny in character… I kind of feel like he'd be afraid to touch a girl like that in case she rejected him, and I hate reading stories when Johnny's really confident about, ahem, those kinds of activities because like… well he's **_**not**_** very confident, is he? Anyway, please review and let me know what you think, guys! **


	18. How Can I Love

Chapter 18: How Can I Love

**Disclaimer: I own none of it, my darlings!**

**Woohoo, quickest I've updated in awhile! This chapter's fun, we get to see who walked in on them, plus there's other developments as well. I'm sure you won't be pleased to know that the rest of the Socs make a reappearance, but eh, what can you do? If this was a story purely about fluff, I think it probably would've been over by now. As it is, I think we're maybe at about the half-way mark. **

**Fantabulous guest reviewers!**

_**Gracie**_**: Do you stalk this fanfic? I swear, you're always one of my first reviewers! Not that I'm complaining! :P I'm glad you think it's realistic, that was exactly what I was striving for. I picture Johnny and Audrey to be a couple that would have to deal with some awkward fumbling before getting to the good stuff ;)**

_**halo**_**: The Spanish teacher? Huh, I hadn't even thought of making it the Spanish teacher! It's a good idea, the mentor thing you mentioned, but alas, it is not to be in this fic!**

_**Anon**_**: Yay! Thank you, for thinking it's realistic, that's what I wanted! **

_**Wow**_**: You shall see who it is in a moment! Patience, Wow! The cliffhanger wasn't mean :'(… well, actually it was…. And I loved it, muahahahahaha!**

**Thank you all so much for sticking to this story, even though there are authors on this site that write so much better than me and my update schedule as of late has been unreliable, to say the least.**

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Audrey looked over at Johnny, who was staring at the person in the doorway, his dark eyes wider than ever with surprise. She exchanged a panicked glance with him. Her heart was beating a million miles an hour and the adrenaline thumping through her veins had triggered a fight or flight response.

It seemed Audrey leaned on the side of _flight._

Steadfastly ignoring the impulse to grab Johnny's hand and run far, far away, she looked imploringly at the shocked girl in the doorway.

"Marcia…" she began, her voice pleading. Shocked brown eyes locked onto Audrey, her mouth having fallen open into a perfect 'o' shape. Marcia's attention flitted rapidly between Audrey and Johnny, that impression of disbelief etched all over her face. She blinked and shook her head, several times as though trying to convince herself that she _hadn't_ seen what she thought she saw. She'd just imagined everything…

Except she hadn't, and Audrey knew that Marcia knew she hadn't.

"Au-Audrey… you- what? I don't… I don't understand…"

It was like her feet had been stuck to the floor by some invisible force, and Marcia speaking was the catalyst to finally being able to _move_. She made a bee-line for Marcia, tugging on her sleeves and making the other girl look at her.

"Marcia, I can explain."

"How? Audrey, he's a _Greaser_!"

Audrey heard the animosity injected into that one word, and couldn't stop herself from turning her head quickly to Johnny. Hurt flitted briefly before his eyes before he shrugged it off, used to it, but Audrey couldn't help the swell of resentment she felt towards Marcia for making Johnny feel bad.

"Audrey, do you have any idea how stupid this is? If people find out, you'll be ruined! God, this is social suicide!"

Audrey turned back to the dark-haired girl, irritation present in the harsh lines of her body language.

"You know what, Marcia? I would have expected this kind of reaction from Cherry, but not from you. I didn't think you cared all that much about popularity."

Marcia blushed.

"Well, puttin' it like that, you make me sound shallow…"

Audrey raised an eyebrow and Marcia glared at her, snapping, "And anyway, Cherry will be _worse_ when she finds out, don't you worry 'bout that."

"Cherry already knows," Audrey said. Maybe by letting Marcia know that Cherry tolerated her relationship with Johnny, then she would do the same.

"Cherry already- _what_!? Oh Lordy, what's happenin' to the world?"

Marcia did indeed look a little lost, like the foundation to everything that she knew had just radically shifted beneath her. And maybe it had, in a way. Marcia had spent most of her life being told that kids like Johnny were from the wrong side of town, and that if girls like her knew what was good for them, they'd stay far away. And now, she'd walked in on one of her friends kissing a no-good Greaser, and had just found out that Cherry Valance, the Soc Queen, was an active participant in keeping it a secret.

Audrey found herself feeling a little sorry for Marcia. And she was really such a nice girl, her bad reaction probably had more to do with her surprise than any wishes of ill-will.

"Look, Marcia, Cherry knows and she's been keeping it a secret because, I-" she blushed, looking at Johnny out of the corner of her eye. He looked very interested in their conversation and the thought of saying some of the things that she wanted to say in front of Johnny was mildly embarrassing, but she plowed on regardless.

"She's been keeping it a secret because I really care about Johnny and he makes me happy." She blushed harder.

Marcia stared at her like she'd grown two heads and an extra arm.

"But… he's a Greaser." There wasn't any hostility in her tone this time, only confusion. She reminded Audrey of a puppy who didn't understand why chewing a pair of shoes was a bad thing. She had that same bewildered expression on her face, like she'd never really thought about the fact that they were all just people, and that Socs and Greasers were just labels.

"Yes… he's also a _boy_, you know."

"But isn't it- isn't he… well I mean-" she shot a quick glance at Johnny before lowering her voice to a whisper. "Isn't he kinda _dangerous_?"

Audrey snorted at the thought of Johnny being dangerous. Oh, sure, she _knew _he'd had trouble with the Socs, knew that you just didn't come from the South side of town and not know how to fight. But she also knew that gentle Johnny was a pacifist if she'd ever met one, and that he himself had never started a fight in his life. The idea of him hurting _her_ seemed even more ridiculous, and she'd almost forgotten that Cherry had the very same concern.

"I assure you, he's not. Any fights that he's gotten into have been purely in self-defense."

Marcia looked back at him doubtfully. "I dunno. I mean sure, he's kinda small and skinny, but he looks pretty rough. And _golly_, I can smell the cigarette smoke from here!"

"Okay, look, Marcia, do you trust me?"

"What kinda question is-"

"_Do you trust me_?"

Marcia jerked back in surprise at the earnestness of Audrey's tone.

"Well, I mean… yeah, I guess-"

"Good. Because I trust him. So trust my judgment."

Marcia opened her mouth to say something, but Audrey cut her off.

"And I trust you too, you know. As my friend, I trust you. Which is why I _know_ that you're not going to tell _anybody_ about what you saw here today. Because I've asked you, _as my friend_ to keep it a secret, because _as my friend_, I trust you."

Marcia stood there gaping at her for a moment. Audrey made it a point to ignore Johnny's snickering in the background, and held eye-contact with Marcia, trying to convey in every possible way how serious she was about keeping this a _secret_.

Finally Marcia gave out a little frustrated huff and nodded her head jerkily. Audrey smiled widely, and hugged her. When she pulled back, Marcia was eyeing her, half-annoyed, half-amused.

"Y'know, you're a lot more manipulative than people give you credit for, Audrey Miller."

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

They still had half of lunch to go, but Marcia still seemed reluctant to leave Audrey alone with Johnny, so he'd said he was going to go out and meet up with the gang. Audrey followed Marcia sullenly back to the cafeteria.

Both girls were surprised to find that their friends were actually standing in a close-knit circle just _outside_ of the cafeteria doors. Audrey found herself confused. It'd been awhile since she'd eaten with them, but surely their habits hadn't changed _this_ drastically-

That was when Audrey heard the soft sounds of muffled crying. Debbie and Cherry stood on either side of Dale, and Audrey was shocked to see his dark blue eyes clouded with tears. She immediately felt uncomfortable, having never seen a boy cry before, but her compassion overrode that in the end as she and Marcia rushed to him.

"What's wrong?" Audrey asked, a slightly horrified tone to her voice as she noted Danny, Kenny and Randy standing awkwardly off to the side, while David kept anxiously wandering between the cafeteria doors and the circle of support that the girls had erected around Dale.

"It's Peggy," Cherry whispered.

"A-and that fucking _bastard_, Chris!" Dale choked out.

That's when she noticed that Peggy, Chris and Bob were nowhere to be found.

"Wait," Marcia said, her hands raised in a 'hold up' gesture. "What's going on, exactly?"

"Dale found Chris and Peggy sucking face," Debbie said indelicately, starting another wave of tears from Dale.

"Uh, okay, where's Bob?" Audrey asked, her head spinning. She'd always known that Peggy had feelings for Chris, regardless of her relationship with Dale, but she hadn't thought she'd _cheat on him_.

Cherry's body language tightened unhappily, her lips suppressed into a thin, dissatisfied line on her pretty face. "He… _disapproves_ of Dale crying."

Dale gathered himself at that, wiping the tears away furiously, and when he looked back at them he looked _furious_.

"If that's what ya wanna call it, Cherry. Personally, _I_ thought he called me a fuckin' poof."

Audrey sighed. _Of course he did_…

"Okay, so, wait, Chris and _Peggy_?" Marcia asked in disbelief, right in front of Dale. She was nice, and funny, but tact had never been one of Marcia's strong suits.

"How long has _that_ been going on for?"

Dale looked like he might cry again, and Kenny called out to them, looking a little desperate. "Hey, uh, you guys look like y'all got it under control. We're gonna, uh…" he jerked his head in the direction of the cafeteria, and all the guys practically ran away from the impending tears.

Debbie rolled her amber-colored eyes. "Boys…"

"They've been sneakin' around behind my back since July."

Since _July_? Audrey felt a hot wave of fury rise up in her. _Since freaking July_!? She'd only gotten here in August! That whole time that Chris had been pestering her he'd been sticking his tongue down Peggy's throat? How dare he! What if Audrey had actually _liked_ the scum, and he was going around behind her back with _Peggy_?

She supposed she'd be a lot like Dale was right now.

She was so lucky she'd ended up with Johnny. Just the thought of him, his greased hair and large dark eyes and the way he kissed her made her calm down, made a little bubble of happiness rise in her. _So lucky_…

"I loved her," Dale said, his voice broken.

Though it bewildered Audrey to think of anyone falling in love with Peggy Montgomery, she found herself able to sympathize. She loved and trusted Johnny above all others, and the thought of him ever doing this to her… she could already feel faint echoes of jealousy and anger and heartbreak vibrate through her. She couldn't _imagine_ how awful the real thing would be…

The difference here was that Audrey never needed to worry about Johnny doing something like this to her.

_So lucky_.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

She was surprised when she got home after cheerleading practice and he was perched in the tree outside her window, staring expectantly at her with those very same big, dark eyes that she'd been thinking about earlier.

She let him in quickly and he was surprised by the hug she tackled him with. Not that she held back with the hugs (because she didn't) but normally she at least waited for him to get settled before she started to shower him with displays of affection.

"Hey… you okay?" he asked, sounding unsure.

She nodded into his jacket, not letting go. She felt him start to play with her hair. They stood in silence for what felt like several minutes.

"Something happen today?" Johnny asked. Audrey was always very open with her feelings towards him. If she wanted to touch him, hug him, kiss him, then she did. But this seemed… different somehow.

She sighed and pulled back. "No, I just… well, Dale and Peggy broke up and it just made me think…" she trailed off, feeling herself blush. "Well, it made me think that… I'm glad I have you, Johnny. I'm _lucky_ to have you."

He stared intensely at her for a length of time, and she was becoming uncomfortable, wondering if she'd said the wrong thing. She wasn't prepared for him to grasp _her_ in a hug, but his arms clasped around her waist and he leaned his forehead against her shoulder.

"D'ya… d'ya really think that, Audrey?"

She was surprised by how _vulnerable_ he sounded, like if she took her words back she'd break his heart.

"Of course I really think that, Johnny. God, what would I do _without_ you? I can't even picture it anymore!"

Which she knew was a very bad thing, considering her impending return to Seattle, but she ignored that thought in favor of listening to Johnny when he next spoke.

"Don't think nobody's _ever_ felt lucky to have me before," he said, his voice becoming muffled as he turned his head to rest in the crook of her neck. She adjusted so that one hand was playing with his hair, and thought of his parents, and how they did everything possible to let him know he was unwanted. She thought of the Socs at school, and how they took every opportunity to kick him when he was down. She thought of society, and how they looked down on him as a no-good hood. She thought of the fact that other than herself, the only people that were even really _nice_ to him were the gang.

Tears filled her eyes as she abruptly thought that no, nobody probably ever _had_ counted themselves lucky to have Johnny Cade in their lives.

Nobody but her, at least.

"Well they're all idiots," Audrey found herself whispering to him, wishing that she could somehow wave a magic wand and just _fix all of it_. "They don't know what they're missing out on. I _am_ lucky to have you, Johnny. I love you."

She'd known she was going to say the words about three seconds before they were out of her mouth, but they didn't seem so scary now. They weren't embarrassing, or shameful. They weren't anything but the truth. She loved Johnny Cade. If she was one to believe in such things, she'd say she loved him at first sight, but personally she thought that things like love grew over time.

It didn't really matter though, when she'd fallen in love with him. It just mattered that she loved him now. She felt _good_ about telling him, like some weight had been lifted from her and now she was free and flying. She wondered why it was so easy to say it now, when before it had seemed like she'd never manage to get the words out. She thought maybe it was because now he _needed_ to know that somebody loved him. Even if he didn't feel the same way, she'd be happy knowing that he knew that _somebody _loved him.

He'd gone unnaturally still the moment the words escaped her. She didn't even feel him breathing against her neck anymore. He pulled back from her very, very slowly.

"What?" he asked. She felt her heart clench when she realized that he thought he'd misheard her.

"I love you," she repeated boldly, making sure to make eye-contact and speak loudly and clearly. There would be no mistaking her on this.

He blinked at her a few times. His facial expression didn't change and she tried not to let her thoughts get carried away, because she was quickly becoming convinced that he didn't love her after all.

"You love me," he repeated. It wasn't a question or a statement. She wasn't sure _what_ it was, but she was quickly becoming upset by the echo of disbelief in it.

"Yes, I love you." She pressed their foreheads together. "Johnny, I love you," she whispered again, just because she'd said it now and she _could_ and it felt so freeing.

"Why?" he asked.

She laughed. "What do you mean, _why_?"

"Why?" he repeated. "Why d'ya love me? You could have anyone ya wanted-"

She interrupted him with a kiss. "That's the point, Johnny. I want _you_."

"But why?"

She smiled, and kissed his jaw before nuzzling his ear. Then she whispered into it,

"Johnny, there's a thousand reasons why."

He kissed her then, and she barely even noticed that he hadn't said it back, because this was _cloud nine_-

Then he was whispering against her lips, into her mouth, his words reverberating through her whole body-

"I love you, too, Audrey."

She'd been wrong. _This_ was sky-high on cloud nine.


	19. Take Away

Chapter 19: Take Away

**I am extremely sorry about not posting sooner, because I've had this chapter ready for weeks and just haven't been able to bring myself to get on the computer and post it. The truth is, my paternal grandfather passed away after his three-year fight with cancer very shortly after I posted my last chapter, and I also just found out that my maternal grandfather is going to have to endure a very serious heart operation and I'm sorry guys but I just don't have the energy right now. But I appreciate all of you so, so much, and it's only because of you that I've made it this far!**

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After saying 'I love you', Audrey felt as though she was bathing in never-ending happiness, a whole sea of it that would never dry up, and the waves would keep rolling and crashing against her forever and ever and ever and ever _and ever_.

Not being able to stand being apart, Johnny spent the night. In her worry, Audrey jammed her desk chair beneath the door handle so her parents couldn't get in. If they tried, they would definitely not be pleased that she had locked the door against them, but she thought it would be easier to explain a locked door than why there was a boy in her room.

As they lay under the covers, they spoke to each other, mostly repeating 'I love you' over and over, the novelty of the feeling and knowing that the feeling was returned still so achingly fresh that it almost made Audrey cry. She loved the light in his eyes when she told him she loved him, the disbelief still lingering, but it was more of an awed disbelief, like he couldn't believe he'd gotten so lucky, and it made her feel like the most important person in the world.

She wondered what she looked like when he told her that he loved her.

She decided to ask.

He twirled and twisted and played with her hair at the question, looking deeply into her eyes, and she felt so, so sappy and girly and romantic, but she _still loved it when he did that, she loved him_-

"Beautiful," was his response.

The euphoria was completely endless.

Later, he was sleepily pressing kisses to her cheeks and her lips and her nose and her neck, and for a moment she thought of taking off her nightgown and asking him to make love to her-

But it was one of those half-asleep thoughts, the kind that flash briefly through your mind and then the next moment you're well and truly asleep.

She dreamed a memory that night.

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For as long as Audrey could remember, Jackie Winters had been her best friend- not to say she was a very _good_ friend- but she was the best that Audrey had. It was one day during the spring of 1963, just a few months before Audrey's thirteenth birthday, that Jackie spoke a sentence that would resonate with Audrey for years to come.

They were both real well off, Audrey and Jackie. Jackie's daddy was a banker, and while Audrey's family had more money, the Winters made up for it by _outwardly appearing_ to have more money.

In the world of the rich and educated, appearances were everything.

Though Jackie was, in fact, Audrey's best friend, that didn't change the fact that such a friendship was, for the most part, superficial. It, like most things, had a lot to do with appearances. They'd walk through the neighborhood together, arms linked and gossiping about one silly thing or another, and it was so dreadfully boring and routine that Audrey would just about choke and gag on her words, and they'd hear the neighbors pointing them out to each other.

"_Oh, look, there's Jack's daughter with the Miller girl again_."

Jack Winters had been nicknamed on their street as 'the money man', and he was friendly with everyone, but there was a coldness about the man that deeply unsettled Audrey. Jackie was named after her father, after her parents got over the initial disappointment that she hadn't been born _Jack Jr_. Despite this, Jackie was startlingly independent from _both_ of her parents, rarely relying on them for _anything_, and she didn't seem particularly fond of them either.

Audrey had no real evidence, not even from the eight years she'd spent as Jackie Winters' best friend, but if she had to take a wild guess, she'd say the Winters family was more dysfunctional than the Millers could ever hope to be.

This was reinforced by Jackie's almost constant cynicism.

Audrey had been happy that spring day. She and Mother had been getting along better than usual, and it had been one of the warmest days of the year yet. She and Jackie had been laying under a tree, and Audrey had been mesmerized by the bright green filtering through the sunlit leaves, that exact same color that she'd tell Johnny Cade about a couple years later when he asked her about her favorite color.

Jackie was sat next to her, sat up, Audrey remembered, while she herself had been reclined against the grass, listening to the sounds that made up spring. Audrey had turned her head, smiling in happiness and content, and watched Jackie tug at the grass absentmindedly.

Jackie looked over. "What are you smiling at?" she asked.

Audrey had automatically smiled wider, shrugging her shoulders. "I don't know, I'm just happy I guess."

Jackie had begun to smile reflexively back at Audrey, but at her words, a wistful sort of unhappiness shadowed her face for a split second. She quickly looked away again, and let her pretty raven hair fall in silky, ribbon-like sheets over her face.

"You've got to be careful with happiness," she said finally.

"How come?" Audrey whispered softly.

Jackie looked back at her then, assessing, as though tying to decide whether or not to tell her. Audrey kept eye-contact in an effort to somehow _pull_ an answer out of Jackie. Jackie's eyes were blue, like that section of dark midnight sky wrapped snugly around the moon, the silvery light illuminating it for just that small fraction of space into a color that was just on the knife's edge between dark and bright. Audrey had always thought that Jackie had mysterious eyes. She wished she had eyes like Jackie. Her eyes were bright and clear, like the sky on a cloudless summer's day.

Finally Jackie answered.

"I don't think God likes for people to have more than a certain amount of happiness. The minute you get _too_ happy, He takes it away."

It was statements like those that, even in the years to come, when Jackie Winters was nothing more than a memory, that would always make Audrey wonder just _exactly_ what went on in her house, to feel such a deep sense of hopelessness at the age of twelve.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

Audrey woke up with the words, _the minute you get _too_ happy, He takes it away_ engraved in her mind, a feeling of deep uneasiness washing over her. She sucked in a breath to try and keep the feeling at bay, and turned over so she could see Johnny. The sight of his sleeping face, half-obscured by his hair and the pillow, helped her feel calmer, stronger. She focused on matching his deep, even breaths, the steady pulsing rhythm she could see in his neck, the way his coal black eyelashes fluttered appealingly against his cheeks. All of it was familiar and reassuring.

She didn't know how long she watched him, letting all thought drain away from her, letting him encompass her whole world. Breathe in. Breathe out. In. Out.

She was happy, and she decided that some half-memory from two and a half years ago spoken by a bitter child wasn't going to change that.

_Breathe_, she reminded herself.

In. Out.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

As they moved further into December, Audrey found herself more relieved than ever that her relationship with Johnny was going so well. She found her happiness was so great that the butterflies she'd normally be feeling about her upcoming Christmas performance in 'The Nutcracker' were almost non-existent. When she wasn't practicing, her days were spent at the Curtis house, where she spent more time than ever in an effort to avoid Mother, who became more insufferable the closer the performance came.

_You need to practice, Audrey_

_You need to improve your form, Audrey_

_You need to pay more attention to your footwork, Audrey_

_No, you can't eat that, Audrey. You'll get fat, and then how will you fit in your costume?_

Such comments had become the norm. The advice _would_ have been helpful and appreciated, had they not simply been generic comments on Mother's part. As it was, Mother hadn't taken the time to sit and watch Audrey practice her 'Nutcracker' routine in over a month. And far from _gaining_ weight, Audrey was certain she was losing it. Lately, Johnny had bruises on his arms in the mornings that he teasingly complained were because of her pointy elbows, though this had never been a problem before Mother and her crazy salad diet.

Because, if Mother were to be believed, salad was the only edible food on the face of the planet that wouldn't cause weight gain.

Audrey found herself somewhat doubtful.

At the Curtis', Audrey found herself spending more and more time with Mrs. Curtis, who claimed that all food was healthy in moderation, a view that Audrey quickly used to her benefit during visits. Sometimes she helped Mrs. Curtis cook, even though she'd been told she didn't have to, but Audrey didn't mind. Mother hardly ever cooked, they hired someone to do that, but Audrey wanted to be able to cook for herself when she moved out of her parents' house. When she'd shared this view with Mrs. Curtis, the woman had smiled that pretty, bright smile of hers, the one that made her look like an angel, and Audrey found herself guiltily wishing on one occasion that Mrs. Curtis were her mother.

And then there was Marcia, who, after she'd gotten over the shock of Audrey's relationship with Johnny, had become dreadfully curious. Audrey found she didn't mind at all. It gave her an excuse to talk about Johnny, which she tended to do all the time with the few people who knew anyway, though she thought that they might be getting a _little_ bit sick of it.

Questions like,

_What is it like, dating a Greaser_?

_Have you ever been there for a rumble_?

_Have you ever seen anyone get jumped_?

_Is he a good kisser_?

_Is it exciting, dating someone so dangerous_?

_Does he have tattoos_?

_Have you guys done it yet? Cause I've heard Greasers like to move fast…_

Became normal for Audrey, though Marcia had asked more than a few questions about how far she and Johnny had gone, and it _always_ made her blush, never mind the fact that she'd started to think more and more about going all the way.

It was an added bonus that Marcia had taken to sending curious glances at Johnny every time she saw him, and the half-wary, half-alarmed look he always gave her in return was an expression that Audrey found hilarious. At least Audrey had the decency to not outright laugh at him, unlike Dawn who'd burst into hysterics right there in the middle of the school hallway the first time she'd seen it.

And for awhile, at least, life was good.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}}

There came a night, in the middle of December, when Johnny didn't sneak into her room. She left the window open for him, just in case he came later. But he wasn't there when she woke up the next morning, either.

He wasn't waiting to walk her to school.

He wasn't _at_ school.

The pit of uneasiness that she'd felt in her stomach the morning after saying 'I love you' stretched back open without his calming presence.

_The minute you get _too_ happy, He takes it away_.

The sense of panic that quietly built itself to a frenzy in her all day was irrational, she told herself. While Johnny certainly attended school more often than he ever did when she first moved here, it was still not unusual for him to skip.

_Except he always calls and tells you_, spoke up the little voice in the back of her mind. _Always_.

Thoughts, unwanted thoughts swirled through her mind. What if he'd been hurt? What if he'd been jumped? What if he was lying in some dark alley, scared and broken and alone? What if his _dad_-

Her heart beat hard, a solid thump-thump-thump in her chest that contradicted her every time she tried to tell herself that _no, she was not panicking_-

The blank stare she was directing at her homework as her pen trembled in her hand said otherwise.

Her phone _finally_ rang.

She fair enough leaped across the whole of her bedroom, ripping the phone from the cradle.

"Hello?" she asked, voice breathless.

"Audrey?"

She sagged against the bed in relief. _Johnny_. It was Johnny's voice. _He was fine_.

"Audrey, you there?" Except something was wrong with his voice. It kept breaking, like he'd been crying. She suddenly felt sick. _What was wrong_?

"Johnny? Are you… are you okay?" She whispered it. Her voice sounded like she was afraid of the answer. Some vague, far-off, distant part of her mind wondered if maybe she was.

"Audrey, there's been an accident."


	20. Watching You Stand Alone

Chapter 20: Watching You Stand Alone

**Disclaimer: None of it is mine**

**First of all, I wanted to thank all of you so much for your condolences about my Grandpa, and your well wishes for my Papa's surgery. As it turns out, he WON'T be having to go through surgery, which was a huge relief to us all, because we knew that at his age it would be very, very risky. **

**About ATY: I went back and reread the whole thing beginning to end to check the flow of the story. I'm very, very pleased with Audrey's character development, she's come a long way, and Johnny has made her much more selfless than she was in chapter 1. The quality of my writing was actually atrocious when I first started this fic, so I'm sorry for that. I love you guys all the more for making it this far, because seriously, I did not stop cringing until chapter 7. My priority right now is to finish ATY, and then I will go back and edit :')**

**Also, just a heads up, this chapter focuses a lot less on Johnny/Audrey (though it's obviously still there) and more on the grief of Mr. and Mrs. Curtis' deaths. **

**GUEST REVIEWERS!**

_**Gracie**_**: Thank you for the thoughts and prayers, I really appreciated them. Yes, unfortunately the time for Mr. and Mrs. Curtis has come to an end. I was actually really reluctant to write this chapter because I didn't want to have to write about their deaths, but it's time :'( I do appreciate that you feel like Johnny and Audrey's relationship grows with each chapter, because, obviously, that was the point of the story :')**

_**Wow**_**: No, Johnny doesn't get jumped until like, spring or something. We are in December. I'm really dreading Johnny getting jumped, I just love him too much to do it to him :'( Thank you for you condolences, and I'm also very sorry to hear about your grandparents xox**

_**hola**_**: Yep, I was not looking forward to this chapter, but it had to be done. And thank you for wishing my grandfather luck.**

_**Guest**_**: Well, there were two guest reviewers, so I guess you're Guest#1. Thank you, I'm so glad you think I got Johnny in character. I hate OOC stories. I also hate OC's that are Mary-Sue, and I was EXTREMELY worried about Audrey being perceived that way when I first posted this story, so I really appreciate it when reviewers tell me she's realistic, so thank you again :') I really try hard to portray her as someone who has doubts and fears and flaws. **

_**Nicole**_**: Thank you, I do feel better now :')**

_**Guest**_**: Hello, Guest#2! Haha, I am super-duper flattered that you stayed up so late just to read my story, that means a lot!**

**As always, you guys are the light of my fanfiction life!**

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

With a flourish of her pen, Audrey finished forging Mother's signature on a sick note. Folding the scrap of paper crisply, she tucked a strand of gold hair behind her ear, and bent to pick up her school bag. She tucked the note into an outside pocket, and checked her appearance one last time. A splash of cold water across her face when she'd gotten up this morning had taken care of the worst of the redness around her nose and eyes, and makeup had taken care of the dark, sleepless circles, but nothing could make up for the look of abject misery on her face.

She tried to smile brightly at her reflection, but it just looked pathetic and wobbly. She _felt_ pathetic and wobbly. The hot sting of tears crept up on her again, and she took a deep breath, blinking up at the ceiling until they slid bitterly down her throat, away, away, where she didn't have to deal with them…

She sat carefully on the edge of her bed and picked up the phone, dialling Cherry's number.

Ring.

Audrey suddenly wondered if maybe calling Cherry to ask for a favor was a very good idea.

Ring.

Their friendship had been a little rocky ever since she'd gotten back together with Bob.

Ring.

Especially after their fight when Cherry had told her. They'd been decent to one another around others, but neither girl had apologized as of yet.

Ri- Click.

"Hello, this is the Valance household, Cathy speaking."

Audrey swallowed her doubts. She needed to apologize anyway. Besides, Cherry wasn't inherently mean, she'd help Audrey if she asked.

"Hello Mrs. Valance, this is Audrey Miller. Could I speak to Che-… Sherri please?"

"Oh, hi, Audrey! Just hold on a minute, she's in her room getting ready for school."

There was silence for a moment before Audrey heard the muffled sound of Mrs. Valance's voice calling for Cherry. More silence. Whispered voices on the other end. Muffled scuffing sounds, and Audrey assumed the phone was being passed to Cherry.

"Hey, Audrey," Cherry said, her voice sounding a little awkward.

"Hi," Audrey replied, and she couldn't help the way that her voice sounded so flat and empty. "I, um… well, first of all, I'm sorry… you know, about-"

"It's fine," Cherry interrupted quickly. "I'm sorry, too. I kinda flew off the handle, and you were only tryna look out for me."

Audrey sniffled a bit, wiping away a tear that had welled up. "Yeah, it's okay. I also called to let you know that I don't need a ride today. I won't be in, I don't feel well."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I hope you feel better."

Audrey smiled automatically, stiffly, a conditioned response to well-wishes, even though Cherry couldn't see her through the phone. "Thank you. I was actually hoping you could take a sick note to the attendance office for me."

"Yeah, sure thing, just gimme a minute, and I'll drop by to pick it up."

Audrey, anticipating this suggestion, quickly nipped the idea in the bud. "No, that's okay, I think some fresh air might do me good. I'll come out and give it to you while you wait for Bob."

"Well, alright, if you're sure…"

"I'm sure," Audrey reassured.

After hanging up, Audrey stood, school bag firmly on her shoulder, and made her way downstairs. As she walked to the front door, Daddy called out to her.

"Have a good day at school, honey!"

She smiled, because that's what was expected. "Thanks. You have a good day, too, Daddy."

He looked at her, a slight frown on his face. "You okay, sweetheart? You sound… upset."

She smiled again, but tried hard to make this one genuine. She didn't know how well it worked. "I'm fine, just tired."

He nodded slowly, like he didn't believe her, but he didn't push the issue. "Alright, make sure you go to bed a bit earlier tonight, 'kay?"

She nodded before slipping quietly out the door. She went around to the side of the house and hid her school bag in among the bushes. After pulling out the note, she made her way over to Cherry's house.

She didn't have to wait long before the redhead came out, a concerned look on her face.

"You sure you should be out here?" she asked. "It's pretty cold."

Audrey shrugged. "I'm okay."

She handed the note over, and Cherry took it, still looking worried. As the slip of paper passed hands, Bob's blue Mustang pulled into Cherry's driveway, and he honked once, sticking his head out the window.

"Hey, Cherry!" he called, "Thought ya said Audrey was sick?"

Cherry shot a quick smile Audrey's way, telling her to get wrapped up warm inside before making her way over to Bob's car, replying to him as she went. Audrey continued to watch them as they pulled out of the driveway and disappeared down the street, until they turned a corner and she could no longer see them.

She waited a minute, to be sure they weren't coming back, before going back to the side of the house and getting her school bag, so that her parents wouldn't find it and think she'd been kidnapped or something. With one last glance around herself, she made her way into the alley behind her house, where she knew Johnny would be waiting for her.

She didn't like having to lie to Cherry about being sick, but somehow Audrey got the feeling that Cherry's acceptance of her relationship with Johnny didn't extend to her skipping school with him, but Audrey wanted to be there for the boys in whatever way she could.

She had to bite her lip to stop from crying all over again when she saw him. He was leaning against the wall, almost looking casual with his hands in his pockets, staring at the dusty ground beneath him, but the fine tremble running through his body betrayed him.

When she was close enough that he'd hear her, she stopped, not sure whether or not he wanted to be touched right now. "Johnny," she called softly. He looked up at her, and for the first time ever, she saw tears in his eyes. She bit her lip again, blinking hard against her own tears, and opened her arms in a silent invitation.

And then he was barrelling towards her, and he was in her arms, his arms tightly around her waist and his face buried in her hair. She hugged him around his shoulders, and stroked the back of his neck comfortingly.

"How-" she began, but found herself cut off by the tears that suddenly clogged her throat and made her vision blur. After taking a moment to recompose herself, she started again. "How did it-… what happened?"

When Johnny had called the night before, he'd been too choked up to say anything more than that Mr. and Mrs. Curtis had been in a fatal accident. She remembered the dazed feeling as she got off the phone, lying on her bed, staring sightlessly at the pattern on one of her throw pillows. The information had settled itself on the surface of her mind, dangerous, ready to attack at any moment, but ultimately benign as her brain attempted to make sense of what had happened.

And then it had sunk in. Suddenly toxic, the deaths of the Curtis parents had sent shockwaves of grief through her system. Somehow, all she could think of was how Mrs. Curtis always looked so angelic when she smiled. And then she'd had the thought that Mrs. Curtis _was_ an angel now, and suddenly she'd been curled into a sobbing ball. It had taken her a very long time to calm down. Every time she'd started to, she'd think of her cooking lessons with Mrs. Curtis, Mr. Curtis' love of coffee, the way that Mrs. Curtis always smoothed her skirt down when she stood up from sitting, the way that Mr. Curtis would get so grumpy if it rained before he managed to get the morning newspaper in. Random things, little things that didn't even matter in the grand scheme of who Mr. and Mrs. Curtis were, and yet they reduced her to a wracking, sobbing mess.

It must have been somewhere around midnight when it occurred to her that if she felt this awful after having known the couple for a few months, then how must Johnny and the boys feel? _How must Darry, Sodapop and Ponyboy feel?_

It was the early hours of the morning when she'd finally stopped crying, staring at the wall from her collapsed position on the bed with a strange sort of emptiness. She remembered absent-mindedly wondering at the time if she was in shock.

But holding Johnny now, like this, seeing him so upset, it really hit home exactly what _dead_ meant. _Dead_, as in gone forever. _Dead_, as in she'd never see them again. _Dead_, as in Mrs. Curtis would never teach her another recipe. _Dead_, as in she hadn't known Mr. Curtis very well, and now she'd never get the chance to.

Johnny sniffled into her hair and nuzzled her neck, his voice muffled. "It was a car accident."

"Oh," Audrey said weakly. She was caught between the knowledge that Mr. and Mrs. Curtis had passed away, and her feelings that _no_, they couldn't _possibly_ be dead. It was just so… so… _surreal_.

She held him for a little while longer. No kissing. No hands wandering. Just the comfort of being held by each other. And if Audrey noticed the way that Johnny's shoulders shook, or the wetness on her neck, she didn't say anything, just ran her fingers through his greased hair and stroked his back.

Eventually they parted, and they held hands as they normally did on the walk to the Curtis house.

They did not speak a single word the whole way there.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

Dally was lounging around on the front porch, having a smoke. He looked like he usually did. Relaxed, but with an agitated edge beneath the calm. Except maybe the edge seemed a little worse today.

Johnny disentangled his hand from hers and hopped up the porch steps. Audrey followed him quietly.

"Everybody inside, Dal?" Johnny asked, a tone in his voice that Audrey had never heard directed at Dally before. It almost sounded like annoyance.

Dally casually blew a smoke ring. "Yeah," he said, shrugging. "They're all inside, babying Sodapop and Ponyboy."

For a minute, Audrey wondered why he hadn't mentioned Darry, but then she realized that she had a hard time picturing anybody babying Darry.

Johnny's annoyance grew worse. Audrey knew that he pretty much idolized Dally, so this surprised her, but then again, Johnny also loved the Curtis' like his own family, and Dally wasn't being all that respectful towards them at the moment.

"They ain't babyin' them, Dal, their parents just _died_."

Anger flashed across Dally's face, and it was then that Audrey knew that he was more effected by all this than he was trying to pretend.

"Of course I fuckin' know that, don't you think I fuckin' know that, Johnny, huh, it ain't like I've stuck around for two days through all their cryin' just to not fuckin' know that their _fuckin' parents died_!"

As he said the last part, he'd stood up and banged his fist loudly against the porch railing, and both Audrey and Dally saw the way that Johnny flinched away from the loud SMACK it made. Dally seemed to soften, which was really just a softening from razor sharp to rock hard, but it was a softening nonetheless.

"Shit, Johnny, I'm sorry, I just-" He turned away, running his fingers agitatedly through his blond hair, and Audrey watched in fascination. As far as she knew, Johnny was the only person that Dally would ever willingly apologize to.

Suddenly Dally turned again, the rage back on his face. He walked right past Johnny, and kicked the railing at the foot of the porch steps, yelling "FUCK!" for good measure before stalking off through the front yard, flipping the collar of his leather jacket in a way that always made Audrey think he was itching to hit something.

Audrey reached for Johnny again, hoping to comfort him, but all he did was stalk moodily into the house.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

What disturbed Audrey the most was how wraith-like Sodapop had become. His warm brown eyes were dulled and hollow, and he didn't seem to be willing to do much except for sit and stare out the window, Steve hovering awkwardly, unsure how to help. It reminded her of when she was little, and how she'd stare out the window at 5 o'clock on the dot every single day, waiting for Daddy to come home from work.

Except Sodapop's parents never would come home.

It was clear that Darry had been crying, and every once in awhile, he'd bury his face in his hands and breathe shakily for a few moments, but then he'd start making phone calls again. That was all Darry had done, the whole two hours she'd been here. Make phone calls. Two-Bit had told her that he was sorting out the withdrawal of his college application, and his right to the custody of Sodapop and Ponyboy. Audrey bit her lip, realizing that the sudden responsibility thrust on Darry's too-young shoulders was not a ramification of the Curtis' deaths that she had previously thought of.

Two-Bit himself didn't speak much, just stayed glued to the TV, dry-eyed, but Audrey knew him well enough to know that he was upset. Johnny had gone straight to Ponyboy's room, and the two boys had been in there ever since. According to Darry, Ponyboy hadn't left his room since the bodies had been identified.

She shivered. _The bodies_.

After another hour of watching Mickey Mouse with a Two-Bit that seemed to be staring _through_ the TV more than _at_ it, Audrey stood and made her way down the hallway, hoping to find Johnny and Ponyboy. Only one door was closed, so she assumed that that must be Ponyboy's room. She reached out to grab the doorknob when she heard it.

Sobbing. It was soft, muffled, but one of them was definitely crying. She heard shushing sounds, and then a voice drifted to her ears, too soft to hear the words but Audrey would know that voice anywhere. It sounded like Johnny was trying to comfort Ponyboy. She listened for a few minutes, frozen outside the door in the dim light of the hallway, listening to Ponyboy's slowing sobs and Johnny's whispered voice.

She suddenly became aware of how rude it would have been, had she just barged into Ponyboy's room without permission. She waited until she couldn't hear anything from behind the door, and then she very softly knocked.

Johnny opened the door after some rustling, and he slipped out into the hallway quietly. Audrey caught a brief glimpse of Ponyboy curled up on the bed, eyes closed. She assumed he'd cried himself to sleep. The door closed with a soft 'click'.

"Is he okay?" she asked, and then immediately realized what a stupid question that was. Of course he wasn't _okay_.

Johnny just shrugged.

She bit her lip, looking at him, the way that he wasn't making eye-contact with her.

"Are _you_ okay?" she asked gently.

He started to shrug again, but suddenly half-way through it was like his whole body just sagged, like he was tired of pretending that he was okay, and slowly he shook his head 'no'.

She heard a hitch in his voice when he said "Audrey," and she gently pulled him closer, guiding his head to rest on her shoulder while she ran her fingers through his dark hair and whispered over and over that everything was going to be okay, that _he'd_ be okay. He just cried into her shoulder, loudly enough that neither one of them could pretend this time that he wasn't crying.

She blinked away the tears that gathered in her eyes. This was Johnny's turn to be weak, without anyone thinking any less of him. He was always the strong one in their relationship, the problem solver. He was the one who figured out their dates, so that she could successfully sneak in and out, he was the one that listened to stories of her less-than-perfect home life, while she always cried when he tried to tell her about his. He was the one who took care of her while she was on the South side, he was the one who looked after her, physically and emotionally.

But now it was Audrey's turn to be strong for him, so she blinked away her tears, and held him while he cried.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

He walked her home that afternoon, squeezing her hand just a little too tightly, but she didn't ask him to stop. It felt reassuring, like proof that he was really there. The deaths of Mr. and Mrs. Curtis had made Audrey realize how fragile someone's presence in your life really was. A single event, a single accident, a single mistake, and suddenly they were _gone_.

She squeezed Johnny's hand back, just a little too tightly, but he didn't ask her to stop either.

When they reached the alley, he pulled her in for a hug and she felt him kiss her hairline. She turned her head, so that she was looking into his eyes and their noses were bumping.

He lifted a hand and tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear before speaking. "I'm sorry," he said.

She furrowed her brow, burrowing closer, attracted by his body heat in the chilly air of December. "What for?" she asked.

"The way I acted earlier," he replied. "After Dally ran off… ya were tryna make me feel better, 'nd I just left ya out there on the porch."

She shook her head and kissed his cheek. "Don't worry about it."

They stood like that, in silence for a few more minutes, before he softly kissed her and pulled away. "I gotta get back," he said, creating distance. She nodded.

"Are you coming over tonight?" she asked, hoping he'd say yes, but she somehow doubted it.

She was right. He shook his head. "Nah, I think… I think Pony needs me right now…"

He looked like he was going to apologize again, but she cut that off before it even started, because there was nothing to apologize for.

"Then you better go," she said. He nodded. Took a few steps away. Stopped. Looked back at her.

"It's okay," she reassured him. "I'll be fine, I promise. I love you."

He nodded again. "I love you too."

And then he'd gone.


	21. Author's Note- I'M SO SORRY!

First of all, I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so sorry that I basically have made you wait for over a month and when I finally DO update it's an author's note. I never thought that I would do this in one of my stories, because I know how frustrating it is to wait for an update and get THIS instead, but I thought you guys deserved to know WHY you've been waiting so long- and why you're not getting an update _quite yet_.

I only just finished school, for one thing- school finishes later in the UK than in the US. I was studying _insanely_ for exams- because I'm going to university next year I got really freaked out. Seriously guys, it was to the point where even my frigging _mom_ was telling me to take a break.

So I finally finish school last week, and then my parents tell me that we're moving. This Thursday. Gee, guys, thanks for the notice! (- Note. Sarcasm.) They claimed they didn't want me even more stressed during my exams- whatever. So basically I've been busy packing. I move in on Thursday, June 27, _unfortunately _I don't get internet until Monday, July 1. On July 9, I'm going home to America for two weeks (oh, how I've missed you, land of the free) so there'll be no updates during those two weeks, but I SWEAR to you guys that I will do _everything_ in my power to give you chapter 21 between the 1-9 of July.

Again, I'm really sorry about all of this, but you guys have been so supportive of me during my first story on this site- I just felt like you guys had a right to know what was going on.


	22. Time has Brought Your Heart to Me

Chapter 21: Time has Brought Your Heart to Me

**Disclaimer: You know the drill. They're not mine. *sob sob***

**Okay, so I have been superbly busy this week. I had wanted to get the chapter up sooner, but basically all my free time has been spent sleeping, because apparently being busy makes me tired. It's actually a miracle that you guys are getting this chapter before I go away on Tuesday. As such, I don't have time to reply to you guys' reviews. I hate it when that happens, you guys are all really important to me, and I try to show it by making sure I respond. Just know that I LOVE YOU! Hopefully, everything should be business as normal when I post the next chapter. **

**Anyway, please review, because I read every single one- they fuel my love for you and my motivation to write this story, which, I've realized is probably going to be a monster in length. Like, seriously, I'm estimating at least 10 more chapters. **

**I feel like the beginning of this chapter is a little rough, but I get the feeling you guys would rather have it now, no matter the form, than wait another two weeks for me to get back from America. Correct me if I'm wrong.**

**PS: The 'correct me if I'm wrong' bit came out sounding ruder than intended…**

**Also, I have no idea if Tulsa has/had a theatre in December, '65. Let's call it artistic license. **

**I think you'll all be pleased to know that we get a Johnny POV in this chapter :D **

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Almost two weeks later, and things had been hard. Sadness seemed to permeate everything. It clung tightly to Audrey, suffocating. On one hand, she felt as though the deaths of the Curtis' deserved nothing less, indeed, that anything less would be an insult to the memory of what wonderful people they were. But there was another part of her that was sick of being sad, that wanted to shove it all away and lock it into the dark recesses of her mind, where all the bad things went, never to be heard from again. Then maybe she'd be able to breathe without feeling this weight on her chest. Then maybe she'd be able to smile and laugh, without feeling guilty for it in this time of loss.

Then maybe everything would be _normal_ again.

But what was really normal anymore?

It amazed Audrey, how much could change in just two weeks. She spent more time at the Curtis house than ever, and it was like Darry didn't even live there anymore, he'd picked up so many extra shifts. When she did see him, he was quiet and stressed, and when he spoke, his tone was short, sharp, a tone that made her instinctively respond with the feeling that one of them had done something to upset him, though logically she knew that this new Darry was a result of grief and stress.

Sodapop and Steve were dropping out of school. It was a decision that had devastated Audrey, and she was pleased to see that at least Ponyboy didn't look too happy about it either. Audrey had been raised to believe that education was a privilege not to be squandered. It was a tool to better yourself, and she'd always had the mindset that it was something to be _enjoyed_. She generally liked school, and to see Sodapop especially lose that privilege in order to earn money, to attempt to fill the financial hole his parents had left behind, was, to Audrey at least, heartbreaking.

And then there was Ponyboy.

Audrey almost didn't _want_ to go to the Curtis house when she thought about Ponyboy. Being so much younger, just thirteen, he didn't have the same purpose that Darry and Sodapop did. The sadness clung to them, of course, such a real presence it was almost physical, Audrey could almost see the aura of it, trailing after them, following them, refusing to let go of them. But they had livings to make now, and already she'd heard them whispering to each other about how in the world they were going to get enough money to get Ponyboy through college when the time came. But again, Ponyboy had no such purpose, and as such he seemed to drift through the house, ghost-like, empty of emotion, blank. It was eerie, unsettling, _chilling_. He was a shadow of himself, and it was hard to watch. He was just going through the motions, and Audrey wished that she knew what to say, but she was sure that if there were _any_ words that could _possibly_ make him magically better, Darry and Sodapop would have said them by now.

Shifting in the uncomfortable desk chair, Audrey sneaked a peek at Johnny next to her, as Mr. Syme blathered in the background about the symbolism of windows in 'Wuthering Heights'. She wished that she could reach out and hold his hand, but she knew the teacher was facing them. Sighing, she settled for looking at him. This was not a good idea. It just made her want to touch him more.

Johnny had become quieter. He seemed to live more inside his head than with her recently, but she couldn't find it within herself to fault him. Everyone dealt with grief in different ways. As it turned out, Audrey seemed to be a 'carer'. Looking out for everyone else, so she didn't have to focus on how _she_ felt.

The end-of-day bell rang, and Mr. Syme tried to shout out what the homework was over the loud cheer that went up around the room. She couldn't help but smile at the enthusiasm her classmates held for Christmas Break- this had been the last day of school.

Audrey felt her stomach twist at that thought. The last day of school had been the only thing standing between her and her performance in 'The Nutcracker'- which was tomorrow night.

Mr. Syme seemed to give up on ever giving his students Christmas homework as they all flooded out the door without paying him any mind. Audrey briefly tugged on Johnny's jacket sleeve as they tumbled out into the hall, where it appeared that every single student in the school was making a mad dash for the entrance doors. Audrey on the other hand, tilted her head in the opposite direction. Johnny turned his head to where she was indicating and saw the library at the end of the hall. He looked back at Audrey and nodded.

They pushed their way through the throng, no easy feat. It was always easier to go _with_ the current, rather than _against_.

When they finally did manage to stumble into the library, it was mercifully empty. Audrey smiled for a moment, remembering the last time she and Johnny had been alone in the library together. It had been two days after their first kiss, and she had been trying to get him to give their relationship a chance. She remembered the way that he kissed her that day, desperately, like his life depended on it. She remembered the words that he had said to her, when she called herself stupid for having feelings for him.

"_I'd say I'm stupid right along with ya."_

Call her crazy, but it was the most romantic thing that anybody had ever said to her.

She turned to look at him, all greased black hair with those big dark eyes, the way that he was looking at her so expectantly, and love and affection just swept right through her. Her feelings took even her by surprise sometimes, and it seemed he didn't have to _do_ or _say_ anything to trigger them. She just… loved him.

She reached for him, hugging him. He tensed for a second, but she ignored it. She knew that she'd moved very suddenly, and that despite the fact that he _must_ trust her at this point, sudden movements still startled him sometimes.

"Love you," she murmured into his shoulder. He relaxed and hugged her back. "Love you, too," he said into her hair. Closing her eyes and smiling, she gave him a squeeze and a slow, lingering kiss before letting go.

He raised his eyebrows at her, smiling for the first time in weeks. It was such a tiny smile, but it sent relief rushing through her, because as many times as she'd told him recently that he was going to be okay, this was the first time that she _knew_ it, 100%. He needed time, but he'd be okay, in the end.

"Is that what you wanted me in here for?" he asked quietly. "Cause if it was, we should come to the library more often."

She snorted, shaking her head, deeply appreciating the fact that he was joking around, even though she knew he was still upset.

"No, that's _not_ why I wanted you here," she stated primly. Then she smiled, her tone becoming momentarily playful. "It was just a really nice bonus."

Johnny watched her as she dug around for something in her bag, muttering "Where is it?" the whole time.

She finally pulled out what looked like a very small scrap of paper triumphantly.

Audrey turned back to him, grabbing his wrist and slapping it into his hand. He looked down at it, finally recognizing it as a ticket.

"It's for 'The Nutcracker'!" Audrey exclaimed. "Remember, I'm performing tomorrow night!"

Johnny was still staring at the ticket with surprise written all over his face. It quickly morphed into guilt. With a sinking feeling, Audrey realized that he'd forgotten. She tried very hard not to be upset by this. She knew that the last few weeks had been… _difficult_.

Still, she couldn't control it when the smile slid off her face.

Johnny pulled her into another hug, squeezing her tightly to him.

"Shit, Audrey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to forget. I've just been tryna help Pony out lately, ya know how upset he's been."

Audrey nodded into his shoulder. It was a rational, perfectly acceptable explanation. There was no reason for her to cry. She blinked the tears back with determination. Under normal circumstances, she'd have every right to be upset that he'd forgotten, but in this case she knew that it wasn't a reflection of his feelings for her.

Well, logically she knew that. It didn't seem like her feelings had gotten the memo.

He kissed her cheek, then her nose, then her lips.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'll be there, I promise. I'll be there and you'll be perfect and beautiful cause _you're_ perfect and beautiful, okay? I love you."

"I love you, too," she whispered.

"I'm real sorry, Audrey," he said again.

She pulled back from him, finally able to manage smiling again. "It's okay, Johnny. I understand. Don't worry about it."

And it was true. She _did _understand, and it _wasn't_ his fault. The fact that he'd forgotten had just taken her by surprise, and her first reaction was to be upset, but logic was catching up to her, and she already felt better.

"Okay," he said, watching her intently for any sign that she was lying about how she really felt. He seemed satisfied after a moment, but she thought he might still feel a little guilty, because the next thing he said was,

"I really do love you, Audrey."

She bit back a smile.

"I really love you, too, Johnny."

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

The theatre that Audrey was performing at was on the other side of town, the _fancy_ side of town. Johnny had ended up convincing Soda to drop him off and pick him up, though now he kinda wished he'd convinced the other boy to stay. Johnny would never say it out loud, but all these upper class, up-scale looking people were kind of intimidating.

He walked through the aisles of plush red seats in the dim, golden lighting. The whole thing looked like it was trying real hard to be Victorian to him. He wondered how much better his life in the South side would be if _less _money was put into theatres like this, and _more_ money put into the less fortunate side of town.

"B4," he mumbled to himself, "seat B4."

It took him the better part of five minutes, but he finally found aisle B, seat 4. He cast a furtive glance around himself, and was relieved to see that Audrey's parents, while only a row in front, the front row, were so many seats down that they'd never notice him if they didn't know to look for him. Having never officially met them, he wasn't sure if he'd even of recognized them if it weren't for the fact that Audrey looked so much like her mother. The resemblance was incredible, in Johnny's opinion. It was like someone had taken an exact replica of Mrs. Miller and just made it a little smaller and younger and skinnier and then had named it Audrey.

He settled down into his seat and tried to sink as low down into it as he could. Lots of people here were dressed real fancy. The women were in evening gowns and diamonds and the men were wearing suits. And here he was, greased hair, denim jacket and muddy converse. Glory, he really loved Audrey, he knew he did, or else he wouldn't be sat here, letting all these Socs glare at him for daring to grease up their theatre.

Audrey. Golly, he still didn't know how the hell he'd gotten so lucky. Girls like her weren't supposed to give guys like him the time of day. What did she even see in him anyway? She was beautiful, and rich to boot. She could have the whole world at her feet, with just a snap of her dainty little fingers, and then she goes and picks him, going nowhere in life Johnny Cade. She was going to be somebody someday, he knew it. Sitting here in this theatre, it just proved that to him. He still felt like the world's worst boyfriend, forgetting about her performance in the first place, but she'd forgiven him, told him she loved him.

She _loved_ him.

He still had to remind himself sometimes, still had to pinch himself, make sure it was real, that _she_ was real. Except for the gang, his life had been pretty miserable. He'd talked about suicide a couple time before she came along- he didn't think he'd ever actually be able to go through with it, but there had been some days when all he could think about was ending it. Those were the days his father's voice was strongest in his head.

"_You should've never been born, you fucking screw up!"_

Those were the days when it really dawned on him that nobody loved him, not really.

"_You and your good-for-nothing father! The two of you ruined my life!"_

Not even his own mother.

Sure, the gang loved him, but that was different. It wasn't… well, Johnny didn't really know how to explain it too well, but it wasn't a _focused_ love. The gang loved him cause he was part of the gang. They all loved each other, and it bound them together in a way that was similar to family, but Johnny could tell that it wasn't quite the same. He knew cause if it ever came down to a choice between, say, him and Pony, Darry and Soda would chose Pony a thousand times over. And that was fine. Johnny understood. It didn't upset him- Pony was their brother, they _should_ chose him. But it just went to show that _like_ family wasn't the same thing as _family_.

But Audrey… well, Audrey's love was focused, to say the least. She didn't love him as part of a collective, or in a way that she loved others. The way that Audrey loved him… she loved _only_ him that way. She loved him for him, and she'd come to love the gang too, but it was because they were important to _him_, and it was in the less special, less focused way. Audrey was finally somebody who would chose _Johnny_ a thousand times over.

And that was when Johnny realized that actually, _Audrey_ was the closest thing that he had to family.

"Well hey there, Johnny! I wasn't expectin' to see you here, though now I think about it, I probably should've," somebody giggled from the seat next to him.

He jumped, and turned to his left. In a way, he wasn't at all surprised to see Dawn Brady sitting there. He knew she and Audrey were close- it made sense that Audrey would get her a ticket. What he _was_ surprised by was her appearance. Her brown hair had gotten long over the last few months, without him taking much notice, though he noticed _now_, because his mental picture of her featured her with hair to her lower back, whereas now it was long enough to sit on. She had a feather braided into it, and she seemed to be the only person other than him who wasn't all dressed up, like they meeting royalty or something. Instead, she wore a long, tie-dye maxi-dress. He blinked at her for a minute, wondering when the hell Dawn Brady had turned into a hippie. He couldn't remember Audrey saying anything about it.

"How are you and Audrey?" Dawn asked, hazel eyes wide and imploring. He felt himself blush a little, not used to being asked about his relationship with Audrey. The guys just seemed to assume that if something big happened, Johnny would tell them without them needing to ask.

"Uh, g-good," he stuttered out, still a bit surprised by her appearance. He cleared his throat and tried for something more confident. "We're doin' good."

Dawn nodded, smiling. "It's crazy, isn't it? That someone we know is actually performing here," she said, and Johnny nodded, still a bit in awe of Audrey himself.

Johnny had kind of hoped that that would be the end of the conversation. Dawn was a real nice girl, and he liked her well enough, but she sometimes talked too much, and Johnny was a quiet soul. Not to mention, half the time he didn't know what to say in response to her. Not that it seemed to matter. If he didn't respond, she'd just keep talking.

So, of course, it _wasn't_ the end of the conversation.

"I think it's real artistic," she was saying about ballet, "how they tell a story with just music and dancin'. They don't talk or nothin'!"

That threw him for a loop.

He turned towards her, his face slightly confused.

"They don't _talk_?" How the hell was anybody supposed to know what was going on?

Dawn looked at him for a moment and promptly burst into a fit of giggles. Now see, this was why girls made him so uncomfortable. He always got the feeling they were laughing at him behind his back or something. Well, in this case it was right to his face, but he wasn't sure if that made it better or worse.

"No, they don't _talk_," she said, rolling her eyes playfully. "It ain't a musical, Johnny Cade."

He sighed, hoping he wouldn't be bored stiff. Honestly, if they wanted to 'tell a story', why not just _tell_ it?

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

To be completely, utterly and brutally honest, most of the performance _was_ boring. Every once in awhile, he caught himself being particularly fascinated by some spin or leap that one of the dancers did on stage, but for the most part, he just wanted Audrey to come on stage.

And then, Audrey _did_ come on stage.

And it was _fucking incredible_.

Audrey had always moved real graceful anyway. He remembered thinking, the very first day that he met her, when she whispered hello to him in the back of the English classroom, that she moved like water.

She was even more graceful when she danced. He watched completely amazed as she spun on the spot in countless circles, leaped higher through the air than he thought possible without a running start. She'd never seemed so beautiful to him as she did during that dance, her costume glittering under the stage lights, her cheeks flushed with happiness. He could literally _see_ it now, how passionate she was about dancing. He'd always known really, but it was one thing to be _told_ something, and another to _see_ it.

Watching her, he couldn't believe that someone as beautiful, as incredible as her was his girl. It blew his mind all over again that she'd chosen him, of all people.

He knew then, deep in his soul, in a way that he hadn't quite realized before, as though it had only been half uncovered, half discovered, before this night when it was staring him in the face, shining in all its brilliance, that he loved her.

That he would _always_ love her.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

Audrey stood backstage after the ballet had drawn its curtains, eyes wide and bright with excitement and left over adrenaline. She was still in her deep plum costume, and part of her didn't ever want to take it off. She suspected it was the part of her that had declared she wanted to grow up and be a princess when she was five.

She kept a sharp eye out, really hoping that Johnny would show up backstage before her parents, because once they came in, they'd sweep her off for a celebratory dinner, and then her chance to see Johnny tonight would be gone.

Next to her, Julie nudged her in the side with her elbow. Audrey turned towards her, only to watch the brunette point through the crowd of dancers being congratulated by their families.

"That wouldn't happen to be your boy, would it?" she asked, pointing to Johnny, who was very easy to identify due to the way that he was dressed. Dawn was trailing after him in a tie-dye dress, talking a mile a minute, and Audrey was highly amused to see Johnny trying to simultaneously search the crowd and pay attention to Dawn at the same time.

"Johnny! Dawn!" she called, waving her arms above her head. "Over here!"

They both turned to look at her at the same time, and seconds later she was being engulfed in a huge hug by Dawn.

"Audrey, you were incredible! You were the best dancer in the whole thing!" she was babbling excitedly.

Johnny's hug was less overwhelming, but, she had to admit, more appreciated. Before she even thought about it, she'd started to pull him towards the changing rooms, which she thought were probably empty at the moment as everyone seemed to be out here.

"Oh, alright then. It's not like I came backstage to see you or anything!" Dawn called. Audrey turned back guiltily, but upon seeing Dawn's face, realized she was being teased. As they continued towards the changing room, Dawn struck up a conversation with Julie, and Audrey smiled. That's what she loved about Dawn- the other girl could get along with anyone.

She knocked, to be sure, but she was right in thinking no one was in the changing rooms. She closed the door quickly behind them and then excitedly threw herself at him in a hug.

"Oh my God, that was _amazing_!" she squealed at him through a kiss. "I felt so incredible! To have everyone there, acknowledging my dancing, _enjoying_ it! And the standing ovation at the end! I've never felt so amazing!"

It was true. Tonight had made her feel special, successful, accomplished. She _loved_ that feeling. The rush, knowing that everyone could see how hard she'd worked for this. She knew now more than ever that she wanted Juilliard.

"You _were_ amazing," Johnny said, smiling at her.

Audrey smiled back. "I hope you weren't bored," she said, knowing the whole ballet thing wasn't really his scene.

He shook his head. "Nah, I was alright. You were… you were incredible."

The way that he looked at her when he said that she was incredible gave her the distinct impression that he wasn't just talking about the dancing. Her smile widened, even as she blushed.

He leaned in to give her a soft kiss, smiling apologetically as he pulled back.

"I should probably get goin'," he said. "Soda's givin' me a ride back. He's probably waitin'."

"Okay," Audrey sighed. "My parents will be here soon anyway."

She watched him go sadly, wishing their relationship didn't have to be kept secret.

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

Mother was smiling when she came backstage. An actual full-on smile. It made Audrey feel like she'd actually managed to get something right in her Mother's eyes for the first time in a long, long time.

Daddy lifted her in a bear hug and spun her around. "Princess, you were great up there!" he exclaimed.

Mother came from behind him, running a hand over Audrey's curled hair. "You were perfect," Mother said softly. It was such rare praise that Audrey actually felt tears well in her eyes.

"Thank you, Mother," she responded just as softly.

Mother continued to look at her with pride for a few moments. It made Audrey feel fantastic. She wouldn't lie, part of the draw towards dancing when she'd been a child had been Mother's approval, and part of her _still_ did it for that, no matter how much she loved dancing.

"We have some good news for you," Daddy said, pulling a chair over and sitting down.

Audrey smiled at him, wondering what could possibly make this night better.

"Oh yeah? What?"

Daddy smiled widely. "We're moving back to Seattle."

{{{{{{{{+}}}}}}}}

**I'd like to give a shout out to XxCheshireSmilexX who helped me with Dawn's slow transition into hippie-dom. : ) **


End file.
